Why I Hate Twilight
95 reasons why you shouldn’t read Twilight, one of the worst pieces of literature ever written.
- Bella is a perfect character (“Mary Sue”), which Meyer hides by calling her clumsy.
- Being clumsy is not a flaw if Edward always catches her.
- She can’t do anything without Edward.
- And when he leaves she attempts to commit suicide.
- Meyer is living out her own fantasies by writing about Bella, who is clearly herself.
- The books aren’t well written, just because every other word is a fancy adjective doesn’t make it good writing.
- All the rules Meyer sets for being a vampire are broken by the end of the series.
- Not only that, she breaks rules set by more esteemed authors.
- The world population will come to an end because all girls who read this book will think they are Bella and will wait for their Edward to come until they are old. And he’ll never come.
- Bella almost dies fifty thousand times, but Edward always saves her. This is boring.
- Edward is too perfect and has no flaws either. Even vampires should have flaws besides wanting to suck human blood because it’s natural to them.
- The reason the books became so popular is because Bella has no personality and any loser can put themselves in her shoes.
- If Bella is so ‘plain’, why do so many guys fall for her within the first two chapters?
- Bella teaches women to let the man handle everything, which pretty much is a huge step backward for women everywhere, who have fought for equality.
- Isn’t it convenient that her father always leaves her alone and doesn’t question her? Real parents aren’t that way.
- Lack of character development.
- Bella is a useless, whining, doll that suddenly has become the idol for girls everywhere.
- People say that Twilight is better than Harry Potter. Guess what? WRONG.
- Edward is extremely possessive, border-line abusive, and boring as anything.
- It’s too cliché.
- This book contains no real sex, so it’s not really a vampire novel.
- Read Anne Rice – those are vampires, not the girly men that Meyer has created.
- You don’t have to describe the character every two pages, we know all about Edward’s ‘perfectly toned chest’ the fourth time she mentions it.
- Bella reflects upon herself through the entire novel to tell important plot developments. Hey Meyer, ever heard of “Show, don’t tell”?
- She never uses the word fangs in the entire book series, and it’s supposedly about vampire.
- Her vampires sparkle. Enough said.
- Supposedly Meyer never uses the word ‘said’ in the entire first book, instead using breath.
- There is too much face touching.
- It’s predictable, and childish.
- We read the entire series just to laugh at the stupidity of it.
- Meyer can’t think of original names. The only original name she used was Rennesme, which is combination of two names and doesn’t count.
- Vampires can’t get people pregnant. SPOILER!
- Vampire baseball was just a disgrace.
- People think Meyer is the best writer ever.
- The plot drags on forever, when it really could have been completed in two books.
- Wow, yet another ‘original’ plot of forbidden love.
- Why is it called the Twilight Series if only one book is titled Twilight?
- It’s too easy to mock. Go on Youtube, how many mocks on Twilight do you see?
- They use a drug reference in a book written for ten-year-olds.
- Stephanie Meyer creates some interesting characters ie: Jasper and Alice. She then ignores them, and gives them no development.
- Every Other Facebook bumper sticker is about Twilight/Edward. EVERY OTHER ONE.
- Fangirls are so blinded by their love for Edward that they don’t realize the book is terrible.
- Stephen King agrees that Stephanie Meyer can’t write ‘worth a darn’.
- It’s stupid.
- Bella.
- Bella is Edward’s beard.
- Meyer wrote four books about nothing, really.
- Straight men sparkle?
- It’s teeming with grammatical errors.
- Bella Swan means beautiful swan, which is horribly cheesy.
- Edward Cullen is sparkly; crows like sparkly things.
- Do any guys actually like Twilight?
- If the first 200 pages of your book rely on the mystery of a character’s identity, don’t slap “First, Edward was a vampire” on the back cover.
- There’s far too little actual conflict in the story. But this probably stems from having a flawless main character.
- They fall in love way too quickly and it seems fake because no one falls in love instantly, especially teenagers.
- They only love each other because she smells good and he’s hot. There’s no other given reason why.
- It’s just not healthy to teach young girls that True Love involves the guy watching you while you sleep.
- Edward is HOT. We get it.
- She had only been in Forks for a month when Edward had been watching her sleep for two months.
- There’s something disturbing about Carlisle turning only teenagers into vampires.
- All Twilight fans are insane, proved by several responses to criticism such as…
“What is your name, address and phone number, just so that i can track you down ank kill You with my super awesom vampire powers THAT I AQUIRED FROM READING THE SERIES!!!!!!!!!!”
- And this…
“do you WANT a cult of angry twilight luvers like mysef at your doorstep at night trying to behead you????? you shouldnt voice an absurd oppinion like this on the internet.”
- And this…
“you must have not read much good litterature in youre life, because if you cannot appreciate the quality of this art…..YOU ARE MENTALLY UNSOUND!!!!!!!”
- Isn’t funny how Twilight fans can’t spell and use proper capitalization? By the way, 61, 62, and 63 are real quotes.
- The reason Edward can’t read Bella’s mind is because she doesn’t have one.
- T. Pain would totally win Bella’s heart and beat up Edward because he’s on a boat.
- Edward hits on the school faculty to get out of classes.
- We applaud Stephanie Meyer, as she’s got to be a rich woman by now, having found her forte in the insane cult of teenage girls who go rabid over her writings.
- Vampires vs. werewolves (isn’t that a Facebook application and such a original idea?)
- There’s nothing worse than a fan girl going insane over a fictional guy. It’s rather pathetic actually, so, um, yeah, get a life and keep reading those books, chickies.
- This book was not worth the paper on which it was printed.
- Bella has no goals and no future, her life revolves around Edward.
- WWJTFD: What Would a Judgmental Twilight Fan Do? Answer: attempt to attack with the ‘cool vampire powers’ they gained from reading the series. Awesome!
- Even if you like the book, it doesn’t live up to its hype.
- Edward is a good VILF, that’s it.
- “And I cried numerous times upon realising there would never be an Edward in this world.” – quoted from Almuvira Anona on Yahoo Answers.
- A hundred years difference = pedophile.
- It’s a co-dependent relationship stripped down to the bare essentials. Girl: “I can’t live without you. I want to change myself to be with you.” Boy: “If you leave me, I will kill myself.”
- Stephanie Meyer must really be into pedophilia: first Edward and Bella, now Jacob and Renesseme? SPOILER.
- New hot couple name for Bella and Edward = Bedward
- You may think Edward Cullen is smart and fast, but Chuck Norris could take him.
- Bella’s only deep thoughts are, ‘Edward is so perfect. I love him.’
- The only reason I kept reading was to see if Bella could redeem herself by getting over him.
- Jacob, who didn’t abuse Bella and was nice to her, was dumped and she chose Edward. Hmm, masochistic much?
- Ms. Meyer writes the way I did when I was twelve years old, doodling in my journal.
- “It would have been much better if Jacob and Edward discovered they were gay: no sequels, no whiny Bella. Amen to that.”
- Many people have enjoyed the making of this, many have helped with it too…in other words lots of people hate Twilight.
- You are allowed to have your own opinion, just like we are allowed to have ours. Get over it. Twilight fans don’t seem to understand that though and attack at the mention of flaw in the book.
- Light Yagami doesn’t approve of Twilight so neither should you.
- “Cause it’s dumb.” – Random Person on the Street
- “It’s annoying as hell.” – Random Person on the Street #2
- Martin Luther would not have not have approved if the book was written during his lifetime.
- Harry Potter could beat Edward any day with his magic powers.
- It’s offensive to the entire human race, both male and female.
- The book was so bad we wrote 95 reasons why we hate it.
1565
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You’re as right as hell.
I got half way through book one, and couldn’t go any further. It was a lot of talking…a LOT of talking.
wow. couldn’t agree any better. Twilight sucks as hell.
Lol Bella has a man voice ^_^
I agree on every point.
Wonderful–couldn’t agree more.
Comment on number 9 though–I would hope that at least a FEW girls were smarter than that (myself included). After all, not everyone worships the ground Mrs. Meyer walks on.
While I don’t think Twilight is the greatest book ever, I think you’re reasons are pretty lame. I think a lot of people are angry because someone became a HUGE “success” on such a simple idea, that I personally had seen plastered all over online fiction communities (quizilla, fictionpress, etc.) years before Twilight came out. I read a lot of stories on those sites that were far better and more original than Twilight, but I wouldn’t go so far to say that Twilight is a HORRIBLE book.
It obviously appeals to young girls, and I don’t see why people are so keen to crush them by telling them that’s it’s a horrible book and a waste of time. I’ve read books that were far worse, but I don’t see anyone bashing those nearly as much as people are bashing Twilight. I’ve read every book in the series, and while I definitely wouldn’t say they are my “favorite” books, they were enjoyable in a sort of this-is-entertaining-and-I-don’t-have-to-think-that-hard sort of way.
So in summary, while I agree with some of your reasons, I think the vast majority are pretty insubstantial and lame. There are definitely a lot of better books out there, but there are also a lot more that are worse. In all, I think it’s a good book, and for whatever reason, you are writing out of spite or jealousy or some other uncalled for emotion.
To post #12, Not even: Of course it’s the authors opinion. That’s obvious. And the sentence “It’s awesome, you make stupid points that rely on NO fact.” DUH. It’s a fictional book, it’s not based on fact in the first place. Also, the author of the list is female, not a ’sir’.
I haven’t read the books, not interested, but it’s a list people, a list. It’s something that states someone’s opinion, and probably meant to be humorous. Get over it.
To posts 10 and 11, thank you for good grammar. :]
Umm, Real quick bring it down a notch. Okay, so This is the Internets (this is referring to comments #9,11,&12) Yes you are allowed to have your opinion and yes The person who made the list is. I understand that you don’t like reading about people badmouthing your favorite book, BUT, THIS IS THE INTERNET Seriously, The author is ALLOWED to post his/her opinions here, If they didn’t what would the internet be filled with, I don’t understand why you read the list, why just be like “Oh a list badmouthing Twilight, I like Twilight, I best not read this, for fear that I may become enraged…” Just calm down. Please? or don’t read posts that upset you
If you read the books you know exactly why…they don’t have fangs…read more variations of vampire books they’re all different, do you make fun of Elves in Lord of the rings because they’re tall and beautiful when honestly in older times elves where either short little things that were closely related to fairies or the little people that help Santa? I don’t think so, so drop the whole “I thought we were talking about vampires” bit. And who ever said vampire novels had to be sex filled to be vampire novels? Your a perverted jackass!
She can’t think of original names? what the heck? yeah because Jasper is an everyday name…and so is Esme and the last name Cullen, grow up.
Isn’t the wafewolf Jacob a pedophile in a sense? I mean hes in love with their baby… right? at least thats what my sister tells me. And she doesnt see whats wrong with him loving a toddler. oh well- joss weadon is in his ivory tower laughing.
I do realize you probably meant the “it has to have sex to be a vampire book” bit as a joke, but I just thought I would point out that you considered Anne Rice’s books to be vampire books, and I have a hard time remembering any substantial sex scenes in there.
Ok I liked Twilight but this list is pretty funny (and mostly true), so to you other people who say who ever made this list didn’t read it, I think they did. Stefanie Meyers really did not create good role models for any one in these books. Her other book The Host was much better.
Does Twilight really have grammatical errors? (I haven’t read it.)
Yo, #25 Connor: You don’t get it, go to youtube “i’m on a boat” T-Pain would so win. This book is perfect for teenage girls with relativley inactive imaginations, beyond that, it’s tripe.
I’m a reader, wide reader.. I’m no expert at all, I think that there’s no such thing as read all. I also believe that there’s no book in the world that suck that much that doesn’t give you something..
This saga left me the idea that I’m growing up, and the fanatism and idealistic clichés works for some books. I’m not saying that the books are inmature, it’s the kind of books that atracks youg people.
And it’s true, every author it’s free to put their own rules, the exciting part it’s being innovative, congruent, funny.. and I didn`t saw any chalenge on the “new” vampires, that’s just me.
Anyway, for some people work, for some other don’t.
So don’t hang up on jokes, unless it offends you, and if it does, some of it might be true.
I feel like you are ignorant and can’t accept change. Why can’t someone write a book that sways from the typical “vampire” without people getting butthurt over it? how cute. Books are books, if you don’t like it move on
i like how most of the people who have commented this have attacked you because its your opinion, yet they seem to forget that by saying the book is great they themselves are voiceing an opinion. She’s allowed to not like it just as much as you liked it. So stop attacking her.
I enjoyed the books but also agree that they were poorly written and about twice the length they needed to be. But most of it was enjoyable (aside from new moon which spent far too long going on about Bella being depressed). The books obviously arent going to win the nobel prize for literature, but as a bit of fluff, they are fairly entertaining. If your willing to take them as what they are a written soap opera about a vampire who glitters and the girl who falls for him its an enjoyable but not enlightening read.
I read all four books. I hated them immensely but was oddly drawn to finish them, excited to finish them even, which makes me feel more than just a little bit less then I was once.
The writing is terrible, the errors are to numerous to count and the heroine is nothing but a sad sap of a girl, illustrated even more startlingly in the movie, yes I watched it, I beat myself with a soap filled sock afterward.
My daughter has Edward and Bella posters in her room, I can’t even bring myself to look at them without thinking of the contradictions to my parenting they espouse. I let her love them anyway, against my better judgment. I am sure she will not grow up to be a ridiculous woman who relies on men for her overall satisfaction and success in life. If she does turn into that, most likely I won’t be blaming it on Twilight.
You do realize that you used the reason of the “they sparkle” like 5 or 6 times….just like “we got it Edwards HOT or the reason of his built chest after the “fourth time she says it”…yeah we get it…you don’t think its right that they sparkle, CONGRATS!
You’re reasons are about as good as the reasons some love the series. Could have done a lot better. And make sure your semantics are correct before you criticize others’. You left out at least half a dozen “is.”
A few snorts and at least one chuckle… try harder next time.
You left off the best life lesson….
If men could read women’s minds…..
THEY WOULD NEVER LOVE THEM.
So, of course, the one mind he can’t read…is fascinating.
I agree. i read the books simply to understand what the fuss is about. However, thank god for them. Now, thanks to Twilight a whole section of society will never reproduce thanks to their obsession waiting for their Edward. And this should be celebrated… who would want weirdos that are obsessed completely by fictional characters to reproduce anyway?
omg i squee’d at this… Even though I love the book im not some crazy fan who cant see that yeah there are flaws… I absolutly loved the harry potter comment. So true.
I agree, Twilight (and the entire series) is grossly over rated. I also agree with most of your reasons as to why it is stupid; although your accusations of terrible grammar would have been more effective if not for your own errors.
By the way, Harry Potter was over rated too.
If I were to say one positive thing it would be this: The books may be average and a little trashy, but at least they have kids reading.
I have never personally read the book, so I can’t say whether I think it is good or not- That’s kind of a matter of opinion anyway. I do, however, think it is a bit silly for people to become so obsessed over such a thing. It’s a book for cripes sakes- good or bad. Read and then move on with reality.
I do believe that some of you all need to review the basic rules of either British grammar or American grammar. Yes, they are different, and many of you violated multiple rules in one sentence. To those of you who are clearly seniors in high school, it’s called a dictionary and can help with the completion of words in the proper context. The post was funny, and reading the comments was like watching a car crash in slow-motion – I wanted to look away, but just couldn’t.
I LOVE YOU!!
you are so right!!!
=D
Haha you made my night!
I can’t tell which is more amusing, the list, or the flame war occurring in the comments ^_^ Good show!
It is just a story…….Everyone can like what they want….who cares if you don’t like it….or if you do like it??
This list made me laugh a few times, and although I’ll agree that a lot of your reasons for Twilight being crap are groundless, they still made me lol a little.
I’m glad someone pointed out the fact that people saying your opinion is rubbish and shouldn’t be allowed to exist are showing an opinion themselves. However, I’m surprised that Twilight fans have been dissing someone for reading the series. How can you have a go at a person who has actually taken the time out of their life to give this series a chance?
“You didn’t enjoy it, don’t read it.” Er, a little too late there really, seeing as you have to read it to actually know if you enjoy it or not first. Besides, like I said, at least the author of this list actually had the common decency to read the series before she attacked it.
I’ll be honest, I haven’t read the series and I probably won’t just because it’s been hyped up so much and I’m now totally aware of the fact that it’s a complete and utter girly wet dream.
For me, the only good things that came out of Twilight are A River Flows In You, by Yiruma, and Decode and I Caught Myself by Paramore.
Oh, and I’ve also got to add that #89: “Light Yagami doesn’t approve of Twilight so neither should you” actually made me laugh so much and appreciate the author of this list. If they have good enough taste to have read/watched Death Note and to refer to it in a completely unrelated piece of writing then I high five them with all my heart.
Hail Kira!
Hahaha. This was AMAZING and yet sooooo true!
I’m going to send it to all my fellow peers who are too obsessed with twilight.
Numbers 69 and 70 have grammatical errors. Males and females are different sexes not different races. Otherwise I agree with most of your comments.
People have said, “It’s your opinion who cares.” As an 8th grade English teacher I care. I don’t want my students reading this crap literature. I’d rather they read Playboy and Hustler.
I have a doctorate level degree and majored in English literature. I understand the criticism. It is not great literature and not an example of healthy feminism. With that being said, I enjoyed all 4 books. It ends too cleanly, but for those of us who read fluff for escapism, it is enjoyable.
#54, at least kids are reading. I am not advocating throwing out Shakespeare and reading it as part of a curriculum, but people can read for enjoyment’s sake. Frankly, I care about that.
You are entitled to your opinion, but many of your comments were whiny and immature… Maybe there is some pot calling the kettle black.
Thank you, reading this list was truly entertaining and I certainly agree with most of it. Sure, today it’s a good thing to get kids to read a book, but please not something as stupid and cheesy as this… Rather go for Harry Potter, it’s of unmeasurably higher quality in every aspect, be it character development or plot.
I agree that Twilight is an awful series and that the fangirls can be annoying as anything but in reality when you read some of this list you are just as bad as them. Seriously, when you justify not liking something because “so and so doesn’t like it” you sound just as much as a follower as all those you are trying to make fun of. Also, though I understand that this is supposed to be written to comedic effect, when you make a list of reasons to dislike things, try to avoid things like 64 and 95. They really are not reasons, not even opinions really. Just space filler.
Wow, you commenters take these things far too seriously. Twilight was awfully written and had no character development, nor did it have any original ideas. It was predictable, boring and tiresome. As for the movie of it. It was the same.
Those are facts, not opinions, and are valid.
Your my hero
you are awesome. Also, your captcha isn’t hard as balls to read.
I won’t go so far as to say that you’re a complete idiot for hating Twilight, in fact, I won’t even get mad, but please don’t get snarky at others for reading a book and enjoying it. Maybe nobody in that book is really well developed. Maybe they fall in love too quickly for it to be real. Maybe it’s not a perfectly written book. I don’t care. I, for one, read books just so I can enjoy them. If you didn’t like the book, that’s perfectly fine, but please don’t go around telling other people that they’re complete and utter fools for liking a book that was written to be enjoyed. If most of those fans are teenage girls, well, I guess we can see who the book was written for.
And please, if you are going to tell people what a bad book it is and why nobody should read it and why it should be burned for the good of humanity, give good reasons. Don’t throw in stupid things that aren’t true. Or at least, be reasonable with what you put in.
Ah, whatever. I probably digressed in there accidentally.
One last thing: you said that Twilight fans don’t have good grammar, right? Well, look right above my post. “Your my hero”. No apostrophe, no period. Unless you’re going to get people to agree with you who love taking the extra five seconds to make sure their three words are properly written, don’t use that as a reason not to read the books. Good God, I could use this last thing as a reason why someone should read the series. Well, no, ’cause it’d be a very bad reason, and anyone worth two grains of salt would be able to see as much. Ah whatever. You’re entitled to your opinion. I just hope you read the books before passing judgement. You can’t judge a book by its readers alone. Not all the people who read the books fit into one of two categories. It is possible to enjoy them without becoming a giggly fangirl.
