Dating. It’s on the minds of lots of single people these days…I’ve noticed it. When you’re dating after a divorce you look around and see a lot of changes. You can find dates in clubs…at church…online…personal ads….but I’ve heard a lot of complaints about it, too.

A friend of mine made a date to go out with a woman he met online. Then he hesitated because she complained of men mistreating her and how she was sick of it. He felt for her but he didn’t think he should take the “abuse” in retaliation for some other guy. He’s right.

Dating after a divorce is like a book that’s been WRITTEN and is waiting for someone to come along and READ it and CHERISH it. It was written and read by someone else and now that person has set it aside and gone on to another one.

Some people borrow books from the library for a short time. They read them and take them back and exchange them for others. This is casual dating. You enjoy the book but it’s time to move on.

Some people buy books at Borders, Books a Million, Barnes & Noble, etc. and keep them for years, only to some day donate them to charity or sell them at a garage sale. This is like a divorce. It was once a book fondly thought of but for whatever reason the person has moved on.

Oh, and don’t forget the dating with children…that’s a book with sequels. You either decide, “I don’t want the baggage” …and discard the book and never look back, or you discover the treasures of the sequels…that they are a tribute to the original yet independent in their own right…having their own little stories.

Then there is THE book. The one you treasure and cherish for always. You come across it one day…perhaps at a flea market or garage sale or a used bookstore. You catch your breath. Is it truly? Do you dare? You look inside and find it is a rare first edition. Or a book with sequels. Or a one of a kind. You look around cautiously. You’ve discovered the diamond in the rough and you just know you need to grab that precious treasure before someone else does.

It can be a book of poetry, of mystery, of drama, of humor , of sexuality AND sensuality or…if you’re lucky, it will be full of all of the above.

Just because you don’t like a particular book doesn’t mean it isn’t a WONDERFUL book all the same. So be cautious and treat the book well while it’s in your hands. For somewhere out there, the true owner of that book’s heart awaits.

That my friends, is the soulmate you find after a divorce. The hope eternal for true love.

So ladies, the next time you wonder where the great guy is at our age? Don’t whine and complain about the one who treated you bad. Get to know the guy who’s into you for HIM, not someone else.

Not so fast, guys. Don’t compare HER with the one you had ten or twenty years ago. She may not be a spring chicken anymore but face it, you aren’t just out of puberty yourself.

So both of you do yourselves a favor. Take that book, read it, treasure it, and display it proudly. Because the best books are the ones you love to read and re-read.

Trust me on this.