Twilight: The Revered Perversion
“Twilight” is an abomination.
As an enthusiast of both literature and vampires, it would seem only natural for me to adore this book; but this simply is not the case. I stand in ardent defiance and resistance of “Twilight.”
I admit, due to the preliminary knowledge i possesed, I could not bring myself to read the novel itself. However, I did muster the mental fortitude to walk boldy into the snake pit and watch the movie, which proved to be more than enough to solidify and confirm the validity of my disdain.
The many fallacies of this work of fiction are grave and unforgivable. Stephenie Meyer’s army of estrogen-fueled zealots must be dissolved, and we must all allow “Twilight” to, in true vampire fashion, slink into the deep shadows of remorseful memory…never again to be looked upon by mortal eyes.
My most bothersome qualm with Meyer’s supposed masterpiece lies in the conceptual crime it commity- the domestication of vampires through the novel’s leading light, Edward Cullen. Edward is a nice high school boy who just happens to be a vampire. He’s young, intelligent, thoughtful, and beautiful… the kind of beautiful that only exists in cheesy romance novels. Beautiful hair, beautiful face, beautiful teeth, beautiful body, beautiful eyes, beautiful, beautiful… Did I mention that Meyer would very much like to stress the point that he’s beautiful?
Anyway, one day, Edward meets some damsel in distress named Bella, saves her from imminent peril, and falls in love with her, but the problem is he’s a vampire and has to resist his primal urge to eat her in order to preserve their otherwise undying love.
A vampire would never save a damsel in distree from imminent peril. Vampires place people in imminent peril, and a vampire certainly would never fall in love. They are evil creatures, and they deserve to be portrayed as such. Take Dracula, for example, the most ferociously infamous of all vampire tales. This vampire archetype was based on a foreign ruler who impaled people and placed their skulls on spikes to ward off enemies. Clearly, he was not a nice man, and neither are vampires. They are heartless wraiths of the night and devour their blood using razor-sharp teeth. Vampires turn into bats at will, turn into dust at dawn, and spend their free time consorting with the devil.
Vampires do not gloriously glimmer in the light. They burn and die. Vampires do not have perfect teeth. They have horrific fangs. Vampires are not beautiful. They are the gruesome visage of the evil undead. Vampires do not fall in love. They repel and destroy everything that leads to happiness.
Meyer’s PG-version of vampires is enough to make me nauseous.
My next problem with “Twilight” is the portrayal of the ideal guy. Women all over the world are pining for imaginary vampire boyfriends with perfect bodies and minds, who are impossibly strong, fast as a bullet, and willing to endure unimaginable inner torment simply to be with that special someone- they’re fantasizing over this perfect creature who doesn’t exist. Women have been led to delusion, and for such a superficial aspect of the book, incessant insistence of Edward’s “perfection,” is far too prevalent.
Personally, i find Edward Cullen to be a rather repulsive character. In fact, he should be incaracerated for a very long time. As a vampire, Edward does not physically age, so he appears to be a 17 year old for all of eternity. In all actuality, he is over 100 years old, and i can’t fathom why it is that this ancient man insists on pursuing a love affair with a high school junior.
The reason America has statutory rape laws is not to protect underage women from a young man’s wrinkles. It’s to protect the young and naive from the minds of older and more experienced men who would otherwise take advantage of them. The mind of a great grandfather would not fall in love with the mind of a 17 year old girl, even if their bodies looked to be one of the same age. So, not only is Edward Cullen a far cry from true vampire lore, he is also a pervert and a potential rapist.
Shame on you Edward Cullen.
Shame on you Stephenie Meyer.
Forget “Twilight.” Put it out of your minds and move on to better things in the wide world of literature.
Like Barney’s “Book of Hugs.”
Liked it
I would have to disagree with you here. I am NOT one fo those over obsessed fans of twilight who stalk the cast of the movie. infact I do not like the movie that much [compared to the novels]. Although I do have an interest in such things as vampires and strongly disagree with your statement that all vampires are ‘evil’. Dracula was written by a man called Bram Stoker. Stories.
You have to remember that what YOU think of being evil is only based on horror movies and ’scary’ stories. Stephanie Meyers version of vampires are both good AND evil. Why shouldn’t vampires fall in love? After all they are not totally immortal as so frequently described. They were once humans so why not have some slight human faetures left and learn to love. Like Edward.
Again your own opinions reflects Stoker’s. like Evil, horrific creatures with fangs. but let me ask you this…have you seen a vampire before? Nope. and i am almost possitive about that. You have to understand that all people have different opinions on these things and you cannot be so crude as to dissaprove over what this woman has written over an opinion.
So let her have opinions like vampires fall in love and are also good natured. But if you read the novel you would find it A LOT more descriptive and better than the movie shows. She describes how the vampires are also evil. So You have your opinions like vampires are scary and have fangs…..but do not be hypocritical.