At least I hope so. It would be extremely awkward if I grew a uterus. I’d have a lot to explain if I ever got a girlfriend.
And on that light note, I’m off. Have fun arguing on the internet, boys!
Your list is insta-win because of #66 alone.
I’M ON A BOAT!
Rofl, love it! Here’s one for you… a friend of mine had a coworker tell him that his girlfriend dumped him because he “wasn’t anything like her Edward”. He thought she was cheating on him… until he found out she meant Edward from Twilight! Can you imagine being dumped because you weren’t enough like a fictional douchbag?
lol, I like the post.
But I have to say that I enjoy reading the comments when anything is Anti-Twilight. Most of the time it’s really entertaining. Especially when the psychotic fans get wind of it.
It’s probably not a good idea to complain about poor grammar when your own list is just as guilty.
The list and posts are much more entertaining than any piece of fiction. Good job. Here is an idea for a book. All Twilight fans are given an invitation to meet the REAL Edward in Arizona. They are directed through a curtain where they drop into the Grand Canyon never to be heard from again. Who invited them? Stephen King, because for once he wants to write truly scary non-fiction. Twilight fans are scary.
Grammar Guy: She is not publishing a book, she’s writing a list.
I don’t understand why people compare HP to Twilight in the first place. I’ve read Twilight and a Mary Sue cannot be compared to a wizard fighting for what is right.
I remember I was so obsessed with vampires when I was middle school (before all of this Twilight drama emerged). I loved Annette Curtis Klause’s vampire love stories, Anne Rice, Dracula, and even the bloody Cirque Du Freak series and all the other girls would think I’m weird.
What now freaks? At least the stuff I read had substance and some form of message. You have no idea how sick I am hearing about all the retarded Twilight book reports in my English HONORS class. “OH the grammar and writing wasn’t very good, but it was a romantic story” To bad that whole forbidden vampire love crap was written a bazillion times before in a BETTER format.
Thank goodness I started high school and got preoccupied with all the school work just in time before the Twilight plague could get to me.
dear lord! I looked at the comments, and wow! can nothing be spared from angry people attacking other peoples ideas? we know you Twilight lovers enjoy that book series, but some people don’t like it. This list was made for people who didn’t/don’t like Twilight. if you don’t like it, then don’t read a list called “why to hate Twilight”. I had contemplated being an asshat, but that would make those of you who love Twilight even more pissed off.
I have read all the books. I liked them, but I wouldn’t call myself a fanatic. Your list however had me laughing. And better yet I think a lot of them are true, which is where I am at a conflict.
I enjoyed the books because there is no base of truth in them whatsoever, and people thinking there is, are just crazy. But that’s just it I read this books to relax and read something I think would be fun to read. There are a lot of mistakes in the book and plot holes but I think it was enjoyable as a book to read on a weekend since it isn’t exactly heavy reading.
And as for Stephanie Meyers, she is living the dream. Playing on the emotions teenagers feel (Falling in ‘love’ for no reason but looks) and made a lot of money for it. I’m just mad I didn’t think of it first. I think she knew that she couldn’t write a novel that would change literature for the better, so she wrote silly little things for money.
As for your list, I love it! I agree with it all and I think you should add more. But I will continue to like Twilight.
Also, you are right, Harry Potter would kick Edward’s ass!
i love twilight but i think the writing and stuff sucks
um and also harry potter is better
I hate Twilight, however, your list is unimaginative. All you do is attack people because they like something, and your jokes aren’t funny. With one exception, “66. T. Pain would totally win Bella’s heart and beat up Edward because he’s on a boat.” That’s pretty funny.
I have to admit that I read the first book, kind of. I really don’t remember the book at all. It was that lack luster. I can deal. I was just in high school and I swear to all Gods in the universe that if I hear one more pathetic, no brained teenager scream that Twilight is the end all be all, I will go Clockwork Orange* on them. That’s right, classical music, Twilight,and no way to shut their eyes. Soon, they will be disinclined to make a “Twilight will pwn your soul” comment. Besides we all know that Bella Lugosi and Gary Oldman, can truly play vampires as they were meant to be seen, through Bram Stocker’s eyes.
*Clockwork Orange was written by Burgess, all right doth belong to him.
Haha yeah.. also.. in the book, it says that their little clan are all like vegitarians.. so does that mean that Bella is like a cow? XD Beistiality, much?
You know what i think is funny. I’ve actually started reading these series & liked it… But i agree w/EVERY point you’ve made on here. It’s definitley “CLiche” & in no way is it Better then Harry Potter.. absolutely no way!
Oh & You know I’ve been thinking that the WHOLE TIME… “Why is it called the Twilight Series?” Like w/ Harry Potter, that’s the name of the series but Twilight… There’s like no name… I get so confused everytime i ask for it at the library. I’m like do i just ask for the New Moon or do i say New Moon, the sequel to Twilight or do i call it New Moon from the Twilight Series (which never makes any sense to me). I have NO Clue. But yeah good job… I guess.
LONG LIVE Harry Potter.!!!
Okay I really had to comment… The list made me laugh… a lot… and I agree with several points, especially the bits involving sparkling, grammatical errors, Stephan King saying she can’t write, and Bella being an attempt at a flawless character (Mary-Sue anyone… yes I read fanfiction… and the bit about Edward’s character being a ‘mystery’ and ‘Edward is a Vampire’ being posted on the back cover.
So for the record… I have read about 250 pages into the first book. I will admit that the genre of teen romance is not my cup of tea. I tend not to read romance romance at all really… the genre does nothing for me. I gave up on Twilight (and I really, really tried to read it) because I simply could not stand it. I didn’t particularly like it but as a writer and a major reader, it made me cringe. Horribly.
I want to point out that there are loads of really good things about the books. They’re popular which means they get kids to read, especially young teens girls, and reading is good for them. They’ll look into the books in the sections labeled ‘If you like Twilight read…’ and thus be exposed to more material, and that’s good. Literacy is good. The book itself, written is not horrible… I admit this.
Now this is not a bashing, but you have to understand, that Twilight is not a good work of literature. It’s okay, mediocre at best. There’s a million things she could have done better, the major one which jumps out at me is rewriting the vampire myths in a different way because honestly, the sparkling, is hokey. It’s ridiculous and I’m a big fan of old horror stories and films and legends and though I accept that she had to find a way around the sun myth for the book to work, she didn’t do it very well.
The writing itself could have been a million times better if she wrote it 3rd person (again… only read 250 pages into the 1st book) because quite frankly, Bella boarders to much on a imperfectly perfect, mary-sue type character and I honestly what to know what her editor was thinking when she let Meyer get away with not giving Bella a total personality makeover. If we were taken out of her head she could have gone places with it. It would have the potential to be less monotonous, to take a more, omniscient point of view on the thing, which would have been neat, especially if she still refrained from mentioning that Edward was a vampire until 200 pages in (and didn’t tell her audience this on the back cover). It would have pumped things up.
Also, for the record, this is perfectly fine that she can’t write very well. It was her first book and she was writing in a genre that sells books through crappy writing. Honestly. Romance books are full of clichés, lots of talking, lots of expressing, little plot, and just a lot of crappy writing. That is what makes it entertaining, that’s how the genre sells. There is NOTHING wrong with that at all because it works. Similar to comedy in films… the straight foreword comedy tends to suck as movies (think… dodgeball, anchorman… ) but that’s okay because we don’t watch them to be moved, we watch them to be entertained. Teen romance is great because it’s entertaining and it gets kids to read, but the writing is generally (generally, not exclusively) crap. And that’s okay.
I think (and as a writer… I’m not published but I certainly have the ability to recognize very good writing and not so good writing, weather or not I actually enjoy the book itself) that ultimately she did not write a good book and that is really where my issue lies. I have a problem when people claim that it is a good book because honestly… no it’s not. It has virtues, absolutely, but the writing is not good at all, the characters need serious work, the plot… yeah I’m not gonna even go into that… and she’s defacing a really great and creepy legend, not making it more beautiful.
So the list is kind of harsh, maybe a little, not very well informed (yeah my articulation went out the window… it’s late and I’m emotional and tired) but I found it highly funny and I just wanted to put a couple thoughts in.
I too hate Twilight. However, this list is almost as badly written as the series itself.
I’ve heard nothing but bad things about this. definitely not gonna waste my time. Just the synopsis is enough to make me think its dumb.
Love Harry Potter.
Twilight itself= meh. It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever seen. I am rather disturbed by their relationship, which is unhealthy at best, codependent and emotionally abusive at its worst.
Ultimately, Buffy did everything Myers is trying to do 500x better, with more complexity and authenticity, 10 years ago.
Twilight fans are what make me go crazy. My sister is one. But she’s not one of the abusive ones. I can make fun of it to her and she sticks out her tongue and moves on. I’ve seen people get seriously chewed out for so much as mentioning they aren’t crazy about the series, though. That’s not cool, kids. I’ll defend Harry & co to the last, but I’m not gonna attack someone outright just for saying they don’t like him. I understand. If they want to get into it, I’ll get into it, but here’s a tip, Twilighters–just saying, “You are so wrong they are the best you are stupid!!!!” isn’t a defense, it’s a straw man attack. Ah well.
I love how the fans are reacting. Everything they say proves you right.
I couldn’t even finish the first book. I simply can’t read page after page of how Edward is perfect and Bella can’t, for some reason, live without him.
My main problem is figuring out why Edward liked Bella so much, especially after getting to know her. She has zero personality.
If he can read minds, I’m sure that in the span of a hundred years he read some pretty intelligent minds…
Also, the kids choose to do high school over and over again. I wish Meyer would have explained how they got driver’s licenses or permits with old birth certificates. I mean, we can’t really ignore the real fact like these just so the story can go smoothly and Edward can go to school and drive around…
Good job coming up with the list. I enjoyed reading it more than reading Twilight!
I agree on most of your points. Most of the girls and women I know that obsess over Twilight, are actually very rational people. I don’t understand what makes them say, “TWILIGHT IS TEH BEST BOOK EVAR!!11!” Maybe it’s because the majority of those women don’t read much?
The lesson here; make your young daughters read. Give them classics instead of letting them read Twilight.
65 is sosososo true.
“Wasted money on the stupid film. But its a fact that twilight fans r super defensive abt that film. WTF im not allowed to say it stinks instead let u bore me to hell abt its story????????
PS Its a super Queer movie”
and even better…”OMFG!!1111!!! TwiLite is sou gay and dum!!11one!!!”
Twilight haters’ grammar isn’t so hot either
Twilight is overrated, its true. But y’know…its alright to read. If you don’t go in thinking “THIS IS GONNA BE AMAAAAZING.”
Wait, one more thing.
Twilight gets people who don’t read into reading. That’s good enough for me.
You and the others who compiled this list are my heroes. Seriously. I utterly despise this series. It is poorly written and I completely agree with your statement about adjectives, because, no just since you can use a bunch of adjectives does not mean you are a real writer. Give a first grader a thesaurus and I’m sure that kid will be able to produce something of more substance.
Yes, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, so you crazy little fangirls out there need to get your knickers out of a knot and calm the hell down. I mean, just the other day I was in Barnes & Noble and saw the Twilight books out on a table in a display for a middle school’s book wishlist. I remarked to my friend, a fellow Twilight hater, “These books are absolutely horrendous. They should not be allowed out here.” A girl sitting nearby heard me and looked at me with such loathing. She immediately slammed her book shut, stiffly stood up and walked away, shooting me death glares as she left. I mean, come on, honestly? Grow up.
Want to read a real vampire series? Try the Sookie Stackhouse novels. Anyone can make a book into a movie, but a book into an appraised television series on HBO, now that requires actual literary skill.
well, i read the first book thats actually called twilight when it first came out and thought it was the best book ever. i used to watch buffy and angel alot and loved the whole vampire shmeel, but i never read the sequel, new moon. then came the twilight craze. girls all over my school carried it around in their bookbags and were always reading it and talking about it and then i realized, why did i like that book? really, why did i like it?? and i started reading these things, and the steven king review on the book comparing it to harry potter. then i started reading new moon and i just couldnt keep reading it. i tried, i really tried. i thought, if i liked twilight so much when i was younger (i only read it once, while i read the whole harry potter series quickly and more than once) why dont i like new moon now?? so i put the book down and i will never read it again. i can already tell the rest of the series sucks.
I used to be good but now it just sucks and i think the only reason people think its ‘good literature’ is because they don’t know what good literature is because they are 13 years old and because the book is really easy to read so they think that’s what it means. Try Dracula, now that’s a good book.
To post #17
LOTR sucked just as bad as Twilight.
66. T. Pain would totally win Bella’s heart and beat up Edward because he’s on a boat.
This one made me laugh so hard. When I was in High School I liked these books, but the more obsessed people become the more I want to just forget I ever read them.
As much as the purists may want to disagree, literature is about making money. You may dislike the story, you may find grammatical errors, you may even think the message is dangerous, but if it SELLS then maybe instead of wasting your time compiling a list of why “Twilight” sucks, you may want to study why it has succeeded and see if you have the talent or ability to do so yourself. If you can’t make as much money and as many sales as this author has, then no matter what, she is more SUCCESSFUL than you are or may ever be.
I read the whole series so no one can accuse me of not reading the books and not knowing what I’m talking about (although i don’t remember half of it because quite frankly nothing notable went on), and i read Twilight before anyone besides people that lived in Forks (my best friend’s grandma) and ate lunch at this small cafe. My friend bought it because she thought it had something to do with forks, and decided that it was half decent but not worth much rave and passed it on to me read. It’s not a horrible book because quite honestly there have been worse written, however in no way is Twilight worth half the hype its getting, in fact it should’ve stayed in the clearance sections of those small cafes in rather remote areas instead of filling shelves at every book store in the US. The poorly developed plot, lack of real drama or irony, and dull characters made for a very recycled book. The only reason i kept reading was with the false hope that eventually there would be some wild plot twist to amount to the hype. Needless to say that never happened. Now many of the fan’s excuses include; but it’s so romantic, the moral of the story is grand, and she uses such imagery. There are authors that use much better imagery than stephanie meyer. At any local bookstore you could pick up a better written romance. Does love conquer all? I don’t know but i surely don’t need a long drawn out series about a handsome vampire and a blande heroine to give me a generic answer.
As for this list?
Spot on.
These books are bad for this country sort of like McDonald’s is bad for this country. You can make the argument that “at least kids are reading” but with that same logic you can say “at least kids are eating” in reference to mikey D’s.
It’s mindless fluff. It is a rationalization and people are wasting their time not being challenged by books. There are many great books that also manage to be good, entertaining reads. Even in Young Adult fiction (like Twilight is described as).
There are books like Perks of Being a Wallflower, Feed, and Catcher in the Rye. None of which are the greatest books but at least they provoke thought in the reader.
Twilight is mindless drivel that reinforces sexism and unoriginality. They aren’t even well written like Harry Potter is.
People need to start reading their veggies instead of filling their minds with mcdonald’s.
America is getting stupider and it’s things like Twilight leading these kids to believe that they understand what literature is that are causing it.
Read something at least a little bit smart people.
Ok, to number 15, seriously, if your parent or your friend’s parent isn’t like that, doesn’t mean ALL parent’s aren’t like that. I recently visited my friends house, and we went inside, she got her keys and money and just left.
Do you know ALL the parents in the world? I’m pretty sure you don’t.
This whole list is stupid, everyone has their own opinion, right? You shouldn’t be against their opinion just because it isn’t the same as your nonsense.
Ok maybe Twilight wasn’t so well written, but it’s a huge success and you should deal with it.
EDWARD CULLEN! TWILIGHT! (=
I read the entire first book. I didn’t like it, but I don’t think it should be hated. However, I *was* disappointed by the lack of love (character development) shown for Jasper and Alice though (number 40). However, even with this major flaw, at least Meyer has written a popular book and made serious money off of it. More than you can say for yourself, right? XD
89 made my day. Thank you so much. I do enjoy the twilight series, so dont go assissinating anyone or I’ll have to go all Ryuzaaki/Nate river/Mihael Kael on you.
I have to say one thing, Stephanie Meyer is clearly brilliant because she successfully wrote an ill-thought out series and knew her target audience well enough to sell to them. She spent very little effort and good huge rewards for that effort. Small risk, big reward…that equals good business.
Beyond that however, spot on. The books aren’t literature, they’re fan fiction. Albeit, author written fanfic.
I actually liked Twilight (though I’ve only read the first book), but I still agree with everything on this list… lol It was an entertaining read, but in no way was it the literary masterpiece that the Twihards think it is.
On that note, WTF to all the comments?? Jeez, some of these posters are just making themselves sound exactly as ridiculous as they’ve been accused of being.
i hate twilight.
Haha. I guess you’re right about some Twilight fans not being able to spell or understand that you’re stating your opinion. If you’re actually offended by reading this list (which I think is pretty funny and some of the reasons are legitimate), you’re digging your own hole. You make all Twilight fans look like the fat kids from high school who didn’t have any friends. Like Meyer.
So what, if the list is stupid?
And P.S. It’s not difficult to write a book if you know your target audience and have an editor. You people are a disgrace to the halfway literate portion of the human race.
1-8
10-29
35-36
40
43
49-50
53-57
59-61
69
88
94
so basically i give you 45 reasons to hate twilight the others are either stupid or repeats no offence meant
I think that the list is amazing and hysterical. I only read page 2, thanks to StumbleUpon, but most people don’t understand that the basics of this was stuff nerds like us understand. T. Pain being on a boat is from an SNL Digital Short. Chuck Norris. Well, that sells itself. The fact that the majority of those defending a poorly written series, are choosing to ignore the bits and pieces they do understand:
If someone writes about your poor grammar, stating something that you would most likely deny if guilty, you absolutely do not fight back with PROOF that it is a fact. All of the Twilight fans I know have HORRIBLE grammar and use chat speak on a daily basis, so thanks for proving that with your stupidity. Not the author, the obnoxious fan girls, which includes children, teens, and adults alike.
Another factor that annoys me about the defenders, is that they don’t seem to understand that it is not necessary to post PARAGRAPHS of false reasoning. So maybe the reasons that the author gives are a bit far-fetched, but most of them are entirely true and cannot be denied. Stephanie Meyer has really nothing to be proud of except for the fact that a) She has tons of money and b) The money comes from a mob of rabid groupies that probably stalk her. Oh wait, NOT a plus.
I’ll leave it all at that, because I know that I will probably be tracked down by said mob, and have my head bitten off for the mere fact that, the people against Twilight have the best intentions and reasoning. Even if I DID like Twilight, I would only admit that it is a funny and correct list.
xoxo Meg
I would respect this list so much more if YOU had actually used correct grammar and spelling and did not leave words out.
you people all need to get a life
By swearing, acting obnoxious or stating rude comments against the author of the blog, one reinforces the author’s ideas. If you enjoy the Twilight series, fine. Acting as if a puppy was just shot and eaten in front of you when someone criticizes Twilight diminishes your credibility.
The Internet does allow for posting ones ideas freely and thus the author, all the commenters, and even myself may post what we wish. The author of the list has every right to post it. If people dislike the list, they are not required to read it on the hour every hour. They may offer a dissenting opinion however they wish. A dissenting opinion that is poorly phrased may not be useful.
In conclusion this argument has gone on ad nauseam.
This list could’ve been great had you only used proper grammar and spelling… BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR CONTRACTIONS! Also, avoid repeating things MORE THAN TWICE! It starts to become very annoying.
must admit reading twilight made me appreciate Harry Potter and JK Rowling much more as a writer. I actually thought I was reading a bad fanfiction when I read twilight online. Twilight is seriously just an empty, empty series. The only characters worth anything are Jasper and Jacob but Meyer being the crappy writer she is, doesn’t realise this and relegates them to the dark.
Hey wow, everyone totally has to comment even if they don’t have anything to say… wait… oh damnit all.
Haha I actually like the Twilight series, but I thought this was hilarious! It’s all so true. Those fan girls are insane.
