I read way too many romance novels.

I know a great many women who indulge in these mindless fantasies that project a multitude of impossible happily ever after scenarios. I’m one of them. It’s one thing to lose yourself in an epic tale of adventure and romance, it’s quite another to get so caught up in the the intricate web of a beautiful story that you look for its elements in everyday life.

Every woman dreams of finding that perfect man. The one that fits us so perfectly that we can’t imagine breathing without him. We all want the tall, hunky Scotsman with that scintillating accent or that avenging Viking who would do anything to keep us at his side. The out-of-time highlander, oozing with ethereal sexuality, gorgeous beyond words and he’s only got eyes for you… and just for the record, vampires do not exist.

As you might be able to tell, I’ve got a thing for the highlander/Scotsman scenario. There are a myriad of heroes to choose from in the realm of romance novel characters. Preferences are all relative to an individual but the damage impact is the same.

Yes, I said damage. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are far too many women who get so caught up in the desire to live out their own romance novel that they will never find happiness. I mean, what man on earth can compete with a fictional character in a romance novel? Let’s be real here, ladies. We’re only hurting ourselves with this behavior.

Women have been reading romance novels for centuries. I’m sure most of us have read at least one book from authors like Jane Austin or Emily Bronte. Is it possible that the concept of romance novels have been ruining realistic potential in a relationship for just as long?

Allowing fiction like this cloud our hopes of finding the perfect man will result in the opposite reality. The perfect man does not exist anywhere but in our dreams. The sooner we put such detrimental expectations aside and learn that true love will present itself to us when we are ready for it, the better off we will be.

We need to remember that these archetype heroes have been created by the minds of women. Women, just like us. These men do not exist and you are never going to find that dreamy swashbuckling pirate waiting for you in some distant harbor. You’re never going to stumble over that sleep-enchanted highlander in a stone-circle ruin. Romance the likes of which these books exhibit does not exist. Books like these are what they are: an escape.

I believe there is magic in this world and that love can be the stuff of romance novels. I’m actually not contradicting myself with this statement. The moment that we abandon the tendency we all have to flood our life with the things we think we want and just relax and allow love to actually happen to us, we can then experience what it is to live out our very own romance novel. The difference is that this story is written in our words and not inundated with a well-written author’s perspective on what romance should be.

***addendum***

I received some constructive criticism based on the content of this blog and I’d like to clear something up…

I agree that not all women actually end up holding out for the alpha male romance novel hero. (I think that I have been one of those rare few and am myself guilty of the following…)

I believe that more often than not, women hold onto these ideals and grab up the first schmuck that comes along and later try to inflict those ideals upon him. For instance, I can imagine a scene where a woman finishes a romance novel and then gazes upon her man with a spark of disappointment in her eyes and says something like, “why can’t you be more like…”

Remember ladies, the average man is not given to reading romance novels and has absolutely no idea why you think he should be anything more than he is.

Zenobia, at the start of the story, is full of life. She is at her prime. She is very successful as a magazine writer in which she used the pseudonym Zenobia. That is how the name came to be so popular. She holds the esteem of not only a few but most people in her place. Her committing suicide then comes as a huge puzzle. Even her friend, Mr. Westervelt, who knew Zenobia well, questions the very reason why she would commit such a grave mistake. This adds to the idea that a cover-up could have occurred. That Miles could not have narrated the whole truth about what had transpired. In the last portion of the story, we find Zenobia, a strong-willed woman, died because she committed suicide which prompted her long-time friend Mr. Westervelt to raise suspicions on such claims (”She was the last woman in the world to whom death could

have been necessary”). This part is the subject of debate and the reason why questions surrounding Zenobia’s death arise.

Miles depiction of Zenobia at the middle part of the story showed her as woman of strength but is also capable of weakness (how can she be happy, after discovering that fate has assigned her but one single event, which she must contrive to make the substance of her whole life?). Zenobia questioned Miles statement as he commented on how happy Priscilla had become and he lamented that women are happier than men.

Zenobia unfortunately fell in love with Mr. Hollingsworth who, as the story unfolds, reveals that he wasn’t in love with Zenobia. At one point of the story, when Miles criticizes Hollingsworth, Zenobia comes to the latter’s defense. She believes that Hollingsworth actions stem from nobility and greatness of mind and not otherwise as what Miles believes. But Zenobia’s love is unrequited despite her efforts. And this is believed to be the cause why she committed the ghastly act of suicide.

The conclusion of the story though seems to give a whole new twist as Miles admitted a long-held secret (’I–I myself–was in love–with–Priscilla!’). As Miles announced his real feelings for Priscilla one could not help but wonder if Miles could be hiding the truth all along. He is so good at convincing the readers that he has feelings for Zenobia throughout the tale that his admission in the end for his feelings for Priscilla practically takes them off-guard. The conclusion kind of unravels the mystery. It holds the key that shed light on what really happened to Zenobia on the faithful night. It is prompts the reader to ask more questions instead of enlightened them. Did a cover-up really occur? Is Mr. Coverdale telling the truith all along? Given the situation that the

narrator Miles is actually in love with Prisicilla and not with Zenobia, it leads one to believe that a cover-up is possible. For how can one explain the deadly choice Zenobia made given the kind of woman that she is – strong, intelligent, wealthy and successful? What Mr. WEstervelt said is true. There was no probable cause for her to commit suicide. And there were no signs that she even entertained the thought, even if she felt sad over her apparent failure in love. As a matter of fact, in her conversation with Miles she revealed that she was going to become a nun.

The story is full of twist right from the very start. Zenobia’s character is one of them being strong and weak at the same time. There is also the mysterious presence of Priscilla and as you get involved with the story you begin to wonder how this sweet little

girl figures in the plot. As it turns out, she is Zenobia’s sister. Mr. Moodie, the stranger talking to Miles at the start of the story, turns out to be Zenobia and Priscilla’s father who hides from the public because of the crime of murder she committed in the past. Even Mr. Hollingsworth becomes the target of a twist when he opens to Miles that he intends to establish a School of Reform for prisoners at the community to which Miles strongly resisted.

Nathaniel Hawthorne’s Blithedale Romance is a moving and haunting tale of pursuit of happiness and perfection. They build a community to reach their goal. This small community is actually a group of idealistic people. In the end, their pursuit ended tragically in Zenobia’s death.