Disclaimer – Tom Sawyer and all its characters and contents belong to the incredible Mark Twain.  This is in no way intended to be offensive to Mr. Twain or anyone in the gay community.  It is meant to be a humorous moment in my life that I thought others might enjoy as well.

My son is in the 6th grade and like many other 6th graders, he is required to read, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer as part of his reading requirement.

He was hesitant to read the book as it is written in a different style and didn’t immediately appeal to his taste.  I encouraged him to give it a try telling him it had tales of boys fighting, running away, playing pirate and spying on Indians.  Having gained his interest in the novel, I assigned him to read the first 3 chapters.  It took him some time to read through and various expressions passed over his face, but none of them the smile that I expected.  After completing his reading assignment, I asked him what he thought of it.

He said, “Mom, why did you think I’d like reading a gay book?”

Feeling surprised, I inquired as to why he thought it was a gay book.

“Well,” he said, “Tom meets this new boy who’s dressed up all fancy and he says he’s going to lick him and how he can lick him with one hand tied behind his back and how he was going to lick him until he couldn’t stand up.  I know you thought I’d like the book, but really boys licking boys?  Isn’t that gay?”

Failing to suppress my laughter, I was finally able to explain to my son that “lick” can mean to beat up and the boys were talking about fighting and not literal licking of one another.

“Oh,” my son said with wide eyes, “it makes so much more sense now.”

So now I’m left wondering, Is Tom Sawyer, an adventurous story or a secret homoerotic fantasy?

Excerpt from Tom Sawyer:

“I can lick you!”

“I’d like to see you try it.”

“Well, I can do it.”

“No you can’t either.”

“Yes I can.”

“No you can’t.”

“Can.”

“Can’t.”

“Oh, you think you’re mighty smart, don’t you?  I could lick you with one hand tied behind me, if I wanted to.”

“Well, why don’t you do it?  You say you can do it.”

End of excerpt from Tom Sawyer.

When I look at it with the alternate definition of “lick” I can almost see my son’s point of view.  What do you think?