I agree with most of your points, and did, in fact, find the Twilight books predictable with little to no character development for the truly interesting characters. However, inexplicably, I love the series. I have read all four books several times and seen the movie twice. I am doubly embarrassed by this fact because I am not a mindless tweener fan girl – I am actually a married adult female, and have no known mental disorders. I explained to my husband that these books are like empty calories for my brain.
Thank you for that! Twilight is a disgrace to the human population. I read the books, and im deeply ashamed of that.
This make me smile, even laugh a little. And yes I am I huge Twilight fan. Own all the books, bought the movie, and went to a 12 o’clock showing of the movie. The books were far better than the movie was, the movie was a way to different. In my point-of-view the books were really good. I’ve read all kinds of literature but that doesn’t change the fact that I like Twilight. And I agree that Meyer was eh-okay on her writing, but you have to keep this is mind- this was her first book ever, and it all started with a creepy dream she had. Stephen King has written over 40 books with that he cannot judge an amateur writer. Anywho- Being a teenager, I can say that girls are head
over heals for Edward because Meyer makes glittered men who watch you at night and is over protective sound damn sexy.
And to the people who is totally bashing on Twilight, calm down. You’re just as bad as the people who are far too protective over Twilight.
Oh, I also have no idea how many novels SK has written, I read only five so I guessed.. I goggled it and it turned out to be a lot more. Sorry Stephen King fans.
So my friend sent me the link to this. I took the time to read it and found out two things: 1. Most of the reasons are repeated.. several times and 2. The Chuck Norris joke was absolutely ridiculous. Honestly, it was a little funny, but a complete waste of your time. If you hated Twilight (and the rest of the saga), why did you take the time to put all the reasons down when you could simply have said “The books suck.”?
P.S. I loved the books.
To all the stupid people making idiotic comments who are most likely under the age of twelve: You are just proving the author’s point. SHUT UP…..
Author: You are completely correct. Harry Potter does PWN…..
Yes the book and movie is tripe…and should be banned for sheer stupidity.
This is amazing. It made my life.
83. The only reason I kept on reading was to see if Bella could redeem herself by getting over him.
That and I wanted to see who’d die first, Edward or Bella. Neither unfortunately.
apparently, it was a girl who posted this is a girl. sorry again for referring to you as the dude gender.
When I read #9, I just instantly thought to myself:
“Good God, this guy’s right!”
One of the better “why twilight sucks” lists I have seen on the net.
(You’re right, Chuck Norris COULD beat the living hell out of Edward in an instant.)
if you have enough time to post this…you obviously have no life which means you are right on par with those who read and/or are obsessed with the twilight series..
The creator of the list never mentioned Twilight fans as to having no life, nor mentioning that the creator had a life.
Honestly, I don’t think your list was very well-presented, and you repeated a lot of the same points more than once… Perhaps that was for effect.
I wasn’t impressed with Twilight, but I can see why teenage girls would like it.
Each to their own.
So, I was totally drawn into Twilight and read the series obsessively, and since I’m an English teacher the entire time I kept telling myself, “This writing really is god awful.” And it really is. Painfully god awful. But, I still went to see the movie, which was horribly done. I don’t know why the story still draws me in, I think I’m just delusional. But anyway, I just wanted to comment because I actually really enjoyed this list, particularly 69, 75, 80 and 81.
Everyone just calm down, that woman made a boatload of money and Twilight will still go on even if people hate it. Basically, the world will not end just because people don’t agree with you
Ok so I read the first book all the way through. My friend recommended it to me and told me it was “the best book he’d ever read.” So I gave it a shot. I got about halfway through it (dragging my ass the whole way through) and asked my friend how in the world he could think this was the best book ever. He swore to me that the last few chapters made it worth it. So I kept reading….and reading…and reading. Eventually I got through the entire book, and was still not understanding what was so great about it.
I understand the appeal to the specific audience it was written for, pre- teens to late teens, primarily girls. I’m totally cool with people enjoying the book, to each their own and whatnot. What I still have trouble understanding is how it got to be so rediculously popular so quick. I mean seriously, my friend who recommended it to me was, at the time, a senior in high school who would never read a book out of pure enjoyment if his life depended on it (I know this because he told me). So my main gripe with this book is that I have no idea why people such as my friend, and hundreds of people like my friend, who have never taken to reading any books ever had suddenly become so obsessed with these books… it just makes no sense to me.
And as far as it being good literature, people who think that were probably dropped on their head as a child….repeatedly…
personally I love the books, but I still think this is great. And all the obsessive fans get on my nerves too. We’re not all like that guys.
what I really don’t get though is why this book becoming popular has turned into world war 3. ITS JUST A BOOK. CALM DOWN. I don’t care if your part of the obsessive group or pissed off group but would everyone get over it?! It’s just a book! and you guys realize that the more you complain about it, the more known you make it, and that makes this go on longer, right?
i dont know what it is but i actually like the series although i cant help agree with everything on this list. i especially feel that the writing is bad, upon first reading it i thought “this sounds like a twelve year old wrote it” but yet i still like the books….
You forgot to mention that sparkling vampires would make Bram Stoker spin in his grave like a top.
While the Twilight books are awful and I worry about the intelligence of anyone who enjoys them; this is probably the worst written topic on the subject.
Sarah Rebecca actually made more grammatical errors in her list than the writer of Twilight did in the same amount of character duration in her first book.
Furthermore Sarah’s are far worse because she appears to be on a high horse; which I’m sure is buckling under her immense wit.
*insert eye-roll”
Haha, I love Twilight but I still have to agree with some of the stuff you wrote. It also helps me not to be angry because it was so funny!
So sad, so true.
I think that it is silly that you spent this much time dwelling on something that you don’t even like. 95 reasons is a bit excessive.
Also, yes a lot of twilight fans are ridiculous 13 year old girls, but I can assure you i am older and not a “rabid fan” who thinks I have vampire powers. Please do not put all of twilight’s fans into such a terrible category. The books are good, and I enjoyed reading them. I did not see the movie and I do not think the books are the best pieces of literature out there, but I do appreciate them for what they are and I think people are too judgmental for their own good.
Edward Cullen was a huffelpuff.
Funny I feel this is based more on the movie than the book!!!!!
I agree with all the people stating that your reasoning is pathetic. Firstly, Twilight is a FICTITIOUS book; therefore, things are obviously going to be abstract and unrealistic.
Meyer was trying to move AWAY from the idea of the conventional vampire, hence the whole no fangs thing. Having another typical vampire story would be, as you said “predictable and boring.”
If you’re going to state that Twilight sucks, you might as well state that Harry Potter sucks, because they’re both about completely unfathomable things that little girls dream about.
“Vampires can’t get people pregnant! SPOILER.” -I reiterate my point: it’s fictitious.
Get over yourself.. I understand that you’re jealous of the success of this book, but next time you want to criticise the author’s writing skills, you should probably keep in mind that this is her FIRST novel, and she must be good if the book has been this successful.
I haven’t read Twilight. But girls who like Twilight move onto Anne Rice and then Dracula and then classic horror. Pre-pubescent girls are reading- I can’t complain. Their taste can improve with age.
I read the first book long before the craze began. It was a decent book. It sucked me in and made me want to find out what will happen. So I read all 4 books and then realized that nothing happens. Really. Not enough action for the thousands of pages read.
I also wholeheartedly agree that the Bella-Edward relationship should not be viewed as a model relationship. When I learned about the 12-year-old girls who love this book, I worried about what society will view as a healthy relationship in 10 years when these young girls are beginning their adult lives. Scary.
I am a guy that loves Twilight. I am not gay. I don’t like it for the whole sparkly vampire crap aspect of it. I like it for the storyline and the characters (i.e. Carlisle, Alice, Jasper).
You have the worst reasons in the world for why Twilight sucks. Take #94 for instance….”It’s offensive to the male and female race and just the entire race as a whole.” Since when are male and female RACES? I’m pretty sure those are genders.
Also, since when is Bella the perfect character? Bella is clumsy, plain, and extremely pale. I’ve always thought that perfect women characters were beautiful and graceful.
You fail at life. Period.
Practice what you preach and get a life. How much time did you spend writing these AND reading the book? Get a job.
I might have missed it in the comments, but otherwise I’m surprised that many of Twilight’s flaws mentioned here in the list and in the comments are being blamed on the author. An author’s job is to write a good story, yes (and by good I mean by definition, not in one’s opinion).
But there is so much more to the process once a writer has a book deal. Writing a book, as any author will tell you, is a collaborative effort. Which means it’s not solely the author who’s to blame if a book is less than satisfactory. As a copyeditor, it’s my job to ensure an author looks his or her best. Countless professionals read a book once a deal’s been signed. If there is anyone to blame for plot holes, grammatical errors, and poor character development, and any other inconsistencies or inaccuracies, ultimately that should be the publisher.
Aside from the author, who’s main goal is really only to tell a marketable story, the editors, copyeditors, proofreaders, and the like — who are paid to ferret out anything that make the book and author and publisher lose credibility and who should be making suggestions to the author so he or she can produce a well-crafted story — are responsible for putting out good-quality fiction, regardless of whether it’s by Meyer or King.
Ultimately, however, if the main objective of a publisher is the bottom line, which it is, kudos to Little, Brown for recognizing a marketable story and series when they saw one and for advertising it to obvious great effect.
Kudos as well to Meyer for following a dream (most of all) and for creating characters and situations that, while fantastical and flawed, even sometimes irritatingly so or annoyingly limited in emotional range, yet allowed millions to relate, which is a main reason that many, including me, liked the books in spite of recognizing amateur writing. While it’s true Meyer’s writing leaves something to be desired, especially in a technical sense, she *can* and likely will get better with practice. And seeing as publishers usually demand more from a successful author, she’ll be getting lots of that. We just have to give her some room, some freedom to develop her own style and tell her own stories.
#89 was the best reason for me to hate Twilight.
Well, Interesting list of thoughts you have for a book that has gotten so many books sold and them also turning into movies. I think everyone has a right to thier opion. I’ve read the books but I’m not going to share what I thought of them. I just wanted to say that you are allowed to share what you think, because it was published and I tthink you should have realized that you were going to get a lot of comments too.
Thank you so much for this! Twilight makes one realize just how sad our society has become in regards to literature. I agree with every point you made, but have one more to add:
95.) Stephanie Meyer can’t write; therefore, there are no real climactic moments in any of the books. Every time she begins to build one, it just stops.
This is hilarious, this list has so many good points, and the comments are great as well
I read the books and I liked them a lot, but it doesn’t mean I don’t realize that meyer sucks at writing, and that I need to bash someone who’s only pointing out the obvious as well as poking fun at the books
I don’t understand why so many people are upset about this, if you love the books so much, why are you wasting time reading a hate list about them?
I don’t care, one way or another, how anyone feels about Twilight. However, if you have the gall to call someone out on their grammatical errors you had better re-read what you type. People in glass houses should not cast stones.
ok people. just an effing book, get over yourselves.
Haha, yes, I have to admit, I fell into the Twilight obsession around September of last year. And now I totally regret it. God, I even bought a shirt. How lame was that?
After reading this, I really am ashamed that I had fallen so in love with the series. It wasn’t… what I expected it to be when I first read it. But the hype was all around me, and I joined in with the obsession. All the fan girls were sighing about how they’ll never get their own Edward — and my best friend was telling me every single day: “This is the 15th time reading this book!” very excitedly, I may add.
The only thing I kind of like about this book is Taylor Lautner. But not really. And he’s not even in the book. He’s in the movie.
God, I’m retarded.
No offense, but I have found the commentary following to be much more entertaining than the list itself. Yes, it is a list. Yes, it is some one’s opinions. It is a book. You either like it or hate it. Books were meant for enjoyment. If you don’t like it, don’t read it and forget about it. It is a popular series, but that doesn’t do anything but make people read it and buy it. I think it wrong to shove your own opinions on other people. So live and let live I say. Concentrate on other, more important things. If some one wants to bad mouth a book, let them.
I know the books are incredibly bad, but they’re quite entertaining.
I like Twilight, but not like a tween likes Twilight.
They’re tweens! What do you expect? We were all delusional at 13. Also, like most fads, this too will die out. As soon as all the movies are made these tweens will be teens and will have moved on to other things.
I appreciate someone who is honest. Personally, I really liked the series, but I am not a “crazed teenage girl” who obsesses over the mere mention of Edward or any of the other characters. I am 26 years old and enjoy fiction stories. I loved reading your list and found most of the reasons you hate Twilight amusing. The rest I have heard before, so pardon the lack of humor on my part for them. I do have a comment on one of your reasons in particular, #77. I totally thought the same thing and if thought about more deeply by fellow Twilight readers, it is most disturbing in a real-life sense. You don’t like it, sue me. I am not dissing the series, just stating an obvious, and hysterical fact.
Almost every single person I know is in love with the series, except me. Thanks for confirming I’m not the only one.
Sorry, but I loved the movie. Have not read the books. I honestly was not interested in Twilight at all until I rented it on PPV this weekend. I thought that it would be a silly vampire teen movie. But, I was so surprised. I personally loved the fact that it wasn’t just a blood and guts vampire vs. garlic, stakes, and holy water movie. It had a plot behind the vampire aspect. It was about love from different worlds, caring more about someone else than yourself, inner struggle, choice and consequence, etc…
Also, one of your c/o was about the sex aspect. What is wrong with taking a cult classic like vampires and making them moral. Why do you think they only feed on animals. She is creating an emotional side to the vampire character that I enjoy much better than …”oh I am going to suck your blood and make you one of my concubines.”
You’re completely entitled to your opinion, but if you REALLY hate Twilight that much, why waste your time making a list about it? Doesn’t make sense.
First off, total kudos to the author of the list for making this. I’m 100% sure you knew you were going to have hateful death threats from teenage girls everywhere, but you still made it. Way to be. Secondly it was funny, and from what i’ve heard of the people raving about how incredible the book is, the list is pretty freaking accurate.
Now that that is out of the way.
Everybody quit freaking taking everything so freaking personally! Did you write the books? i didn’t think so. Don’t be so offended when someone doesn’t like it. You like the book, great for you, you’re allowed to think its an excellent piece of American literature if you want. BUT! and that is VITALLY important word…. but, EVERYONE CAN THINK/SAY/BASH/APPRECIATE/SLAM anything they want to. It’s called opinion, it’s called personal preference. Don’t threaten to kill someone because they don’t appreciate a book that you pray to.
All I want to get across. Is stop being so freaking angry, its a book some people will hate it, some will love it. Why can’t everyone just respect that. Try saying what you think from a neutral standpoint instead of attacking someone for what they think.
Twilight fans. You’re incredible, keep loving it.
Anti-Twilight, try not to get too upset at those who love it, maybe someday they’ll learn. We can only hope.
Long live Harry Potter
I find it very interesting that you mention feminism and Martin Luther… reasons 14 and 92… in some attempt to prove your point. Great idea to pair someone who believes that women are inferior to men with the ideals of feminism! Now, lets get one thing straight… your opinions are legitimate and I understand that they are shared by many people the world over, but when you insult my intelligence (because I am, of course, a Twilight fan) you are overstepping your bounds. The next time that you decide to degrade thousands of people based on their personal preferences, try to make sure that your arguments are a bit more stable, k? Otherwise, your really only insulting yourself
I’m so glad that I came back to read the comments left after my own. I also find it hilarious that six new comments had been posted since coming back in rereading -this thread has really taken off.
I’m pleased that most (note MOST) of the mindless Twilight Edward-or-death! supporters have gone away and the newer posters in support of the book have included reasons not based on fallacies.
Thank you, non-fangirl groupie ‘tards. I support your informed enjoyment of the useless yet (as I hear) captivating fluff that is this book series.
Peace, love, and literature!
I’m perturbed that there is so much passion poured into the Twilight debate when (often) those same people are apathetic about voting, conservationism, equal rights for genders, races, and sexualities, and all manner of things that actually affect their lives.
If anyone tries to compare Twilight to Harry Potter they are stupid. Harry Potter had a plot, Twilight is the ravings of a middle aged woman writing out her sexual fantasies that’ll never come true. I’m not trying to make fun of anyone for reading the series, they’re meant for entertainment but people take it too far in trying to say Stephanie Meyers has talent. That’s just not true.
I’m seeing books like this and others become popular with young people and don’t understand why it is so. First it was Harry Potter which was a good series in its own right. Not the best book or books I’ve ever read but still not bad really by any standard. What I really don’t get is why young people don’t really search for a good book. It isn’t that hard and you don’t really lose anything by looking. While I was waiting for Harry Potter series to finish I found and started reading books by a T.A. Baron who put a seemingly masterful twist on the story of Merlin and his life. I highly recommend it to any Harry Potter fan. Right now I’ve gotten into a combination of stark realism and fantasy in “The Black Company” which is about a band of free soldiers or mercenary company
You idiots Twilight is a rip of Anita Blake for little girls who don’t get real relationships. Want Vampires who are sexy and real MEN – Try a decent author. There’s hundreds out there from Christine Feehan to Laurell K Hamilton. It is creepy that this guy is hanging out for a 16 year old not even an adult. And people age of consent in Oregon AND Washington is 17 so it isn’t even legal.
Trust me, PacNW weather isn’t constant enough that they could wander in the daylight. And Vampires are Night Creatures. Read your Stoker and Palidori for Godess’s sake
I think it’s good to hate things that suck. Publicly and loudly.
It’s called quality control, and it’s a behavior exhibited by people who don’t want their world to suck.
Not a fan of the books by any means, I think the characters are without fail vapid and weak. However, I don’t really think it’s doing any kids long-term harm. I can’t seriously see any sane 30yr old women saving themselves for a vampire (although this is the internet, so who knows).
At least they get kids reading, never a bad thing. And frankly, I’m happy it’s not sexual. To whoever said they didn’t remember Anne Rice novels having substantial sex scenes, that’s quite wrong. There are a number of them, and her books in general are highly eroticized. I read them at 13 and honestly, I’d be happier having my kids read less graphic stuff at that age. Since the book is aimed at young to mid-teens, it seems right.
wow thats some hell of a good reason
won’t be picking up that book
I liked Twilight before the hype.
I still like it, but it is quite simple and easy to make fun of.
It’s a good read when you don’t want to really think, or be challenged.
@JB you’re so right.
And, well, Romeo and Juliet were teenagers and have fallen in love out of nothing. I don’t think this is a problem. LOL
I dont need say antything else… you say everything what I need… Twilight (or Crepusculo here) its the worse book in the world… and more.. I hear some dumb fan talk “twilight its better than Romeo and Juliet” SHUT UP!
love it!
You do make some valid points here, and I completely respect your right to post your opinion on the web (those fangirlies are just CRAZY).
I would just like to point out that it is possible to enjoy reading Twilight without becoming a fangirl, that isn’t a black & white situation.
That being said, I think you should give the book series credit, because they do have an escapest quality to them, its easy to get lost in the story. Also, if you wanted realistic characters/events… read non-fiction books… this is fiction, therefore, it doesn’t have to be “real,” just imaginative.
This absolutely made my day. Epic kudos.
The only reason I disagree with is the comment about Vampire Baseball. Other then that, this gave me a chuckle.
To this comment “…That being said, I think you should give the book series credit, because they do have an escapest quality to them, its easy to get lost in the story. Also, if you wanted realistic characters/events… read non-fiction books… this is fiction, therefore, it doesn’t have to be “real,” just imaginative.”
It’s pretty sad when you have to escape into the mind of a boring teenage girl that has no personality and her only passion is to screw an ancient vampire.
Also, for all those who beleive that Twilight is better the Harry potter, PUHLEASE. Meyers and Rowling shouldn’t even be in the same category. Rowling wrote on napkins. It takes serious dedication to do that. Plus, she has trunks full of development on every character that people will never know about. Every single one. She even has Dean Thomas’s full bockground written down somewhere. You can’t tell me that Ms. Meyers has the full background of Mike hidden somewhere when all she focused on ever was Edward and Bella.
I could go on forever, but I’ll spare the Twilight fans the heart attack.
=)
The perturbing thing I found with the Twilight ’series’ is this:
Book One “Twilight” was tolerably written, and not a bad concept. I might finish that by saying this book on its own would have quietly served as a series without my explicit complaint.