Why not fall in love? It’s natiural and maybe even vampires can be effectionate….never know untill your bitten.
P.S I am not a total vampire nerd either
Oh My God!! this is one of the best books ever written. I have read the twilight saga about 5 times and i never bore of them. Your just weird if you dont like it! Its amazing. I’d like to see you try and write a book that good sellling.
I would have to say that I really don’t think that the Twilight series is very good at all. I agree with all of the points you made up until you bring Dracula into it, and then agree again when you say that Meyer’s PG-version of vampires is enough to make me nauseous to the end of your tirade. I would have to partially agree with Lauren when she says anyone can have their own opinion as to what delineates good and evil. Just because someone doesn’t see things the way you do makes them wrong. And last but not least I would like to direct my attention to “TwilightLover”. I do not believe you have ever read a descent book in your life if you can say something like, “Oh My God!! this is one of the best books ever written. I have read the twilight saga about 5 times and i never bore of them. Your just weird if you dont like it! Its amazing.” I would indeed have to say that you are wrong…and that your just weird to have been able to read them 5 times, and that you think its amazing. Your head must be as empty as Bella’s. She was perhaps one of the most shallow, underdeveloped characters to have ever sullied the page of a vampire novel.
Much as everybody has a right to an opinion, same goes to a person’s idea of fantasy.
Meyer’s vampire idea which deviates from the usual bloodsucker is quite fresh. There’s much more potential to the story though other than just catering for the tween population.
Great or not, her idea made it to Bestseller & Blockbuster hence it has attained its goal.. to entertain
My friend, you are a person after my own heart. I cringe at the thought of Twilight as well. I love fantasy novels, but to call Twilight a novel would be degrading to the concept of “novel”. If Twilight’s a novel, you may as well say that my baby cousin’s doodles are novels as well.
This comment is a defense against the negative comments here.
The definition of vampire is already stated here. Everything that embodies a vampire has been established by time and other people. The statement “All vampires are evil” is unquestionable. Should someone be good, he/she will not drink blood. You may say that Edward doesn’t drink blood, or at least not human blood, and I will concur, but then he cannot be called a vampire. Therefore, I regard Meyer’s usage of term “vampire” to refer to Edward Cullen inappropriate.
Again, the definition of vampire is already established. Vampires cannot love. They are not human, and love is a human attribute. Only humans can love. Edward is, according to my argument above, not a vampire, and since he can love, I might readily say that he’s human. However, there are still his inhuman characteristics.
I voice these thoughts out to enlighten utterly intoxicated, hormone-driven younglings who still believe Twilight is a good book. And yes, I have a right to condemn you, since I was a Twilight fan once. I just read other books and saw the flaws eventually.
The fair girl, with a laugh of ribald coquetry, turned to answer him. \”You yourself never loved. You never love!\” On this the other women joined, and such a mirthless, hard, soulless laughter rang through the room that it almost made me faint to hear. It seemed like the pleasure of fiends.
Then the Count turned, after looking at my face attentively, and said in a soft whisper, \”Yes, I too can love. You yourselves can tell it from the past.\”
(Bram Stoker, Dracula)
So much for vampires\’ inability to love…
Well, I read the whole series. Twice. For a couple of months I loved the books, and now for that I am slightly embarrassed. I still think they’re decent, but after reading some articles like this one and others that pointed out other flaws (and i found most of these pretty hilarious) I find that the books are actually
not that great. Even Eclipse (the 3rd), which is my preference, containing less sappy romance, and more action. But, pick up another well known book (even something like Harry Potter) and check out the language used in those books. You’ll be hardpressed to say that Twilight is better written. It is entertaining to some degree though, and I can see how people really like it. And how I used to really like it.
(Granted, the books are better than the movie. Catherine Hardwicke made it seem even cheesier than it actually is)
Failed to mention:
My point was, that the “Twilight Phenomenon” really doesn’t deserve all of the hype. The plot was a bit too straightforward and lacked the twists necessary for a superb read.
They are okay books, and read them if you want to. I wouldn’t endorse them or tell people not to read the series.
My overall review: Meh.
@Courtney:
the plot/?? WHAT plot?
i personally feel so ashamed of myself that i actually bought the 1st book and i am a boy (BUT i didn’t know anything about it). If a hole would open right in front of me with the flames of Hell in it I’d threw my book in it. As somebody else stated, just because a book has fancy words doesn’t make it good reading.
Pedophilia is in Twilight like magic in Harry Potter.
They use a drug refference in a book for 12 years old children.
They make girls believe that is OK to be married and pregnant at 18 years old.
Masochism is prety much present too.
AND IT’S BESTSELLER!!!
I am starting to believe the end of the world will indeed occur in 2012. But not in the form of floods and meteorites. In the form of murderers of culture.
So, shame on you SM.