Twilight Sucks
A deeper look into today’s “literature”.
If you’re like a lot of people with at least half a brain, you may be asking yourself this question: What on Earth has happened to the literature of today? How could a hundred and five year old pedophiles become attractive to young women? How did vampires suddenly go vegetarian? How did werewolves become nice? Unfortunately, I am not here to answer those questions. However, take relief with the fact that you can relieve this anger. Below are some of the best Twilight-Hater related sites available to be raged on today!
Movies In Minutes- Tw ilight (By: Nigahiga)
The makers of this short parody of Twilight have gotten it right. This, ladies and gentlemen, was how Twilight was meant to be viewed. A story which makes much more sense, and was much more entertaining.
Twilight Sucks
I think that the link tells you all you need to know about Twilight but this is the ultimate Twilight hater’s website. Take in the small comforts such as the fact that there ARE some people who read books that don’t zap your brains out. You can get directed to some more anti-Twilight sites. Most of all, feel free to rage here. The site itself isn’t quite functional yet but it has a pretty active forum and a load of anti-Twilighters.
Retelling of Twilight
This is basically the entire plot of Twilight. By reading a compressed version, you will see how simple and childish it is.
On the bright side, it wastes a lot less of your time!
Repeat… and Repeat… and Repeat…
The above link is a collection of things that happen OVER AND OVER again in Twilight. The statistics are in fact quite interesting. For example, did you know that Edward’s beauty is referenced one hundred and sixty five times? The book is four hundred and ninety eight pages! That means on about one-third of the book’s pages, Bella gives us some crap about how hot he is.
Yahoo Answers
Welcome to a world where Twilight haters and Twitards collide. I suggest the book section where there is currently a Twilight war right now. Do the right thing: take up arms and protect innocents who are still pure from reading Twilight.
The specimen above is a typical Twitard sample.
Read the Books
Reading the books is by far one of the most amusing thing I have done in the past week. Some of the descriptions (Edward was described as ‘incandescent’!), various examples of said-bookism, and total lack of writing style will keep you laughing for hours!
Warnings: May cause severe boredom, diminish writing skills, and cause loss of IQ points. Viewer discretion is advised.
And finally, a possible farewell to my fellow readers today. As I speak, the Twilight cult only grows larger, attacking those who speak against Twilight. I am not sure if I will be here after this article. The cult is vicious; I fear for my life greatly. However, I ask only one things of you. Please ensure that you don’t fall into this cult the lives of the future children of this world depends on it. Thank you.
Enjoyed this rant? Make sure you tell me by leaving an ‘I Like It’ or a comment (you don’t need an account). Also check out this other rant: I Hate Being Politically Correct. Didn’t like it? Feel free to leave me a comment with some critique or reasons.
Liked it
I loved twilight reads and movies when I was young.
I did not realize there were such sites. thanks for the information. Great read!
This was entertaining and informative! Nicely done.
I read the Twilight books, too. but the movie in minutes was hilarious!! I decided not to go see the movie because I find that movies NEVER do the books justice. The movie I see in my head when I’m reading is the only one I need to see. Thanks for the article, tho. So funny!!
LOL, I am afraid that I don’t read this kind of stuff. But everyone who does have fun with it. To each his own. I’m sure its great for young readers and any kind of reading is wonderful in this day and age.
Its so informative
and yes, the world changed to tolerate anything said….
Very nice!! anything that bashes twilight is awesome!
you are funny thanks.
That’s funny and I loved the article. My brother and I were talking about this stuff a few days ago. I will not read the books or pay to see the movie…
TUSAANI!
Great article, very witty and amusing.
Did you watch the movie? I know Joanna did *GASP!* HOW COULD SHE?! For a fellow Twilight-hater, I can\’t believe she did that T.T
Anyway, I\’ll end this comment with saying, \”I enjoyed reading your article very much!\”
-Laters,
Laura
P.S. I CAN NOT BELIEVE YOU ARE ADVERTISING SAARANGAN AND ARIA\’S COMPANY! T.T
But…they are also advertising your articles (which is how I got to your profile incidently), so it\’s a win-win situation but seriously?
nice article mate, very hilarious!
Everyone says they loved twilight. I have read all the books and now I might go see twilight. It seems the books are always better then the movie. Good article though.
Niceee
i couldn’t agree moree!
heheheee
heyy what is triond?
and laura was talking about saraangan and aria’s company o.o
what is that ^
lmfaoo
anyway AMAZINGGGLY WRITTEN
I HATE TWILIGHT TOO D:
twilight
In my opinion, Bella is a total jerk! She falls in love with a creepy homo who could kill her and could be a crazed stalker yet she still loves him. She then finds out he is stalking her. (If I was her i would have screamed and reported him. He then almost kills her phisically and mentally. She goes to Jacob (which is okay), lifts his hope and crushes him for the guy that started all this messed and should have died, but a lonley doctor turns him for his own sake. HORRIBLE BOOKS AND HORRIBLE MOVIE!!!(with poor graphics)
Heres a tshirt someone created here for sale very funny Cafepress
OK THIS IS REALLY WEIRD…I LIKE THE INFORMATION BUT I LOVE TWILIGHT SORRY PEOPLE…THE MOVIE SUCKED BUT THE BOOK WAS NICE…