Unfortunately the writing grew progressively worse and more convoluted as they wore on. It would stand to a logical form of reason that they should have gotten better, however only the first book had any clear inspiration or plan at all. Simply put: New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn felt as if they were written to cash in on the first books hype.
As for inspired writing, read the classic John Milton book Paradise Lost. Powerfully poetic imagery, beautiful flow, and a fine manner of storytelling. Just don’t read the sequel, I can’t even remember the name, what I do remember was forcing myself to complete the book trying to understand why Milton ever allowed it to print. Anyways, that’s as far as I go.
Yes, I am aware of my own grammatical errors. Could have been worse, I read that overblown ego trip “A Million Little Pieces” by James Frey once too. For some reason I thought he was going to choke up a volkswagon piece by piece before the end…
Just my opinion mind you, and as for Stephen King he has a few worthy reads, but a lot of crap as well. Never take someones opinion of how terrible something is; You will never appreciate how terrifying a 350 pound woman in leather pants is until you turn and look yourself. Twilight is only a 300 pound lady in spandex
#66 is absolutely histarical, but yet competely true
dammit, this made me want to read Harry Potter again.
BTW, awesome list. Made me chuckle. It was that horrific “can’t stop even though I want to” sort of thing that made me read all 4 books. It’s good fantasy fluff for when the estrogen spikes and you need girly crap… but other than that, it’s bad. Very bad.
I bought the movie not really that good either. Parts were drug out to much and other parts should of been aded.
I hope you don’t mind me taking a copy of this to my creative writing class so that I might educate on how NOT to write a book.
Lol ‘T. Pain would totally win Bella’s heart and beat up Edward because he’s on a boat.’ you’re so right, i can’t think of a better reason then that, of apart from Chuck Norris [May he protect us] I agree a pathetic attempt at literature i personally wonder how these got published. And may i point out that Harry Potter is also crap and her writing style stinks, and Twilight is wore then that, you want a good book about Twilight? Get the Night watch by Sergie Lukvenyenko that man is a true genius
Wow! Funny! So much attention to Twilight–the author must’ve done something right–even if it wasn’t how it was written, I guess the story plot (or lack thereof…) — whatever, teens and other folks enjoyed.
It’s not the first movie that millions love and hate and certainly won’t be the last–enuff said!
I couldn’t even finish the first chapter of the first book, and I rarely put down a book even if I don’t like it. This list made my week, you have no idea.
And I hate that people compare it to Harry Potter. Harry Potter is well written and actually has a lot of depth to it. Twilight is flat and seriously boring.
We have the same experience, LoDub…I tried to read Twilight because my girlfriend was and still is very engaged to it. Out of curiousity, I tried to read it. But then, as a teacher of writing, I found the works of my students (3rd year high school students in the Philippines are only 15 years old) to be of better quality than Twilight. So, I did not even attempt to finish the first chapter. Likewise, when my girlfriend pulled me, literally, to watched the movie, I just snoozed my way out until the part where they played “the vampire baseball”
I actually liked the book, it was a fun read cause you did not have to think about … anything but i also think that your list was funny!!
You sit here and talk bad about Twilight and the Twilight fans which means you have no life. You say that the fans can have their opinions but yet you continually tell people not to read the book. That is very childish of you in my opinion and I am a Twilight fan and I can use proper grammar and English.
I read the whole series and I don’t plan on ever picking up the books again. I watched the movie in hopes that there might be more characterization, (at least we would know what Edward actually looked like, besides you know, wonderful) only to discover there was less. My favorite was 86.
After this I don’t will read this literature piece.
Twilight was a horribly written series and yes I read all four of them. Had to see if they got any better. The movie, OMG, was the worst thing I have ever seen. I love vampire movies. This was not a vampire movie. I was bored to tears. I should have known, after all, I read the book.
Loved your list.
MARRY ME.
Twilight blows balls. These reasons made me lol.
Honestly i could school smeyer at writing in my sleep, no lie.
i dont get why people like twillight, it sucks in everyway.
haha.
i read the twilight series and thought it was exactly what i expected it to be. MADE FOR TEEN GIRLS.
you dont go to a chick flick and expect it to be on the same level as a academy award winning drama.
teen girls are also obsessed over hannah montana and zac efron. I dont see anyone ripping them apart. Because they are as corny as the audience they are intended for, teen girls.
all of you obsessing over how bad twilight sucks are just as pathetic as all the girls that think twilight is the best book ever.
the movie however… THAT you can bash as much as you like. i watched a bootleg version online and couldnt even make it through the whole thing.
I love this list. It is all so true.
This is my theory:
You see, Twilight isn’t well written at all. Plus, I waited all 4 books for a plot to arise, and it never did. But here’s the thing; it’s the first book anybody’s read. THAT’S why it’s so popular. Girls who have never read anything else read Twilight and fall in love with it, but what they don’t realize is that it’s not Edward they’re in love with, it’s reading. They don’t understand that there are so many books out there that are much better than Twilight, because they’ve never read them.
I’ve read them, and they’re not that amazing.
But the reason I tolerated them was because they were an easy read, and I think Twilight’s a pretty love story. Not because they were well-written, in any sense.
wow you’re as right as crap. very entertaining, as well.
It’s a good story, but it could have been written so much better by someone else. Even in saying that, some of your points are stupid and have no real basis. I agree that Bella has no personality in the movie, but the book does get a little deeper into her character. Either way, what is so wrong with letting teenagers just enjoy the books for what they are? At least they are reading. The books really aren’t challenging, but they can pose as a doorway to other literature in a world where reading literature is becoming scarce with young people. I applaud anyone who tries to aid in the intellectual development of the next generation, even if they don’t meet up to the standards that others hold them to.
Seriously, i know that wasn’t the one of the best things I’ve ever read, but get over yourself. Why would you ever waste your time to write this about how much you hate the book?
Forget what people say this was really nice and i agree with the whole thing
Everyone is free to have their own opinion; and do let anyone take that away from you. Some areas were repeat with a change of wording. I enjoyed the list.
If you’re going to write 95 reasons on why you hate a book, then next time you get butthurt and write a review, make sure you actually write 95 different reasons. Repeating something over and over again makes you look ignorant. Some people like the book, and some people don’t, GET OVER IT.
all im saying to everyone is that this something funny posted on the internet, read it and move on, dont insult it or over analyze it, just do as you would if they were making fun of something on family guy
66… HAHAHAHA
okay, I respect your opinion on the book and all, but half of the 95 reasons you’ve so kindly listed, say the same reason over again just in a different way, and half of what you said has nothing to do with twilight at all, i mean where does T-Pain come into all of this?
however i do agree with some of the points made above,
but saying you shouldnt read it just because “its stupid” is rediculous. Thats YOUR opinion. There’s no facts that prove “its stupid”, and by giving this as a reason not to read the book, it just makes you look like a dumbass, and not to mention it makes you look really ignorant.
You forgot to mention the annoying filler junk there was, like the side stuff about bella’s other friends (I guess you could call them friends?) is really pointless and boring just because no relationships ever develop between her and her normal “friends”. It’s like when you have to write a 600 word essay and only write 450 words, so you go through and change words like “can’t” to “can not” and add extra “the”’s and “it”’s.
Oh yeah and I wish I had a dollar for every time she overused the word “grimaced”.
But I mean I did find the books incredibly entertaining to read, I just wish it was written better, perhaps by a different writer. Some of the ideas are good. It’s a fun, very simple read- but is nowhere near being in the same league as Harry Potter. It’s too bad, the story had some potential.
Stop saying ‘GET OVER IT’
She is trying to make people ‘GET OVER’ TWILIGHT.
CBF reading them all right now but I’m getting the feeling this is anti therefore it’s awesome already.
BTW; calling people names does not make you look smart, it makes you look like a moron, Twilighters, mmkay.
Haha! YES! I’m not going to lie, I was cracking up the entire time I was reading this. Dear lord that was funny. I think I might’ve cried a little. And might need sleep. Regardless, great work!
Reason number 66 made me LOL hard.
i hate Twilight like balls
Yes! : )
Yes the books are terrible. However, on your comment about Anne Rice, there is no sex at all in any of The Vampire Chronicles. That being said The Vampire Chronicles are my favorite books ever.
Also, totally agree with you about the character names thing. She completely stole the character Laurent from Rice.
I agree completely, this new teenage girl cult that Twilight has brought up is getting on my nerves.
i watched the movie. for some reason there are a whole lot of college aged women who think edward is hot, so they watch the movie, and though the book was amazing.
i wanted to puke watching the damn thing. i laughed hysterically when i saw his sparkling skin. he needs a haircut. and if he wasnt in twilight, the guy playing him would be looked at like a pale, pasty, emotionally disturbed kid on the street and most women would want to be with him. the plot was pathetic. there is only so much filler that can be used, and when there is no character development, its a waste of resources. there is absolutely nothing that calls out romance in this book. just whiny teenagers (even though one is over 100 years old) caught in a puppy love, and a cliche fetish thrown in. of course, saying this to my buddy in front of my gf almost got me crucified…
If the book is so undeserving of the reviewer’s attention, why is it getting so much of the reviewer’s attention? I think the notion that Twilight is ineptly written is fabricated–it springs from resentment of the success the series has enjoyed. If one really thought the book was such dreck, one could not have gotten past page one and acquired enough knowledge of the characters and story to come up with the phoney-baloney litany of laments.
The reason why Bella is portraid as full of flaws, is because the book is written from her point of view- and she has a low self esteem. And as far as Edward being too perfect goes, that’s totally wrong. He has such a low self esteem, he has lived alone for hundreds of years, he’s oldfashioned, and over-protective and stupid at times. You really don’t seem to underdstand that just because both of the characters look good, doesn’t mean that they’re not perfect. If you’re such a fan of litterature as you seem to be, you should read the books yourself, and create your own image of Twilight. I think you might be surprised. Well, no matter what there will always be more people that love Twilight than the people who hates it. I don’t have a problem with those who just doesn’t read it because they don’t think they would find it interesting, but I just think it’s embarresing that you seriously use your spare time to write a list of 95 reasons why you hate Twilight. Do something better with your time, write a book.. Maybe it will be better than Twilight (ha!).
A few comments on the rest of the posts;
#16 – You obviously haven’t read all of the books to say this. Bella gets a better self-esteem, she grows up a lot, she apreciates her life better. Edward also gets a better self-esteem, he learns to loosen up a little, he realises that he isn’t destroying Bellas life. Jacob grows up, and realises that he’d rather have Bella as his friend than to not have her in his life at all. And other characters also develop a lot.
#25 The vampires in Twilight don’t have fangs. This isn’t dracula.
#27 Ofcourse she use the word ’said’ many times in the book. Stupid.
#31 What abour Aro, Carlile, Shioban, Laurent, Quil, Embry, Athenodora, Kachiri, Zafrini, Eleazar & Alistair? Are those names too normal aswell?
#32 Oh, and what was the name of the vampire you knew, again?
#39 Stephenies didn’t expect that 10 year olds would read the book when she wrote it. It’s not like she can forbid them to read it or anything.
Btw, I love Harry Potter as well- but, sorry to say this, IT HAS FLAWS TOO!
In the end, I’m just glad that I’m not you. And that I’d rather use 15 minutes defending something I love, rather than using 2 hours working against A BOOK that I hate. Really, if it was environmental damage or animal cruelty that you were finding 95 reasons to hate I would be aplauding – but a book. It’s embarresing. And you know it too.
(PS: If there’s any spelling mistakes, it’s not because I’m unintelligent, it’s because english isn’t my first language.)
66. T. Pain would totally win Bella’s heart and beat up Edward because he’s on a boat.
HELL YEAH!
haha
First of all, yes, I am a fan of Twilight, but not because I think it’s a great book/ series. I like the originality of it and the way she’s put in aspects and plot twists that most people wouldn’t normally associate with the vampire/ werewolf myths.
That said, I do agree with parts of your list, but I have a couple major problems with it. Firstly, ‘breaking rules made by more esteemed authors’? The whole point of fiction is that you create your own rules. Just because Anne Rice or Bram Stoker came up with particular rules that applied to their characters, and authors since have stuck by them, doesn’t mean they *have* to be followed. There’s a reason we don’t know what a vampire exactly looks like: it doesn’t exist. So who’s to say a vampire couldn’t sparkle? Just because it’s not likely doesn’t mean Meyer can’t make up her own rules for her own books.
And secondly? ‘Edward is hot’, ‘Bella’s clumsy’, ‘we get the point’. Let me echo your own statement. We get the point. I have no doubt that if you hadn’t repeated the same thing over and over time after time, this list probably would’ve been half the length it is.
it reminds me of the 95 theses’ by martin luther haha
good job.
thank you you are a god in my eyes i saw the the movie with my friends and the only part i enjoyed was when bella almost died and when they blamed her injures on a flight of stairs made my day
Without having read the novels or seen the movie as of yet, I can only say that the hype and following is getting on my nerves – not the actual story or author (yet). My oldest daughter went with friends to the movie and she says she doesn’t see what everyone is all hyped up about.
I’ve heard that both girls AND boys get into these books. Perhaps they are easy reads? I am going to read them eventually just to find out what it’s all about.
The review started out ok – actually interested me (especially Stephen King’s comment, I’m a fan of his) but even halfway down the list it started becoming more of a bashing than a review. Had it stayed more objective, I think it would have been a decent review, albeit a bit one-sided.
technically you only wrong 94 reasons why you hate it.
I don’t have any plans on reading the Twilight books or watching the movie. I think it’s horrible, everyone is obsessed with it. But this is harsh.
wow get a life. if you hate the books so much why did you read them?
stfu be quiet
OMG
Twilight is teh bestestset book ever! get over it! ur just jealous!
Ohkay, well I did read the series, and I admit, I liked it at first. Well I went back to reread the first book before I saw the movie, and I picked out a lot of flaws in Meyer’s writing. A lot of these do make sense, althought the T.Pain one threw me off a bit. xD I have friends that are like number 78, and it does get incredibly irritating. I just don’t understand why people should bash someone for speaking their mind. I’m sure they wouldn’t like it if it happened to them. I thing everyone needs to just mature a little more. I enjoyed reading this list, it did make me laugh a little.
I hate these books.
And I think the worst part about them is the fact that from now on every time a new vampire book comes out girls will be like “They’re trying to copy Twilight.”
And if you read “Vampire Diaries” (which was written long before Twilight) they are very similar. I think Meyer might have copied it a bit.
I love #91!
So true, i agree it was a very poorly written series, but it had a nice overall idea. Meyer set her expectations high and failed to achieve them. the series could have been great had it been written by someone else lol. Jacob was my fav tho regardless of the creepy pedo thing… eh OH! and i don’t even know where to begin with he movie i cant believe i didn’t walk out, probably since i invested time into the series i guess. who ever it is that plays Bella acts about as good as Meyer writes… so theres my two bits
Add some reasons for why we hate the movie just as much:
1. 6 montages in an hour and a half long movie is a few too many.
2. In the scene in the forest their conversation goes along these lines:
“I want to kill you.”
“I love you.”
“I dream about drinking your blood.”
“You’re perfect.”
“I’m sparkly.”
“You’re beautiful.”
“I’m imagining breaking your neck right now.”
“It no matter.”
3. Kristen Stewart literally says “It no matter.”
4. The 8 minute scene in the hospital where Kristen Stewart hyperventilates and shouts out random sentence fragments over the prospect of her hot, seemingly mentally handicapped boyfriend leaving her.
5. The line “Hold on tight, Spidermonkey.”
6. The fact that other than Robert Pattinson, every other actor playing a vampire was somewhere between ugly and hideous.
7. It was the same as the book.
8. Jacob’s hairstyle.
9. Everything else.
I agree with you 100%. I was beginning to think I am the only person on the planet who is not spellbound by this series. I am reading through the third book right now, simply because when I start something, I am determined to finish, but all I can see is a co-dependent relationship, an incredibly possessive vampire, who would not be considered wonderful in real life. Edward would be scary, because it seems at any second he is going to explode with anger. The other thing is the fluff that is added into the book. The fact that he wants Bella to marry him first. What teenage girl would agree to marriage these days? Not many. It is like a school girl fantasy. The never ending love story, with all the things girls are supposed to want, but created far too over the top to be at all enjoyable.
hahahaha that was great… i love the twilight series but i can admit that was awesome… people that defend it that hardcore are nuts…
Hi there Sarah Rebecca, interesting write-up. There’s a lot of anger and indignation in here.
You know what, there’s just one last thing you need to do.
Write your own novel.
If you don’t get any harsh criticisms (like the one you just wrote), then I’ll be convinced you’re a better writer than Twilight’s author.
Have fun.
P.S: And oh, as you write this, the Twilight author is earning money left and right…while in contrast, this article is making quite a few cents (with thousands of page views of course).
I never watched it because I hate both Stephanie Meyers’ first and last names, and I think the girl on the front looks ugly and sick, and pathetic, and oh-so-dark, and Edwuard looks like a gay in a Phantom of the Opera mask. Also, I saw an interview with Stephanie, and she totally looks like a burnt-out palm reader.
Oh, and a human falling in love with a vampire? Let’s get serious here, unless we gonna go out an make a comedy of it. Which is something that could be debated.
Heheh! At this rate I will HAVE to read the damn thing, just to see what all this fuss and hype is about and if it is really the great crime against humanity that so many people say it is. Fortunately I have better things to do – and read!
That said though – from what you say, this seems like a continuation of the classic fantasy idea of perfection – ‘I’m perfect, I want to meet someone beautiful beyond everything’ – which dates back as far as you care to look and maybe should be accepted as a part of humanity’s dreams. Like the superhero genre (until Allan Moore took it and made it interesting by giving the characters flaws) or the James Bond arena (until it wisely realised not to take itself too seriously), only transposed to the female side. We accept the silkily perfect Bond and the boneheaded superheroes fixing the world with their fists with a certain wry acknowledgement of their silliness and appreciation of the spot that they do touch on in our souls. So why should this Twilight be any different? Why should this fantasy world of young girls suddenly become a feminist issue? It is somewhat dumb to dream wistfully of being as suave and all-purpose as a Bond or as powerful and free as a caped crusader. And of course it is also dumb to expect nice Edwards to turn up and look after you, just as it is dumb to expect anyone to BE this grand glamorous Edward or whatever he is. And it strikes me as somewhat uninteresting (my worst criticism for it) to set a story within that sort of an interaction so unquestioningly. But it’s all a part of fantasy life in a way, which has always been at odds with reality. And always will be. Even back to the old days when the girls would dream of their handsome princes and the boys would muse happily about the graceful woodman’s daughters etc. And Twilight and all the rest are only going to be symptoms of that rather than causes. If people are so lost in their fantasies as to let Twilight rule their lives and lose touch with reality – if they cant tell the difference between this fantasy and the reality around them or if they can no longer accept the reality because of it – then they are probably lost anyway and doomed to unhappiness even without Twilight to help them along the road!
That said – it really doesn’t sound the most interesting book ever written! You want vampires, you want to look in stranger territories! Try Lucius Shepard’s ‘The Golden’ for a really unusual and interesting vampire novel.
Ok this kind of irritates me. Sure, all the people completely obsessed with this book who treat is like a bible annoy me too…doesn’t mean I deliberately slam the book just to spite them. I found the books quite entertaining, and I think you missed most of the point – it is a LOVE STORY. It is CLICHE. It is ROMANTIC. And yes – people sparkle. And as for all your comments on how they aren’t very good vampires, seriously how cliche is that if you are searching for all the cliche reasons that makes a make up creature exactly the same in every god damn story. By the way, many of your comments contradict each other. First you complain about the ‘lack of sex’. Then you complain about ‘drug references’ cause the audience is too young. Seriously. I’m pretty sure sex is worse then a few drug references. The point Meyer is trying to bring across is that love is possible despite all odds – which for the audience attended, is a quite normal moral in most tween books. If you like a story, feel free to tell us how great it is. If you don’t like it, no one really cares. If somebody wants to read these books, I doubt that your one bad post is going to outweigh the millions of positive ones out there. Oh, and isn’t good literature SUPPOSED to be about being different, and NOT following all the ’so called rules of writing’ you speak of? There are no rules of writing. That’s the same as saying there is a limit to imagination.
lmfao. This is brilliant. Thank you.
Well if you don’t like twilight, fine.
You don’t need to list down 95 reasons, coz it’s kinda unreasonable…
Some reasons lack “reason”, get it?
Why don’t you just feed your own imagination?
you need to get a life! dont you have anything better to do besides make fun of twilight? i love the books and im planning on watching the movie this summer! i am defending steffany meyer because shes a great writer how would you like it if you worked really hard on something and then people took some time and hated on it like this its just wrong i wish you would just let it go and move on with your lives why dont you go pick on Harry Potter for crying out loud its pretty much the same as twilight
This is a pretty cool list. Does get kinda repetitive though which is funny because you say the book is repetitive. But, i like it. It’s funny, has alot of good points. I agree with the whole cult aspect and how ridiculous people can be about these books but come on. The fact that you dedicated so much time to writing this is a win for all twilight fans. You took “x” amount of time not only reading the book, but writing this and asking random people about it when you could have actually enjoyed reading a good book or four. So it’s kinda dumb. Funny that you get actual threats over this though. Makes me laugh. But if people wouldn’t sit around all day writing things like this and wasting there time twilight would probably be forgotten by now. But since it’s not, enjoy this article. It’s fun.
Author, you’re an idiot. I will agree that Twilight is severely over-hyped, and that some things within the writing itself are annoying, and that the movie should NEVER have existed, but a lot also makes sense within the context of the books. If you’re going to say you have “95″ reasons that the books are bad, please actually have 95 reasons. This list was a bigger waste of time than the books.
P.S. I’m a male Twilight fan who is capable of spelling and punctuating my sentences correctly. Gasp.
You’re taking a love story way too seriously.
While I can agree with some of the points made in this list, I must say that it is rather repetitive and unnecessarily long. You criticize Stephanie Meyer’s writing style, but I don’t really see a difference between hers and yours. To be honest, at least she kept my attention for more than 30 seconds.
I must agree with Jetsu1337 that you should actually have 95 “reasons Twilight is bad” if you’re going to post that statement.
Also, please remember that this story was written for the entertainment of mid-to-late teens. It was never meant to be a great novel of literary genius.
You can reach me at amethyst_jade@live.com
you, have no right bashing on the people, this book or this author.
Stephenie Meyer has put her heart and soul on this book. That something you could never do. All you did was waste time on writing the sack of grabbage.
Look around you, twilight is biggest thing every. I was not much of a readder untill I got to this book. Twilight is the first book I could say that I enjoyed everything about. Stephenie Meyer took a new idea about vampires than the traditional stories about vampires. IT called beening creatative. Something that you don’t know about. IF you think you could better then, try it. IF you can’t the shove off. You might be the type of person that sits in a chair all day eating chips with grease in them. I don’t feel sorry for you. you have no life. We all hate you!
I think twilight is good. Afterall, it is a love story. Lovestories have alot of talking in it. Anyways, the talking is interesting.
Funny for the most part, but there is one thing I have issues with- Anne Rice’s vampires being manly? Sure, they don’t sparkle, but other than that…yeah.
Do you mind if I put this on my xanga page it’s to funny to pass up.(I’ll credit you)
People need to understand that the more popular a work of literature is, the more it will be critiqued. This book was not as well-written as much as it appealed to our emotions. Most Twilight lovers don’t know a good book. They just know what an easy-read is. Like, real good books are truly genius. Though, there is nothing wrong with liking Twilight, I must say you have bad taste. There is nothing wrong with having a negative opinion. Take constructive criticism and don’t act like you have the right to defend the work as if you were the one who wrote it personally.
HOWEVER, other than comedic appeal, not all these reasons were VALID on why we should hate Twilight. If you put, 95 things you noticed that were off thats one thing. But telling someone to hate something that someone else may actually like is overboard. Though your humor was catchy. I just think being obsessed about this book because you are bored with your life and looking for a happily ever after that will never happen, realistically speaking, is overrated. Like seriously: GROW UP
People. Y-O-U apostrophe R-E means you are. Y-O-U-R means your, used when talking about possessions.
Aside from that, the whole vampire concept has been stretched so far and so thin, that there are no original ideas about them left. All vampire books are roughly the same. I liked your list, it was silly, and cynical. Bella is a horrible character giving a bad name to strong girls everywhere who pride themselves on grace and independence. Meyer has written a story that basically says “Hey girls, find a man that will make your decisions for you and make all your dreams come true. And if he takes the engine out of your car so you can’t leave him, well, that means he loves you!”
It is the essence of retarded. End of story.
Bravo! Very rarely do I read an article which goes against the popular public opinion. Keep up the good work no matter what people thihk or say. Only your own opinion counts when you write.
I personally love the fact you, while having some valid points ruined a perfectly good paper by overstating yourself. I got bored by point forty, at least twilight managed to keep my intrest till the end of book one. I have not, however, been able to read book two, instead have moved onto the House of Night series, which gives a far more interesting look at teenage vampires… with much more realistic scenes for teens of THIS era. I suggest it to all those who decided to flame twilight. It would be an interesting book, if the characters had been handled differently.
i would rather read this than the book
Get over it. Its fun as hell to read and why does it matter to you what other people enjoy? Instead of sitting and thinking of 95 reasons why you hate a book of sub-par literature, read one of your Pulitzer’s prize winners, snob. You should get started on your 95 reasons why you hate the Jonas Brothers, people are probably enjoying them way too much for your liking.
ummm….i totally like the series but i get it doesn’t make alot of sense, i read it because it is funny. and i agree with you on a lot of those points. however you are a hypocrite. because you say that twilight fans force their beliefs on you but your doing the same damn thing. as for grammar its the internet no one gives a damn but you and your anal cavity. so get your head out of your butt and and get over it. no offense asshat.
p.s. # 29 you can suck it harry potter is amazing.
Really, you’re saying that Twilight fans are dumb and obsessive and teenage girls, or that’s what I gathered. I know that they are obsessive, but you seem obsessed with it too, or obsessed with hating it. I personally know some people who love Twilight, and many of them are smart. Dissing someone’s intelligence for liking a book that gives them an escape into another world is a bit harsh. As for it being a teenage girl’s book, I know adults who love the book and I know straight guys who love the books. I love reading the Twilight books. If you don’t like them then don’t read them. Don’t dis people because they like the books because I’m sure that there are books you are obsessed with because you can relate to them or because they take you to another world. If you don’t get what I’m saying then you’re not as smart as you think you are.
The reasons in this article were so absurd to me, that I had to publish a rebuttal to this article.
http://www.bookstove.com/Fantasy/Why-to-Hate-Twilight-Rebuttal.621697
haha i totally agree with you and LOL’D the whole time i wuz reading. number 65 wuz my favorite.
Only one reason is needed: terrible writing.
Ok…..Right now I hate StumbleUpon…..Because they only have an “I Like It” button….not an “I LOVE it” button.
This list was awesome.
It angers me more than anything that these fangirls say that Twilight is the best book ever, even though it is truly a piece of trash. I would recommend The Lord of the Rings, although people tend to say “I saw that movie, it was boring.” …………. Okay, but I recommended the BOOK, idiot. Gah, I’d better stop or I’ll go into a long rant.
not read it and have no plans to. anything that Wal-Mart gets a display with t-shirts, book bags, posters etc is crap. It is drivil like harliquin romance novels but worse. Little girls with no brains enjoy it.
“T. Pain would totally win Bella’s heart and beat up Edward because he’s on a boat.”
That’s win right there. Really, what more reason do you need?
yes,everybody likes edward but he is a vampire?♥
So, I agree whole-heartedly that everything having to do with the Twilight Series is a great big pile of horse crap, but you are making everybody with that opinion look like a complete retard. The fact that only one book in the “Twilight Series” is called Twilight means nothing. In t “Hitchhikers Trilogy”, which is one of the greatest series ever written, only one of the books has the word Hitchhiker in it and there are FIVE books, not three. It doesn’t matter. Also, you say that the books are unoriginal (a statement with which I completely agree) yet you point out that shiny vampires (one of the only original things about the books) is a flaw. Think about what you say next time before you make yourself and all those who share your opinions look like morons.
“Its better to keep one’s mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln. Think about that.
I liked the Twilight Series. It may have been childish but it is written for teens and you. You can’t seem to get over the fact that Bella is so perfect but it sounds more like you are jealous of Bella and maybe the fact that she’s not alone. Have you ever fallen in love? Not just puppy love but true love? Maybe that’s why you are so bitter toward the story.
If you think it is so terrible, why don’t you write a book and see how far you can go with it? Let the readers decide if you are right or wrong. That would be the best way to take out your frustrations about the Twilight Series.
Like you said everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I think some of your reasonings have some ground but they are few and very far between. Especially with you repeating a lot of them. So technically you don’t have 90 (whatever) reasons you actually have fewer. I don’t think it is right that you use a dead persons name to knock what you don’t like. You don’t know if they would have liked it or not. You are not them and you don’t have their mind. So next time keep the references of other people who could not have possibly told their opinions out of it.
apruiz09
Would everyone get off this chicks case. Yes she repeated herself. So what, she was entitled to her opinion. Quit calling her stupid. So what she didn’t like the books. Neither did I. But even if I had, you wouldn’t see me yelling about the fact that someone had a different opinion than mine.
I will point out a huge flaw in these criticisms. Saying that Anne Rice’s vampire’s aren’t “girly men” is a little wrong. Most of the male vampires have homosexual tendencies. Also, Anne Rice has more than male vampires in her books. By the way, I love Anne Rice. She is the greatest vampire author of all time.
#66
that is the most important one.
I just want to say that Reason #15 isn’t a good reason.
Everyone’s parents are different.
Some parents don’t bother their kids, some always hover.
Lovely Story. Unique angle. Surprising structure. Very well-written and marks way up there in creativity.
I loved your list and am so jealous, mainly bc I didn’t write it myself. I was particularly entranced with 77, as I thought the same thing….http://beckstaspage.blogspot.com/2009/03/old-man.html
Okay, first off… you say Twilight readers are stupid and mindless. Well? Look at you!? Who has time to write 95 resons on why to hate a much loved book. I mean it isn’t our faults you are to blinded and stupid to not understand the true point of the book and enjoy it as much is everyone else. Plus, these aren’t really even 95 reasons, they say the same thing over and over! Bella isn’t a stupid person without a brain. She ws actually very smart, and she did love Edward, very much. Yes, reason 15 is stupid parents don’t always hover, they have trust. Charlie is very protective of Bella if you actually read the book you will come to learn that. Jacob was very nice, but Bella can’t help she doesn’t love him the way she loves Edward. Plus, Jacob is completely in love with Rennesme, which in my opinion is a creative and beauitful name. The book isn’t even about sex, what person would say it’s not even a rea book because it doesn’t have enought real sex? So, just get over yourself. The books are anazing, you are self centered and heartless. I’ll pray for you and keep your opinions to yourself, cause they are bad ones.
I myself am a huge Twilight fan, but i have to admit when you break down the books like that, it’s true. but the reason why most people like the books is becuase is impossible. when you read it its just like daydreaming. the perfect guy, willing to die for you, blah blah blah. its an escape from reality. thats why most people like it. at least that’s why i like the books.
hahahahahaha i read all four books over my thanksgiving break. Basically four books in four days. I’m a huge fan of Harry Potter and that is REAL fantasy writing. This list was so true and hilarious! Fantastic.
My girlfriend keeps trying to get me to read at least the first book before i criticize it. I was considering it until I heard the vampires sparkle
i was like um wtf? then they apparently have no heart beat = no blood flow = no cellular respiration = no movement = dead = not able to do anything.
The plot has clearly been taken from a million other books and btw literature is considered to be novels such as Milan Kundera, Charles Dickens, Shakespeare, Kurt Vonnegut, George Orwell. Literature is supposed to be a metaphor, microcosm, analogy, well written, like these books are, not cliche
Also, quite hilarious to see these 13 year old girls going crazy over a 109 year old virgin, who is in a teenager’s body. I know plenty of girls, one who reads daily, who threw the books away because of the “lack of substance, the crappy writing” etc.
Honestly- it’s just a book. Personally, I didn’t think it was that great, but I’ve read much worse. I just read the series from all the hype, said, ‘Hmm. This is ok,” and then didn’t touch them again. I’m neither obsessively addicted to them, nor obsessively hateful either. It’s a story- I think both groups- the ones who hate them and the ones who love them- just need to move on and get over it.
Worst piece of writing to have ever been published. It’s entirely immature and ridiculous. Awful, awful, awful. Stephenie Meyer should just burn all of her books and never write again. I read about half of book one. I simply couldn’t stomach any more of that crap.
I read the entire series just because once I start something, I have to see how it ends. It was an extremely guilty pleasure. Everything I hated about the books is on this list. Kudos times a million.
You are sooo WRONG!
Twilight is amazing.
If you have read it, your opinion is yours.
But everyone I know who has read it LOVE IT.
The movie wasn’t so great,
but don’t judge a book by a movie.
Most your comments are from losers you haven’t reads the book,
so lay down and be amazed.
Bell isn’t perfect, because she IS clumsy.
And she isn’t even beautiful.
So you have issues.
Go to a therapist.
Byyyatchh.
I think your all idiots for even talking about the book in the first place…if you think its so bad, just leave it alone and let all the little crazy girls go emo and slash themselves when they realize that edward will never come…that way u dont have to deal with all the girls in the first place
Jealous much?
Amen to you and those who helped you write this. I will say that I have not wasted my time reading this book and I will tell you why… I have a sister who just turned 18 and she was all over these books. Now she is a cool high school drop out that is too cool too read. Anything a teenage girl is going to fall over heels for is not going to be a good book. I would rather spent my time reading something intelligent and yes not something where someone gets knocked up because of a vampire. Vampires are dead… they do not make sperm anymore. dead = no sperm = impossible to get someone pregnant . WOW the math is outrageous! I have to agree that Anne Rice wrote great vampire books.
GIRLS READ SOMETHING THAT WILL EXPAND YOUR MIND AND NOT TAKE US BACK TO 1950. You don’t need a man to protect you or make your life easier.
it sounds like each of those reasons could also be used to say why twilight is good…
95 reasons. Overboard. Two sentences is just fine. It was a plotless book, full of impossibilities, about 2 (semi) perfect lovers. If that’s what you want to read, be my guest (It is a good waste of time if you have nothing better to do, like in the Dr. office.
i agree with every complaint.
doesn’t mean i didn’t read them all and enjoy them.
the books were like candy. no redeeming value whatsoever, but still delicious.
P.S. I’m not anti-twilight, read what you want, all I’m saying is that if you want to live a book (Figure of speech, Duh) this is not the one I would spend my time on. Like I said, it is a great waste of time, but, nothing to marvel at. If you want to truly read a book, try Jeffrey Archer, John Grisham, David Baldacci, when you finish one of their books, you can laugh at the genius of the plot, every word implying something else.
@vanessa
If Vampires are dead and don’t make sperm anymore, they should have cuts in every part of their body. As you said, they are dead, so they obviously can’t produce new skin cells. So what is the huge myth that vampires (Together with practically every other undead type creature) heal nearly instantaneously. As you said, impossible.
Another question on this outrageous math.
Vampires are undead creatures, through the same logic that you said, they’re dead, so they don’t produce sperm, you can say “Well, they’re dead so they shouldn’t be walking around, or moaning, or biting people.” Obviously, they’re undead (emphasis on un) they are neither dead, nor alive. Plus, they’re mythical creatures, MYTHICAL CREATURES! You don’t apply rules to mythical creatures.
P.P.S. I try to punctuate correctly, sorry for the unclosed parentheses in the previous post.
I do agree with a lot of what you said…though you could have been a little more creative with the book bashing. Stephanie Meyer is not that bad of an author, and as far as her meandering away from the ‘typical’ vampire novel, bravo. People get tired of reading about the same bloody, human killing, vampires. Not all vampire books have to have smut in them. Bella is a total klutz but Meyer wanted her to be a typical, awkward teenager, though I do not know many that trip or stumble every 5 seconds.
It did get a little boring during the second book, and it is a little ridiculous that they fell for each other so quick…although I do not know many girls who would not mind if Edward Cullen caught them…but it is a little unnerving how Bella was not terrified every second with him…and creepy that he knocks her out every time they have sex and she seems to be fine with that.
They are decent books and I am just glad that people are reading instead of gaming or something, lol. It kind of makes me happy that not EVERYONE likes them, it keeps conversations spicy, lol.
Speaking of “esteemed” authors, Steven King COMPLETELY disses Meyer and pretty much says that Rowling is like 10,000 times better.
U R AWSOME I HATE TWILIGHT!!!!!!!!
lol im sending it to all my friends!
I just love it when people rant and rant about grammatical errors whilst making their own. It’s always cringetastic! Most of your reasons were redundant and irrelevant- but, kudos on the Light Yagami & Potter references, it ALMOST make you likeable. And the fact that you say “we” within your list makes it a bigger disaster- apparently multiple heads aren’t always better than one.
I actually liked the books, (Im a man by the way) and it is kind of stupid and everything. BUT, Harry Potter is a wussy, he sucks at magic on almost all the books.
LMFAO to the “Light Yagami doesn’t approve of Twilight so neither should you.”.
Twilight is useless, as are rants.
Haven’t read it or seen it, and don’t plan to. If the teenyboppers love, I’m sure to hate it. (Except for Harry Potter
)
Want to read a real vampire story? Check out Anne Rice’s books or Stephen King’s Salem’s Lot.
Yeah, these books don’t count as “literature”. Popularity is not the arbiter of literary worth. I wouldn’t worry too much about the degeneration of the intellectual culture. Those who would place this series within the pantheon of great works are not of the cognoscenti; this fad will go the way of snap bracelets or “Moxie” cola. The inability of any fan to posit a worthwhile argument for the literary significance of the books is evidence enough of this. Let the girlies get their hormonal fix. It’s about as culturally effectual as men watching porn.
I have to laugh. I’d never even heard of this book series until last night when my daughter called me to tell me to read them as they were the worst thing she’d ever read and were being compared to good literature. She was both appalled and frightened for what it portends for young readers. I STILL haven’t read them but was clicking the stumble button and found this and thought it has to be the same one she was telling me about. Someone direct children to the My Book House set of books for such glorious reading starts.
I like this guy. He is write as hell.
personally i have not read the books nor do i care to, but i’ts my opinion that for someone so intent on not liking the book you sure to give it a lot of attention. secondly, get over yourself. obviously for all your bashing on the author’s creativity you don’t have a lot of your own, you repeated yourself several times, taking the same concept and rewording it.
no, id didn’t think it was worth my time, but if you kept reading it you must of thought it was worth yours. you know what they say -
those without talent become critics.
cheers to tyler
“We read the entire series just to laugh at the stupidity of it.”
you just helped the popularity by reading the books and making this list.
I’m neither a fan or a hater. I’ve only seen the movie… If you really want to get rid of Twilight never mention it again and hope it goes away. lol. right now you are just being counterproductive. My guess is you are one of those people that loved it when it first came out and once it got popular you turned your back on it.
Are you sure you read the Saga? Because most of your reasons aren’t true. Meyers DOES mention fangs. Bella never listens to Edward especially about Jacob. In fact she stands her ground so much that Edward changes his opinion and lets her see Jacob. Twilight is a fictional book and if you ever took a literature class, when writing a fictional book, you have to think about your audience and what they want to read. Which Meyer does exactly right. Also whose to say that vampires have fangs and have to have flaws… they don’t exist!!!! At first your list was full of reasons and then it just turned into a list of your nonsense. Also, did you forget that teenagers DO fall in love that quickly and that exactly what Bella and Edward are. Teenagers grasp to the thought that “they never felt this way about someone” and automatically assume its love. So that is very typical of them to feel the way they do. People like twilight! Get over it. Stephanie Meyers got all the fame she deserved for these books. As for your other reasons I don’t have time to waste correcting you on everything you have no idea about. Oh, and I know plenty of straight guys who like twilight. Maybe because I like it. Sorry if you will never experience that.
“It obviously appeals to young girls, and I don’t see why people are so keen to crush them by telling them that’s it’s a horrible book and a waste of time.”
Maybe because it’s crap like this that’s teaching our girls to be submissive and totally dependent on men? Not only does Bella’s entire life revolve around Edward, Edward is also an abusive creep. All this book does is encourage submission and domestic violence.
This list was awesome!
I would add one extra thing (and sorry if anyone mentioned it): The best marketing quote they could find from the book was “I dream of being with you forever.” Really? That’s the BEST LINE in the whole book?
“A hundred years difference = pedophile.”
Made me laugh SO hard!
Be comforted by the fact that there is a small sect of twilight fangirls who do recognize that it is horrendous writing and not in any way literature. I simply do not always want to read “literature.” Don’t write us all off so easily; some of us are intelligent. Twilight is to reading as toast is to making breakfast. Of course there are better things out there, but you don’t always want to expel the effort, and it fulfills its purpose.
#95 Edward either has blue balls or herpes…. he’s been around for a LONG time…. something had to have happened there.
Y’know… I’d be almost disappointed if this post had perfect grammar. It’s a blog post. A brain drain. It’s just kinda there. Doubtful that it was about getting attention.
For years I was a professional editor and there’s a time and place to exercise my talents. Right now? Not one of them. Blog post? Nah. A SET OF NOVELS? Hell yes.
The comments have made my evening. People have actually been suggesting you see a THERAPIST or that you had recently been broken up with and that’s why you’re so bitter? Oh man I love the internet.
I’m not going to lie, I’m a “fangirl” for Harry Potter, but as this list proves, HP is significantly better than everything else in the world, I mean, Twilight.
oh and lol at comment #302. Way to prove the lists point.
Light Yagami doesn’t approve of Twilight so neither should you.
That’s the only reason you need.
Hail Kira.
Plus she’s pretty much having sex with a dead guy.
o.o
Excellent list.
Oh man. You’re my hero!
You make me so happy it’s rediculous!
Honestly am I the onlyy girl offended by the weak disgusting portrayal of Bella. Gross. Really.
You’re entitled to your opinion, but you may want to check your spelling and punctuation before posting something, especially before you criticize the spelling and punctuation of others.
The world population will come to an end because all girls who read this book will think they are Bella and will wait for their Edward to come until they are old. And he’ll never come.
… I’m a girl
… I read the book
… I hated it.
So, thanks for saying that.
I wish these brainwashed Twilight fans could grasp their mind around some truly magnificent literature. Maybe London, Joyce, or Hemingway will become the next fad, but I sincerely doubt it.
This book was deplorable and the series went down hill from there. Conflict creates interest and Meyer left it out completely, I am an English teacher and in my opinion the entire series is worth less than an old paperback sleaze novel.
Ok 1) I hate the books 2) if you liked the books i feel sorry for you, but more power to ya, who am i to judge… 3) this list was CLEARLY put up as a joke, I mean I have no doubt that the author dislikes the series, but read the list… clearly a joke.
I will say this, however, #89 makes it all worth while…
“Light Yagami doesn’t approve of Twilight so neither should you.”
If you don’t get it go watch death note… literally laughed out loud when I read that one
So the books and the movie weren’t that great but these reasons kind of sucked too, esp. because they kept repeating over and over how much Bella sucks, I got the point after reading the first 3 reasons. Nevertheless, the whole vampires sparkle comment was a good one.
Wow, does this really make people feel better about themselves? Finding something to bash? Agreed that you do have your opinion I think you might have gone a tad over board on some of your points. Yes the typical vampire doesn’t sparkle, but why should the author be contained by the constraints set forth by previous authors? The amendments change, so why can’t a FICTIONAL book as well. I liked the series but like some wish there was a bit more to them. The Harry Potter series in my eyes had more connections that made reading the series worthwhile, while this series was basic and easy to guess each next step. Anywho, people need to stop freaking out when someone has a contrasting opinion, and those with the contrasting opinion need to lighten up and get out our your own little ‘perfect’ box as you see it.
Just to put this obvious and well-known fact out there: your NOT EQUAL to you’re.
So, from my own observations, it’s rather amusing to see people be haughty about grammatical correctness. OOH are you judging me too? Because obviously, there is an inverse relationship between my grammatical prowess and the quality and content of my thought processes.
Also, it is rather amusing to peruse this and read such vehement responses! Take into account that really, of all the pertinent issues in the world to take a passionate stance about, this is one of the most trivial out there.
But rock on everyone, rock on- do whatever you have to to validate your existence.
LOL @ #66
I liked the book, but only because I have a vagina and I’m a hopeless romantic.
I giggled the whole way through your list.
Cheers!
I’ve taken baths deeper than you.
If you had actually read the book and looked at the inner meaning you would have seen you are entirely WRONG on everything here. I went through each of your reasons and thought of a rebuttal to each. You are just pissed that there is a huge following of the books. I did not like the movie. I believe the director sucks and did not give the book justice. Maybe you should find something you are good at or some better way to spend your day then tear down works others took more time on than you ever will on something.
wow! geez if you hate twilight so much, why do you care so much to spend your time writting a list about it.. plus everybody has a different view of how they see vampires.. second vampires and werewolfs have a history its not just a facebook ap! third which if you actually read the books bella didnt try to kill herself, idk where you got that one from… There are better books out there… and there is a actually plot.. maybe you dont see it cause your to close minded… and if you think harry potter is better for little kids to read…ya lets have our kids think they can fly on a broom stick or that they have powers. and go and fight evil snakes and gaint spiders. with moving stair cases… the movies are kool but the books are boring… people have different interest so why bash on a book you didnt take the time to enjoy… for all those who said i just read the book to see what idiot dies first or if bella gets over edward.. i think your just making an excuse to cover up that you exactly did enjoy the books and you couldnt put them down cuz if you hate them so much why would you spend days read like 7 hundred page books..??? i dont see it after the first book wouldnt you think if you didnt like it you wouldnt go rent or buy the second and the third and fourth…??? i think your just trying to fit in and say you dont like twilight cuz your too embarsed to admit it.. 95 reason not to like twilight? i’d say alot of these reason dont make sense and that most of them are stupid and repeated… and if you know anything about writting books. a lot of books are based off the author’s life and what they wish they can be or a situtation they have been in so back off her… most others write about their fantasies…
Light Yagami doesn’t approve?
Wow, that really just pulled ANYTHING validation this list had against the book.
Having a comment from a fan from an EQUALLY obnoxious and useless fanbase? GG.
The list is quite hilarious, I presume a lot of it is in jest but the tone is quite venomous so I guess you really don’t like Twilight…you’recertainly getting a lot of recation anyway, so well done for that.
I have to say, I read all of the books recently and while they are not particularly well written, and books 2 and 3 should really be combined because it’s the same story stretched out to a ridiculous length, I have to say Catherine Hardwicke did a fantastic job with the film adaptation, which I found much more enjoyable than the books. Check it out at http://www.cinemaroll.com/Horror/Twilight-Strangely-Captivating.462577
Here’s to the Internet, were EVERYONE is entitled to their opinion
the only reason guys hate this book is because they know they could never be as perfect as edward. or robert pattinson
This list makes me want to make sweet sexy non-Mormon vampire love to you. Twilight is just as bad as those bodice rippers you can buy at the dollar store.
twilight is such a good movie for me…..everything in twilight is so great for me.Bella ,who was portray by Kristen Stewart is really good and she is such a good actress.
I agree with ha to a point, but Robert Pattinson is a messed up Edward, and all you f**kin preps reading it has pissed me of!!!
nice reason for 66 because hes on a boat ;p does anyone here hate the jonas brothers? if you do go to my page
Hmm. I was wondering if you would mind if I linked to this on my blog, for pure amusement. It is an excellent list and I would love to share it with people I know.
Hope you write more like this.
Personally I haven’t read Twilight (except the last Chapter of the last book, just to ruin it for an obsessed friend =)) and due to all the hype I probably won’t. I have too many Twilight obsessed friends. I went and saw the movie due to them and got slandered for not having any idea what it was about; down to not knowing they were vampires.
Stephen King makes a very good point.
alright, you say we’re all allowed to have an opinion but when you’re trying to force your views on others it’s annoying and unnecessary. You’re just one of those people who love harry potter and can’t like anything else. i like both series, but just like twilight, harry potter has equally ridiculous plot lines and undeveloped characters. It is a book, who care if it isn’t original? Harry Potter isn’t original either, get over it. It is about entertainment and that’s it. Since when do authors have to create creatures in the exact way others have before? what does it matter? it is a fantasy and no more, so they can be however the author wants them to be. get over yourself.
are you serious? i mean really, just because a book is not feministic enough or whatever, does not mean it is not incredibly romantic. also, have you ever thought that some girls dont mind that bella is “useless” its a nice thought that someguy so comeletly perfect would come and wisk you away?? and u said that edward doesnt have flaws, then you said that he is overly protective and whatever. anyway, if u dont like the book that is fine, but dont make ppl think its so stupid and un pc. ur annoying.
Read the book and liked it. Why? It is a book, not real life, lets pretend etc. Sometimes it is good to be able to read a book that will take your mind off of your every day or some bad days. It is fiction and most people realize it is fiction.
Why are you wasting your time with this?
I read Twilight over two years ago and it was good. Not the best thing I’ve ever read, but it was enjoyable.
I don’t understand why you’re spending time dwelling on this and building up so much hate for a BOOK. or book series.
Really, you’re telling people that read Twilight and are in love with it to get a life. Why? Because they love Twilight? Well isn’t hate just as strong as an emotion?
Isn’t it about time you got a life, too?
I realize we’re all have our opinions and can say what we want, but most of your ‘reasons you shouldn’t read Twilight’ are repeated and dull, like you’re just coming up with things to fill in to make the list long.
I haven’t read the books but I do have a comment about:
#37. Why is it called the Twilight Series if only one book is titled Twilight?
A book series is a sequence of books with certain characteristics in common that are formally identified together as a group. Book series can be organized in different ways, such as written by the same author, or marketed as a group by their publisher.
This does not mean that they all need to have the same title.
#95 isnt exactly a reason…i like twilight, its interesting.
but errr who would bother to write 94 reason you hate twilight?
I wholeheartedly agree. Reason 89 is genius, by the way. I’m pretty sure that L doesn’t approve either.
Anne Rice is also vastly under appreciated and sadly, I think I prefer it that way. No insane fangirls.
I miss the days when grammar and punctuation were important and you was spelled with three letters…
Hi, Sarah, how are you?
I see that you at least took the time to actually read the books before commenting on them! That’s good! I wrote an article on Twilight as well, and it’s important to at least have a head’s up on the facts before posting an opinion.
I’m a guy! I’ve read the first three books of the Twilight series. I almost chose not to read the second and the third volumes because of my opinion on the first. However, I had a younger female friend who was vehement that I read the series because of how much she loved it. That’s why I decided to give Meyer a shot. Plus, I love werewolves, so I was anxious to see what happened with Jacob.
No offense, but, I think it’s fair to say that most of your list was written in bias. While I can understand your frustration, ((I didn’t like the first book all that well either)) using the list to vent was certainly not a good idea. That is why you have received such negative comments—because of your negativity. You reap what you sow!
Before you get upset again because of my comment, just realize one thing: I agree that Twilight could have been 10 times better. I also agree that the characters are pretty extreme and that the story could have developed more appropriately given different circumstances.
The book was successful though, even with its apparent flaws. No matter how many people join this bandwagon, nothing can be done about the past. It was successful for as many reasons as it has flaws, so, who are we to judge?
One question: Did Stephen King really say that, or did you just make it up? Cite your information so that we can all get the truth from it, otherwise we’ll be spreading false information. Do you really want to be the one who started a rumour? Cite your quotes from famous people, so that we have an idea that you’re being honest.
There are so many other discussions that could be had with regards to this set of books, but none of them deserve the condemnatory remarks that have been posted. As far as civility goes, most of the people who posted here have a lot to learn.
Thanks for sharing, and have a nice day.
Oh, and, to explain something about book series: First-time authors rarely get a say in what a series of books could be entitled. It is mostly the well-known authors who produce series-starters that have a series title. Meyer’s publisher was most likely curious to see if the book would turn a profit first before considering signing her on for another in the same realm. Twilight came out as an exploratory novel. Because it did well in sales, her publisher most likely decided for her that the series would be called the Twilight series—which most generally happens with first-time authors and their novels: The series is named by its first book’s title. I hope that explains it. Because of the popularity of these books, one can ask for the title of the book itself and still get what one is looking for.
I agree with your reasons.
I don’t ‘hate’ twilight; I just dislike it and the stupid girls who drool over it.
Twilight has been in libraries as long as I could remember and until now they show some attention? Great fans they are.
Over all, I agree with your reasons. Kudos.
you’re all kinda a bunch of whiners in my opinion. we get that you don’t like the book…but i feel like this whole statement to show that you don’t like the book is really just a cover up. think about it…why would someone who hates the book so much spend so much time talking about it?? if you really hated it, i would think that you wouldn’t want to waste any of your time even thinking about it. stop complaining and go find something better to do with your life.
I haven’t read the book yet, and seriously I’m thinking that I shouldn’t read it. I was about to just when you type up “95 reasons that you hate Twilight”. Good reasoning, and others! I really shouldn’t read Twilight after all! Yah! I kind of feel a bit sorry for the blind people that like Edward… lol!
xD I love twilight but i agree with this one. # A hundred years difference = pedophile.
WTF! its an ok seres get over it U morons!!!
Its a lame, slow and totally unbelievable story.
i aplaud every1 who wrote the 95 reasons clap clap =D
I have never heard of Twilight(very sheltered life)but you certainly got your point across very well. I don’t think I will even be interested in checking it out after this review! Thank you for stopping me from wasting my time. I don’t have any to waste for sure.
well, I did like the Twilight books. The movie was TERRIBLE. While I agree with many of your above statements, I feel that if one of your complaints is about Stephanie Meyers’ grammatical errors, you should probably fix the grammatical errors in your post.
Look, I’m not a huge “Twilight” obsessive… I certainly think there are better books out there. Personally I’m a fan of “The Scarlett Letter” which has nothing to do with vampires….I’m a college educated young woman in her 20s, at the very least I appreciate The Twilight Saga (not “series” btw.) because it’s like popcorn. If I want deep, I’ll read deep… that being said…
…If you’re going to complain about a books repetitive nature, you might try to not be so… repetitive. We are so quick miss kettle aren’t we?
I get it, many writers get it, we are mad because really all Meyer did was write a college writing exercise…make it really long… and millions were hooked. The problem I have with your analysis is that so many of the “problems” are actually good points. Bella is in fact easy to relate to. Characters that someone can hook into have ALWAYS been successful. Sure you can play the whole “but my character is like such a unique individual!” card… but really, when you’re playing to a tween audience, no one is really looking for James Joyce. Yes this makes her a “Mary Sue”… but no more “Mary Sue” than say… “Pepper Ann” or even “Juno”
What “Twilight” is is a series of books for young girls who’ve been told “sorry Cinderella is never going to happen”. Why did anyone have the right to tell a girl that? Sure, it isn’t a fairy tale, but gosh darnit, if a tween wants to believe that one day love will find her… then let her find out how wrong she is when she grows up. Is it such a horrible thing to let girls think they will one day find someone who wants to care about them? Maybe “Edward” isn’t for everyone… but he fills the void that was left when we took away prince charming. Dear god, should we fear we’ve given young girls standards higher than Flava Flav??
Also, I’m sorry, I don’t need the books as a porn replacement. I suggest you find the erotica section of your local book store. Did I look for sex scenes in books when I was a tween? Of course, but you know what… sometimes what you don’t see… is a lot hotter than what you do. As you yourself quoted “Show don’t tell”… take your own advice.
I wrote my thesis on “Interview With The Vampire”… and I DON’T think Anne Rice is the be all and end all. Sorry. It might not be Meyer, but that’s a sad excuse for not finding something to realistically complain about.
…I could go on. I guess ultimately why I am defending “Twilight” is not because I believe it’s the ideal, or because I think that Meyer is the best writer ever, but I am defending it because I defend books. Anything, that gets ANYONE to read can’t possibly be bad. Why shouldn’t life be romantic and magical?
PS: The word “said” is in book one 387 times. So… if you’re going to give a review, at least do your homework…
Twilight is horrible… what’s even worse is the fact that GROWN WOMEN read these stupid books and fall in love with Mr. Perfect uumm… i mean Edward.
Look Twilight groupies, if you want to read a book where the character is perfect try reading the Bible…
I hate Twilight, their fans and the so-called author.
P.S. The movie sucked too… all I could do is stare at the HUGE Chiclettes Bella had in her mouth. (for all you slow people, her huge buck teeth! I guess we know what Bella wanted for X-mas!!)
The only reason people think these books are good is because the people who read them are illiterate.
I am an English major and do have respect for a lot of good literature. However, I still enjoyed reading Twilight because it was simply entertaining. You’re right though about the obsessive fan girls; they’re way over the top.
gah who cares, the book is popular whether you like it or not, get over it.
You spelled acquired wrong. Along with many other words. Also, even a person who hates the series understands that your points make no sense and your logic is horribly flawed. There would be no point in marking you on how wrong you were with about 90% of these because you’re clearly an annoying 13 year old who cannot spell or comprehend literature. Oh yes, and because most of these are not real points, just you saying things like “stupid”, nobody will have any real respect for this. If they do, they’re clearly annoying 13 year olds as well. Please do some research, or at least know some common knowledge about the world in general, before you decide to write a post like this.
i love how some people actually take this list seriously correcting grammar and such and trying to be smart and anal at the same time. Get over yourselves morons. We that dont like twilight are a minority so be happy in your stupid fantasy worlds while we suffer through reading youtube video comments that read,”This would be perfect for Twilight” and it’s a song with an apple in it or something completely twi unrelated and stupid. So what if she doesn’t have proper English, apparently neither does Meyer.
Ah yes, I forgot to mention one other thing. Stephenie Meyer is making more money than you, pwn.
btw, Kevin, I don’t think someone in the world could be more right.
This is brilliant. I’ll admit I haven’t read the entire series but I agree with every single point, especially those about the unhealthiness of Bella and Edward’s relationship and the fact that the author is writing her own wish fulfillment.
Well you certainly have a lot of things to say about how long and pointless the books are, yet your list is even more long, pointless, and pathetic. While you do have some good reasons in there, most of them are the same reasons 4 times, or one word reasons with no actual meaning. I think you were too hypocritical, and you arent that great of a book critic.
hello…
yes i agree with you and im 13…
Twilight isn’t very interesting and i’ve been trying my best to tell people my age that twilight is quite horrible and im not just reffering to the 1st book, i mean the entire series is horrid…
the movie was a bit good to me, but i didn’t want to even watch it. my friend dragged me there. Twilight is a ridiculous book…
I applaud your enthusiasm in attempting to right the stupid girls everywhere who have given up all thoughts of ever becoming independent women by following Bella’s example. No guy will make your life meaningful; only you can make your life meaningful. Don’t let men, or ANYONE, get in the way of you leading a healthy, fun, rewarding life; if they leave you, get over it because it’s not worth killing yourself over. Read Sunshine by Robin McKinley if you want a good, wonderful, romantic vampire book without all the horrible qualities.
When I first read Twilight, I thought it was everything, I read it practically everyday, and begged my dad to get me the last two books. But, now I realize Stephanie Meyer’s writing is mediocre. The books don’t “suck”, but I’d say she’s not the greatest writer. And also, you know how all you guys getting mad, because twilight fans are mad at you, GET OVER IT!!! Their crazy thinking they have “powers”, but you will never change their mind, until they realize that there are ACTUALLY better books out there.
I like Twilight and I agree with this…
Hmmm, Im not sure if Light Yagami is a good judge…he had a relationship with Misa….
eh, I love the series, but I agree with you. Not to mention the writing is strictly OK. However I think it’s quite entertain but there are so many other great books out there.
Amen to that : )
I also wrote an article about Twilight and the various sites available where you are free to express you’re rage.
Great article!
Let’s get married. (AKA I agree.)
You are my hero! EVERY girl, here in México, is reading that piece of crap…¬¬ This kind of books only makes girls more stupid. ¬¬
I’d just like to point out that Jacob, who you say was good and nice to her, absolutely PILED on the sexual abuse in the third book ‘Eclipse’. Erm, forced kissing including when she’s shoving against him to get away, threatening to kill himself if she doesn’t want to kiss him…etc. :S
TO KEVIN: Post 335
I enjoyed the Twilight series, and yes I have read Kurt Vonnegut. In fact, I did a book report on “Slaughter House 5″ when I was in grade 6. Just because someone enjoys a mindless read once in a while doesn’t mean that they are idiots.
OKay, I haven’t read rice’s books yet, but I can’t wait to. The only thing I would add to this list (and it is an awesome list) is that Edward “Ted” Forester would hunt down Edward Cullen for fun. Ted is a vampire hunter/sociopath in the Anita Blake Vampire Hunter Series, Written by Laural K. Hamilton. Those are real vampires.
This list is made for people who have read that book, not for someone who has yet to read it…You should probably change the title of your list, it’s misleading. I stopped reading Goosebumps in elementary school, and would never entertain the possibility of picking this Walmart best seller up off a shelf. You should constructively direct your argument towards the people who are on the fence as to whether they should read it or not.
*snicker* yeah, the series would be a whole lot better with gay vamps/weres. really. but they’re good books if you don’t want to have to think about anything.
FACT: there are books written about the philosophy of other cult classics such as harry potter, lord of the rings, etc
FACT: this coul not be done with twilight. why? because, espite protestations that the twilight series is “deep”, it goes no deeper than Edward’s sparkling skin.
p.s. dear Piper, it is in fact possible to be original in some aspects and unoriginal in others. Also, i do not think redefining the terms of vampirism counts as original, because the vampire has been a staple in folklore for many thousands of years, and i believe the author of this list, when referring to “more esteemed authors” probably intended to include the oral “authors” of thousands of years of cultural lore. but, i mean, if ms meyers decided that you no longer had to die to be a zombie, i guess that’d be okay with everyone. i mean, as long as the zombies were hot, right?
does no one rember Bram stokers Dracula the original vampire every thing vampires can and cant do are listed there
MAN, I’ve been thinking this for months! Had I known that such a list would become so popular, I would’ve written it myself. I might still add a few points of my own. XD
Anyway, I agree. TrueBlood is a lot better, largely because THOSE vampires aren’t somehow immuned to sunlight.
Have actually read Twilight though everyone I know thinks I should because I like real vampire novels. If you want a good one read The Historian. Very deep, with real characters and conflict.
Anyways, Twilight seems to be a cross between vampires and One Tree Hill/The OC or any other teen drama that comes to mind (except those are better/smarter/deeper) and then dumb everything down.
Okay, I accept that you don’t like Twilight. This would be okay, as you have a right to your own opinion, if you’d read it. But not spelling Renesmee’s name right, not even once? This makes me doubt the truth behind your statements of how you read the entire saga, and therefore you discredit yourself by not being fully educated on that which you attempt to criticize. Aside from that, you contradict yourself repeatedly…ie., #21 and 39. #49…I’m extremely OCD about grammatical errors (of which you have many in your list), and I didn’t find a single one in any of the four books. #53…anyone who doesn’t live in a cave knows that it’s about vampires, whether they’ve read it or not. So, duh…why shouldn’t she put a great quote on the back, when it’s not revealing anything new anyway?? #52…do any guys actually like ANY romance novels, which is essentially what Twilight is?? #74…of course it doesn’t live up to its hype. Neither did Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings! That doesn’t make them entirely bad, it just means that people over-exaggerate their appeal. #84…no, Jacob didn’t abuse Bella, but neither did Edward. So why shouldn’t she be able to pick whoever she wants?
I respect that you have an opinion about the books, but at the very least, you could express it in a way that doesn’t make you look foolish.
you really hate it that much? because it seemed like you read the whole series really closely….
The whole book series is like crack for lonely, over-analyzing, bored women… and men who want to believe there’s some ultimate, magical secret to us/or are trying to get into a fangirls pants.
It’s awful, really.
Then again, I’m rather judgmental when it comes to this myself. Three of my friends (one girl and two guys) relate themselves to a certain threesome in the book, constantly. I’m allowed to hate it. I never hear the end of it. They don’t even know who Anne Rice is. WHY!?!! WHY!!!!?!?!?!?!!!!!!
freaking love this. I think its funny. I’m sorry to say, I have not read the books, but from what I hear, a lot of these have popped up in my head such as “straight men don’t sparkle!”
ha ha ha! I don’t recommend Twilight either. It’s too shallow.
You have the right to your own opinion, as do I. Though i think that the Twilight saga was a lovely series, to the point where I would call myself a fan, I would have to say that it is not the best vampire book out there. Honestly try some real vampires. What ever happened to Lestat, or Dracula. Better yet go read some H. P. Lovecraft and get some real reading in.
I’ve read Twilight. I agree on the part that Harry Potter is better.
You are now my favorite person in the entire world.
Thumbs up.
I think that woman need to have something to think about, someone to dream about. Men so often let us down.
Woman like to think there is at least one man out there who is worthy of a woman. Well that woman is not bella, she is a snobby little brat.
As far as the People being so obsessive of the book, i think it’s stupid. But then again people are sheep, most people believe what they are told to.
A lot of those were pretty funny!
you clearly had to of watched this movie to have gotten all of that info lol and you have to have watched it a few times to get 95 reason you must really like twilight
A lot of these reasons are nebulous and could be combined to, say, 25. Or 10, really.
I fully agree 100% with this list. Twilight is just another crappy excuse for over obsessive fangirls. If they want to obssess they can at least choose a good book.
I hate the fact that they fell in love so quickly. its ridiculous,it annoys the hell out of me…
I suggest the Sookie Stackhouse Vampire mystery series instead.
Do you have ANY idea how many people asked me to explain why i hate twilight..?
God i will have so many links of this to send now!
I LOVE YOU ALL.
I love you for writing this. Numbers 43,71,78,81,82 and 86 are Immense
Yes, people are allowed to have their own opinion, they just need to make sure their opinion isn’t worthless. I’m sorry to say, in your case, it is.
You repeated yourself constantly then criticized Meyer for “dragging on?” This list can be condensed into 5 semi-valid reasons.
You contradicted yourself by saying that Edward is flawless in your 11th “reason” then calling him extremely possessive, abusive, and boring in number 19.
You say that she broke rules set out by other authors – darling, since when are there RULES in writing fiction? Especially VAMPIRE fiction. Just because somebody else wrote about vampires before doesn’t make their theories “rules” And Meyer obviously did her research then decided to challenge the archetypal image of a vampire. This doesn’t make her a lousy writer; it makes her a great one.
Mentioning her not-so-perfect grammar would have been a good reason had you not made plenty mistakes of your own.
The fact that Meyer depicted Bella’s character in a way that every reader could fit themselves into her shoes does not make Meyer inadequate; but very skilled. Is she not making millions now? You’re either jealous of Meyer or just dense – I’m going with the latter.
You said it yourself, people are allowed to have their own opinions, but they don’t have to go around passing judgment on opinions that don’t match their own.
It seems as if most of your reasons are about you hating Twilight because everyone else loves it: Get over yourself. The world does not revolve around you and being negative doesn’t make you “unique” it just makes you stupid.
Oh come on! It ain’t no Heller nor Eco! You don’t like it: don’t read it. There are TONS of literature which is even worse. I guess it’s fine that kids read anything
I think the whole series is horrible. I guess it’s aimed for teenage girls, but being 17 myself, I can hardly call this a literary work of art. Vampires are such an unoriginal idea, and Twilight seems to be jumping on the bandwagon. It makes me sad that people think that Twilight is “good litterature” but I think we should just be happy that people are getting off their lazy arses and reading!
OMFG I LOVE YOU FOR POSTING THIS… my “best friend” said she totally hated it and then some other chick told her how great it was so she ended up reading it and watching the movie and now she loves it and is obsessed with… I shouldn’t even have to say his name but for the record… EDWARD wooo! and wants a guy like that. not to mention she tried forcing me to read and watch the movie and i on the other hand refuse to be hypocritical and say i hate it and then go read/watch it .. im sorry but no i refuse to belong in any kind of Twilight cult.. i hate twilight soo much i can’t even stand the word .. how embarrassing..
Okay, you were a teenager once right? well id hope so.
Charisle didn’t just turn all teenagers into vampires…he also turned Esme into one. also if you read the book a lot of the vampire’s are young when they are turned into vampires.
Just because Twiliht is not a ‘typica;’ vampire book you shouldn’t just write it off. I liked the book because it was different in that regard..
You just refuse to let people hope to find the man of their dreams… Even in if it was a guy named edward. Sometimes you just love people regardless of who they are..
you dont sound like a very happy person…and hate is a bad word. her plot wasn’t the greatest (lets face it) but people found the story mystical and it gave them hope… and some people are crazy ( i mean people reacted the same way to harry potter…) so you have nothing there…
I love when people harp about grammatical errors of others’ writing when their own posts are so flagrantly error-ridden that they become hypocrites through their own posting.
I’m not talking about the OP, though. I’m talking about comment posters who are, hopefully, merely uneducated and don’t know any better. If they are properly educated, shame on them for being stupid beyond repair.
i….i love you.
awsome
i think this is halarious! but i still like twilight. I agree with #8 by julie, there are a bunch of books that suck more than twilight and its unfair for people to tell little girls (twilights’ intended audience) that it sucks.
THE BEST EXPLANATION OF TWILIGHT EVER!!!!!!!! Harry Potter is much better than this garbage.
4. And when he leaves she attempts to commit suicide.
She doesn’t attempt to commit suicide. In fact, she says on several occasions that she’s going to keep her promise to him that she wouldn’t even if he doesn’t keep his promise to stay.
5. Meyer is living out her own fantasies by writing about Bella, who is clearly herself.
This makes it a bad book because . . . many authors have written themselves into the characters in their books. Or artists in their works of art.
7. All the rules Meyer sets for being a vampire are broken by the end of the series.
Which ones?
8. Not only that, she breaks rules set by more esteemed authors.
This is her own work, she’s not copying other vampire stories. Her vampire lore is different. Again, this makes it a bad book how . . .
11. Edward is too perfect and has no flaws either. Even vampires should have flaws besides wanting to suck human blood because it’s natural to them.
Edward does have flaws. The book is written from Bella’s perspective, and she thinks he’s perfect, so obviously from her point of view, he doesn’t have any. He does not see himself that way, nor do many of the readers. For one, if I were Bella, I would hate that Edward was constantly thinking I was too fragile to do anything for myself. Oh and wait, Bella does get frustrated with this about him in each book of the series. So one example of a flaw there.
13. If Bella is so ‘plain’, why do so many guys fall for her within the first two chapters?
Bella isn’t plain. She only sees herself that way. The books are from her perspective mostly, and there isn’t anyone in the world who truly thinks of themselves completely beautiful and without flaws. Edward is constantly telling her “you don’t see yourself clearly” when she comments on her plainness.
15. Isn’t it convenient that her father always leaves her alone and doesn’t question her? Real parents aren’t that way.
There are MANY parents that are this way. Ever heard of neglect?
21. This book contains no real sex, so it’s not really a vampire novel.
Since when do vampires and sex have to be constantly intertwined? In fact, as a fan of occult and vampire fiction, I find it ridiculous that the mainstream view of vampires comes down to cleavage, leather, and whips. Dominatrix and Vampires are not synonymous. Also, Stephanie Meyer is religious, and these are teenage fiction novels. From her perspective, keeping the sex out of it is good for her age group of readers.
25. She never uses the word fangs in the entire book series, and it’s supposedly about vampire.
Again, this is a different view of vampires. It’s her lore, not that of Anne Rice. These vampires don’t NEED fangs. Their teeth are sharp enough without them. We’re not talking double toothed puncture wounds here via Buffy.
31. Meyer can’t think of original names. The only original name she used was Rennesme, which is combination of two names and doesn’t count.
The names she uses for the characters are appropriate because of each character’s time-line. Edward was a popular name for his time. The same for the other vampire characters. Even those characters that are human have names that go along with their time. Bella’s friend, Jessica, is mentioned to have the same name as three others from her old school. It’s done to show the contrast, to explain that it is a common name for their age group. Meyer goes over all this in the novel.
43. Stephen King agrees that Stephanie Meyer can’t write ‘worth a darn’.
I’ve honestly never liked Stephen King. Umm the “Langoliers” anyone?Laughable.
70. There’s nothing worse than a fan girl going insane over a fictional guy. It’s rather pathetic actually, so, um, yeah, get a life and keep reading those books, chickies.
I really don’t see the difference in girls appreciating a character in a book much like others have done. For one example, there’s Romeo. He’s been idolized a lot longer. It’s tween fandom. He’s the new tiger beat guy. What teenage girl hasn’t idolized some character in a book, tv show, or movie? Guys idolize the girls in playboy or sports illustrated, or maxim. Idolization has many forms.
I think you should have your opinions. Hate Twilight all you want. I just thought a few, non-aggressive opinions from a Twilight fan might be a breath of fresh air.
I totally and completely agree with this page, but it was a little iffy when Sarah Rebecca started insulting Meyer’s grammar; Sarah made countless mistakes throughout this entire list.
I’m not a big harry potter fan so the few reasons you listed that involved HP I sorta threw out but all the ones commenting on Bella’s backward mindless female personality hit home. The books were something to read but I wouldn’t give them much fanfare. I saw the movie unfortunately which in all its stupidity made Bella out to be some sort of feminist which pissed me the hell off. Stephanie Meyers has created a cult..just about any brainless twit can do that.
wow 95 reasons and you didn’t even get to any of the parts of the series where she goes on and on about stuff unrelated to the plot like what clothes she was picking out or food she was eating for dinner Lame
I cannot say, honestly, that it was a bad movie. I can not speak for the book, but the movie was not bad. I kind of liked the vampire baseball. How many movies or books do you really read or watch where vampires play baseball. They can only play when there is a thunderstorm… This is a small detail but not to bad. The whole “hunt” when the ponytailed vampire is after the girl and Edward “comes to the resuce,” of course it’s a little cheesy, who doesn’t like a little bit of a cheesy story every now and than. You are taking it a little to serious, relax, kick your feet up and breath easy for a little while. It was not that bad. Coming up with 95 reasons to dislike anything let alone a movie is a little overboard.
Reason number 96 that Twilight sucks: There are now at least 388 comments on the original post. Wtf, really.
P.S. Don’t bother to tell me that I contributed to the comments, I know that. After all, I did take time to write this, didn’t I?
The funniest thing when I saw the title of this article I was genuine intrigue because I thought it was going to say somrthing about hating the real twilight. I wondered who could hate twilight. Well in Jamaica I could because of the amount of mosquitoes that come out at this time. I love though twilight because it lends a fairy pink to the place and building that are not so beautiful take on a romantic look.I have a builder friend whose used to make fun at some houses saying they could only be sld at twilight.
So your Twilight book seem to be similiar some will hate it for the mosquitoes they find in it and some will love it because of the unrealistic characters and story line. So he what the heck read it if you like to each his own.
http://www.specular-jamaica.com
Youre totally right.
A girl at school had to to a hierarchy tree (A list-like chart that shows one large concept, and breaks it down into different ones)
She put Vampires and Fantasy separate. I felt like picking up my desk and throwing it at her. And what was an example of Vampire novels? Twilight.
I feel like a retard being surrounded by twitards.
I can’t lie, I do like the books, but I understand your point. I adored this article. It made me laugh basically from beginning to end. You had very valid points. I guess that makes me a bad Twilight fan. All well, I’m over it. They are possibly some of my favorite books, and I am aware that they are two-dimensional. It’s BECAUSE we can put ourselves in Bella’s shoes that attracts girls to them. I don’t wait around for anyone like Edward, or anything. I think people who want to do something like that are utterly wasting their time because, well, it’s a fictional character, and he does not exist. Also, just because Robert Pattinson plays Edward in the movie, this does not mean he is actually like Edward. You should have put that on your list.
I’ve met so many Twilight-obsessed girls that are all, “I’m going to marry Robert and make him act like Edward and we will be in love and he will be romantic!!!!!!!” To which I am forced to reply, “Hmmm…. Keep me posted on how that works out for you.” Sorry, I apologize for rambling. In conclusion, Kudos to this posting. I needed a good laugh. 
I agree with you, because i know it is not good literature. but if you hate it very much, why waisting your time reading the book and writing 95 reaons??….i think you should let the people to think whatever they like about the book….
i. love. you.
Hey, 394:
The book made millions because millions of boring people like buying popular things.
Quite frankly I think you are a moron.
Yes the internet is a place to voice your opinion… however, your ‘reasons not to read it’ are merely that… your own opinion… you have not provided any substantial reason for someone not to read this book saga.
It always amuses me when people are bitter about someone else’s success. You say that it’s not as good as Harry Potter, in your opinion.. HOWEVER, regardless of how successful Harry Potter is NOW, are you aware that at least 7 publishing houses turned it down before it was published?…so plenty of people thought it wasn’t even worth publishing.
You’re entitled to your opinion but don’t dress it up as a list of reasons why someone shouldn’t read it. Oh yes and if it was really as bad as you claim it to be then you wouldn’t
have bothered to finish the book let alone the entire saga!…I have put many a book down after the first chapter because it was dreadful… perhaps you should have done the same and then we wouldn’t have been exposed to this lame and ridiculous list of INCORRECT ‘reasons’ not to read it.
bwahaha! you sir/madam are a brilliant genius! and i mean that in the most sincerest way! i thought i was the only one who thought this series was CRAP. all of it was just totally utter rubbish!
btw
Go Death Note! and I’m pretty sure L doesn’t approve either…. just saying cuz well he’s a genius much like your self.
thanks and i pretty much love ya! haha
~GenmetsuReikou
Number 11 and number 19 are contradictions no matter what you think of the book. That annoys me.
…I applaud you for this.
“Light Yagami doesn’t approve of Twilight so neither should you.”
This whole thing made me laugh ridiculously hard, but that one just killed me.
I actually enjoy the series, but this was incredible. You’re pretty much spot on with everything. I particularly loved number 66.
I didn’t read the book, and I don’t care what anyone has to say about it. This blog hidden deep within the internet got more attention than most things of actual importance do. More than 400 posts telling one another that “your opinion is wrong.” Don’t waste your breath, read what you like to read. Do not stem your life or your what you believe from a popular series of fictional books about vampires. And for christ-sakes, OP, if you consider things like ’she tries to kill herself when he leaves,’ & she can’t do anything without him, then you’ve already lost.
go kira!
too many people i know have only gotten half way through the book.
Nice thoughts. You’ve clearly thought about this carefully.
You do realize that by having so many complaints about the book(s) you have actually read them? I think that Kind of defeats your objective in complaining.
But maybe that’s just my outlook on the subject.
LMAO, Some are so true, but thats one of the things you have to love about twilight,
Its meyers first and she’s good, she has room to improve and I look forward to reading more of her books.
you have some good points, i have always prided myself on being able to read just about anything, and what i couldnt i put it up and read another and then went back to it, but i could not get past the first page of the book no matter what i tried, it was just…..idk. The main problem i have is the Ed. obsessed fan girls i have to be around
I thoroughly enjoyed them! But I have never read Vampire Genre and have no interest in them, so for me comparing was irrelevant. The movie was not enjoyable however. But that’s nothing new when books are made into movies, the book is generally better.
I agree that everyone is truly entitled to their own opinions, and that will never change-especially on the internet.
However, I do find it quite funny and pathetic that you are targeting a book aimed for pre-teens that became more famous than expected,and congratulations for Stephanie Myer for nailing it right on the head!
There are better writers out there and there is much more imaginative plots but at the end of the day no-one fources you to read the series!
Yes, i do agree that Twilight seems to have spewed up all over the internet, but if it annoys you so much then stop talking about it-one less post about it to deal with then.
you have some good points, i have always prided myself on being able to read just about anything, and what i couldnt i put it up and read another and then went back to it, but i could not get past the first page of the book no matter what i tried, it was just…..idk. The main problem i have is the Ed. obsessed fan girls i have to be around
To say that neither Edward nor Bella have any flaws is ridiculous…have you actually read the books? Edward clearly has a huge ego due to the fact that he can read minds and thinks he’s heard it all. Bella clearly has emotional issues because of her relationships with her parents (and let me tell you, there are PLENTY of parents like Charlie out there), which may be partly why she’s so dependent upon Edward. Not to mention that Edward really is a terribly selfish being to not stay away from her when he knows how dangerous it can be for her, and Bella is willing to throw away her soul to spend eternity with him. If that’s not flawed, I don’t know what is.
Most of your reasons are not even valid critiques of the book…such as numbers 4, 5, 9, 21, 28, 29, 30, 31, and 89-95, just for starters. More than half your reasons have nothing to do with the book and everything to do with either Stephenie Meyer’s personality, quotes from people who don’t like the book, or attacking those who do like the book. In this list, I’d say there’s maybe 15 valid points (none of which you explained adequately). If you’re going to bother making a list like this, at least back it up instead of just saying “Harry Potter’s better.” Okay…explain to me why Harry Potter is better?
Is Twilight the next War and Peace? Is Twilight the next Pride and Prejudice? Of course not. It was written merely to entertain pre-teens and any other romantics at heart. I enjoyed reading the books, because it was strictly entertainment. I am completely insulted by your statement in number 61: “ALL Twilight fans are insane…”
Because clearly, I’m not.
Also, you may want to start a list: 95 Reasons why Sarah’s List Makes Her a Hypocrite (grammatical errors, it’s flawed, it’s not well written, etc.). If you’re going to pick on someone, then make sure you don’t have those same flaws.
Although there are quite a few legitimate reasons why some people hate Twilight, I have to admit that I love it. I will acknowledge the fact that it is not written so well, but it doesn’t matter to me. I enjoy it. It makes me happy. I am entirely aware that this book will never win a Pulitzer and the movie will never win an Oscar, but it is not meant to. This book was not written to do so. It was written to give girls (and yes I know a few straight guys who love it, also) an interesting love story to read. Yes, some fan girls take things too far, and that makes the rest of us seem insane, too. But believe me when I tell you that there are indeed a few intelligent, college girls who thoroughly enjoy this saga.
I have to say, I kind of agree with Allison when she wrote that “there are indeed a few intelligent college girls who thoroughly enjoy this saga”. I’ll be honest, when I first read these books, I did fall under Edward’s spell. It isn’t hard to see why, especially for us college girls who have had our hearts broken: a guy who lives just to protect you is, let’s face it, kind of alluring. Now, almost a year later, I could not be more sick of hearing about this series. The movie was laughable (although Jasper’s baseball trick was sexy), and I want to gag every time I see something about the stars. Anyways, the series doesn’t do it for me anymore. And while I don’t want to sound like some concerned parent, because I honestly don’t really even like children, it does kind of irk me that Bella has become some sort of heroine for girls. Young girls have enough moronic “role models” as it is. Can we please not force feed them another one? I guess I think girls should maybe wait to read this until they are a little older and can fully recognize how ridiculous the love story is. I keep wondering what’s gonna happen when Bella and Edward get sick of one another? I mean, do they LITERALLY not change, emotions and all? If so, then I’m burning my copies, because that is just absurd. My advice? If you want a REAL vampire love story, check out “Let the Right One In”. That is love, boiled down to its most basic elements. None of this “he’s hot so let’s overlook the fact that he’s a murderer” junk. Ugh. My one positive thought on “Twilight”: it is definitely brain candy. When the world is getting me down, or I feel like maybe I’ve been thinking too much, I know I can turn to Bella and for a few hours, pretend to be a mindless, gibbering (I’m talking to you Kristin Stewart; that hospital scene was atrocious) idiot. Ah, sweet, sweet bliss.
here is one to add to the list, the only reason the books became so popular is because of the movie, I read the first book like two years ago and it just became popular this year…thats sad
Here’s where I agree with you:
Yes, it’s cheesy and Edward is the embodiment of the guy many girls can only have in their dreams.
Yes, people have gone completely insane over this book, but it’s happened before with a book you laud so profusely in this post–Harry Potter. It went so far with those books that the church actually tried to ban it, and some churches were successful. Don’t get me wrong, I like Harry Potter, but all that trouble over fictional words?
Here’s what I think you should know:
The battle between vampires and werewolves is not original, you’re right. But it’s not like she saw it on myspace and took it. Watch Van Helsing. Who are the only ones who can kill a vampire in that movie? Werewolves. I think there may be some basis in legend there, much like in Harry Potter with many of the creatures.
Yes, most certainly, you are entitled to your opinion just as much as a Twilight fan (which I am not. I’ve seen the movie, thought it was pretty good, but a bit cheesy, and Edward seemed quite stalker-ish until he finally got together with Bella. And guess who in my house wants to buy the movie and read the books? My fiancee. By the way, he’s a guy.), this doesn’t mean that stating your opinion includes making fun of those who defend their own opinions (which, you make clear, they are entitled to). State your opinion. Some of your points are funny, but don’t insult the people who don’t think like you. That’s just foolish.
In conclusion, sure, it’s not a masterpiece, but it does what books are meant to do: it gives its readers a world in which they can place themselves and relate to the characters. Let them have that, just like people allow you to enjoy the books you read. You could have spend the time gathering this information (you actually asked random people on the street?) doing something productive with your life. Keep that in mind for the next time you decide your life just isn’t interesting enough and you think you need to anger others for entertainment.
Good luck
LMAO !!!
I’m so glad someone said something about the spider monkey line! That was the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. In fact it will probably remain in history forever because of its stupidity. I do have to be honest and say that I did enjoy the books, but I also laughed a lot while reading this.
THANKS
Although I agree with you and I don’t think the Twilight series is quality literature, if you want your criticisms taken seriously I don’t think it’s a good idea to include petty arguments like “it’s stupid” on your list. Some of your points are right on, though!
although i don’t like twilight as much as the next guy, i found almost all 95 reasons extremely dumb. how many goddamned times do you need to repeat that the vampires sparkle, bella has no personality, or that you don’t like that edward is “hot” in the book? these “95 reasons” could easily be compacted into 20 actual good reasons. how can you count #95 for instance. one of your 95 reasons for disliking a book being that you wrote 95 reasons for disliking it is contradictory. You critiqued bad writing with more bad writing, splendid
I agree with this blog. I think Twilight and all the other books are overrated.
Nice statements made.I totally agree with you.But I dont get why you said fangs were never talked about in the story when it talks about it when Bella talks to Edward about it.
Can’t even read the whole first book, to plain for me. Besides, who can read a book about whiny teenagers. Teenagers fall in and out of love everyday in the world, and then most try to kill themselves over it. *get over it* Im so sick of ‘Twilight this, and Twilight that’ *ugh*
I have to agree with sarah and allison. I read this book for the first time in for a college course, and then had to create a teaching unit based on this book. While it may not be the “best” book in the world, it has it’s possibilities. I enjoy the books because I understand the difference between reality and fantasy. I am not insane because i enjoy light reading. I just have different priories in my reading material. Its good to relax once in awhile, and not have to worry about analyzing what I’m reading.
You do realise that every single one of your points is what is commonly known as COMPLETE AND UTTER RUBBISH? Ok, you say that it isn’t a proper vampire book because it is clean, then that it is too adult for ten-year-olds (I read it when I was ten; have I been scarred for life? Except for where James bit me, no.). You also say that it is cliche, and then reprimand Meyer for ‘not obeying the rules’. And these are just two examples! I don’t mean to be rude (it’s just a compulsion), but do you have some kind of obsession with oxymorons?
it was good
4 and 5 are the most crappest reasons ever! If you READ new moon, you’d know she jumped of the cliff because she was cliff diving, and Jacob wasn’t there. She did the adrelaline jump to hear Edwards voice, so to be honest read first ok? and Bella is NOT stephanie, she clearlt stated that she worte this series baed on a dream of a girl and vampire in a meadow, and wrote that scene first. To be honest, all of the above reasons were complete nonsence. I, am one of those twilight obsessive fans, and to be honest, whats wrong with liking something. Its like me finding out what YOU like and critizing it, wouldn’t like it would you? No so leave the twilight saga, stephanie meyer (an AMAZING first time novelist) the cast and everything about twiliht alone. Like my mum says, if you havent got anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
All fans need to get a life becuz this book sucks!
Ok, so maybe Twilight isn’t the best book in the world. But, seriously, if they tortured you THAT much, than why did you read all four? I myself used to love the books, but then I discovered that they were all the same thing. Edward. But when you wrote that you aren’t considering that some people who LOVE the books may read that. Think about it.
Wow, I’m pretty sure about ninety-two of those reasons aren’t real justifiable reasons at all. Twilight isn’t all that great of a book, but this article is a bunch of meaningless, unsubstantiated, tautological crap, if you ask me.
Holy crap… There are more worthless comments from today alone than there is article! That means this is really really really good! And it is. While it seems five or so of the reasons stated weren’t real reasons and were just thrown in for fun, this really did state, in essence, why Twilight is crap.
You forgot to mention that they bite on the wrist. I have never heard of vampires biting someone on the wrist to suck their blood. Being poisonous is a maybe, but the wrist is a no-no. They go for the neck.
Way to go on the ‘no plot development’ reasons. That hit the series dead on. I wish that people would get that worked up over a book, series, movie, or TV show with any real backround instead of brainless romance, stupidly thought out plots, and expensive special effects.
Spoiler: This article is meant to be funny everyone! Laugh at it, cry at it, piss yourself and have a stroke because your so goddam obsessed with Twilight, just shuddap and stop complaining. No one wants to hear/read you complaining about how this hurt your feelings. Give some constructive criticism at the very least if you want to complain. Retards.
this is hilariousnesses i tottly agree with you.
ur reasons for hating it are justified
BUT i actually have read the twilight saga many times
u porbli fink im wierd now
buh why are you giving other ppl reasons for not reading it, yh its a frikin shyt peice of litriture and you find it so damn annoying but broadfcating tht on the net is just LAME
people dnt read for others
so ppl STOP having a dig at books everyones diffrent and i find this tottly takin the p***
You know what!? What is ur problem guys??
TWILIGHT… is an AWESOME… book!!!!!***
Unlike all of you out there who says it sucks!!
But that’s just my opinion!
Even though i read all the books i do think that some of your reasons are funny and totally true. I think that to many people are obsessed wit it.
Harry Potter was willing to sacrifice himself to save the world. Edward watches girls sleep at night.
to the guy above me:
lolz man yet so true
truth be told i love twilight i thought that it was a great movie and although some dont think so i love the movie aswell. but just because i love the book doesn’t mean i can’t bash it. bella is the manliest girl i have ever seen apart from a girl at my old school. i think this list was freakin.
i lovee twilight to be truly honest with u. i don’t think anyone should bash the book just b/c they don’t like it. they just have to deal with it and move on with thier figgin lives!!!! i mean come on the posts you had were totally unnessacery!!!!!! people need to deal with the fact that others, like me, love the books and the movie!! people shouldn’t bash the books as i already said.
i mean i love the movie and the book
I liked the books, but I totally agree with you. There’s way too much hype and it doesn’t stack up WHATSOEVER!
Plus, all those stupid people that say it’s better than Harry Potter.. News flash, NOTHING will ever compare to Harry Potter. =]
your insane the book was beyond perfect it was better then gone with the wind although i think your right about jasper and alice she doesn’t talk alot about them and there characters are realley interesting…
soo true i hate twilight it so stupid people are obsessed
I loved Twilight but could not get into the rest of the books. I agree with 13. I mean its so true but most of your other examples are repeats, quotes which dont prove to be evidence that Twilight is dumb, and or jokes. This was very piontless. Your word would be more stronger and you would win over more people to hate twilight if you acctually made a research paper with correct proof. Here are some examples i have a problem with.
: 15. He leaves Bella out alon because she has proven to be responsible and thats how it ussually is when your a teenager with one parent to live with.
34. This is an example of no proof! Hello its called their fans!
35. She is trying to get rich or become a famous writer of course the plot is goin to drag on. She wants to spread out her ideas for more books.
my last example i will critize even though there are more is..
60. Carisle is saving them. If you were dying and your what 40, he would save you if he was real.
Thank you.
~ This piece of writing was inspected by Victoria Wright the writers critic.
Even though i disagree your writing deserved 3 stars.
Yo guys, chill..
This is just a book.. No im not a twilight crazy fan, or an anti-twilight, im a neutral (though i do hate kstew as Bella)but i just think you’re making suc a big deal out of it..
unless, it’s all for the lulz
OK. I do like the books, but not as much as some of my friends. Anyway, you say the same 10 thing like all 95 times. Example:
25. Her vampires sparkle. Enough said
48. Straight men sparkle?
51. Edward Cullen is sparkly; crows like sparkly thing
Ok we get it. You think it is weird that Edward Sparkles. WE GET IT! Also, the following is not a reason!
88. You are allowed to have your own opinion, just like we are allowed to have ours. Get over it. Twilight fans don’t seem to understand that though and attack at the mention of flaw in the book.
And isn’t number 14 the whole point of this list?
14. It’s stupid
I agree that Harry Potter kicks Edward’s butt, and i hate the movie.
“9. The world population will come to an end because all girls who read this book will think they are Bella and will wait for their Edward to come until they are old. And he’ll never come.”
So you think the only purpose of females, your own gender, is to have kids? What if we don’t want to have kids?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“This book contains no real sex, so it’s not really a vampire novel.”
And yet you say Bella is the shallow one. Ha.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Why is it called the Twilight Series if only one book is titled Twilight?”
That’s what series are called. The clique series, the series of unfortunate events, etc. Common sense.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Stephanie Meyer must really be into pedophilia: first Edward and Bella, now Jacob and Renesseme? SPOILER.”
You don’t say SPOILER after u SPOIL it. That’s just stating the obvious. Either that, or you just don’t understand – we read left to right, top to bottom. And the countless times you’ve said SPOILER like that? (cont. below)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You don’t have to describe the character every two pages, we know all about Edward’s ‘perfectly toned chest’ the fourth time she mentions it.”
Accusing the book of being repetitive? Look who’s talking.
I’m just going to say it. Twilight was a horrible book and movie and we should all buy the series just to rip it apart and burn it in the streets. I’m not against those who like twilight, its just that you don’t just like it your addicted to it. All the girls at my school have Twilight shirts and sweatshirts and have the book at all times. If they had to let go of the book to live I think they would gladly die. I don’t think this of all Twilight lovers just the one at my school who cuddles the book like a teddy bear.
Heres the main reason I hate Twilight: Meyers is a terrible writer but is getting all this publicity and money even though there are way better writers out there who actually deserve it.
Don’t love it, don’t hate it.
To Twilight haters : Enough with the mean burns. They can like whatever they want. There’s no reason to be rude to the author, either. She never expected the book to be this big, anyway. Gosh, this book is to be read and enjoyed. You’re not supposed to get anything out of it, no life lessons or morals or life changing revelations. The point was to enjoy reading a book.
And to Twilight fanatics: It’s only a book! It’s NOT REAL. Deal with it. No reason to have your life revolve around it. It’s not healthy to be obsessed with a fictional character. There’s also no need to be so defensive if a person critiques one minor detail of it. Meyer is a decent writer, but you can;t deny that the book has may flaws. Just read it, like it, and be done.
And to all you poeple who waste your time arguing about a book: LEAVE EACH OTHER ALONE! Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but there is no need to be extreme when trying to tear down the other side. I pity anyone who would take the time to be involved with all of this BS. Just leave it.
Rant much eh?
Aha, I laughed numerous times at this.
I want to high-five you for making this.
But the BEST reason has to be reason 66!
Hilarious!
I can’t thank you enough for posting this!
:3
… i love you.
Bra.Vo.
You are amazing and I couldn’t agree more with all the reasons above. Love #66 the most
Now, I have not read the Twilight series, and I have no intention to. In my own opinion, it is a Wanna-be Harry Potter spin-off. But HP was better. But it was a fad. Just like Twilight. Its an easy way for the author to make an easy million bucks, but that is where the puck ends.
In 5 years, all the Twilight lovers will look back and realize, “Jeez, I was so immature.”
please do read my poems .they pretty good.really
twilight sucks. and the three books that follow it.
all 95 were great but #81 was the best.Chuck Norris would kill ed in less than one one millionth of a second.
Chuck Norris RULES!!!!!
Stephanie Meyer is a FIRST TIME WRITER! comprende? She woke up from a dream, with NO writing experience what so ever and wrote. Within 3 weeks, twilight was created. Twilight fans like myself LOVE the series because of the great PLOTS AND STORY LINES! The books are brilliant, and if not, why have millions across the world read them ? I could start bashing something you PERSONALLY love ok? please respond so I can start. I will run with my awesome vampire abilities to Volterra, Italy and provoke the Volturi and blame you. Demitri will track you using your brain waves and your senses will be cut of by Alec and you will be tortured by Jane ok? haha. boo sucks to you suckers (: btw, if you hate the twilight series so much, why waste i don’t know, blog space and DAYS writing a 95 point list. And YOU personally have obviously read the books MORE THAN ONCE to pick up the knowledge to make these accusations. So if you hated them so much the first time, why re-read? Ok, thats all, I am obviuosly not looking for a arguement but I am argueing my point. (which is right mwahaha)Goodbye. Leah Clearwater.
To the reason number 25. SHE DOES USE THE WORD FANGS IN ECLIPSE. Jacob asks Bella what it is like to have Edward. SO READ BEFORE POSTING CRAP!
wow, a lot of responses.
I thought your list was funny.
I personally have read the first book, and I own the second and third — haven’t gotten around to reading those though.
I’m a sixteen year old girl, and I thought it was alright.
it certainly should not be held to very high literature standards, in comparison to real works of art such as dickinson or twain, and I don’t think most people understand that.
for a TEEN hokey pokey novel, it’s alright.
for a book in general, in comparison to all books, it’s about a two on a scale of ten.
it’s simple, everything is laid out for you.
no need to think about metaphors or symbolism or parallelism.
it’s just there.
Ok I read the book and liked it , now I don’t like ur good and ur right p.s. Chucks Norris couldn’t take Edward, why would a guy like Chuck Norris even try to fight Edward knowing Edward stood no chance and it would just waste his time
Wow, I just read comment number #455, and wow. Some people really need to be checked out to a doctor if they honestly believe they have magical vampire abilities, or have vampire friends.
Anyways – I have not read Twilight, only been told about all the ‘amazing plot twists’, and honestly, they aren’t that great. I don’t know why Meyer (being a first time writer as someone pointed out) would go for a romance novel about NOTHING.
I really wish people would just shut up about how great Twilight is. Jeez. I agree with miss Sarag btw.
You really need to grow up and accept that if some people like it, than they like. Oh and you should think of better excuses that “Since when to straight guys sparkle” if you want to make the list this long. Grow up.
all of these reasons are the same ones i’ve been telling my edward obsessed classmates. if you think about this logically, the books make absolutley no sense and im tired of the twilight craze.
ugh.
another reason why i hate the books:
in breaking dawn, jacob imprinted on renesmee. she is a half-VAMPIRE, half-HUMAN. to me, it makes no sense on how jacob could imprint on the Human side of her, when she has 2 sides. werewolves and vampires are common enemies, no sense and frankly, twilight can kick rocks.
my new books- The Mortal Instruments trilogy-By Cassandra Clare. actual good writing and its not deficient like twilight.
agreed.
the book needs a 5th addition.
edward finally touches jacobs penis, and realizes ‘hey that was pretty cool’
wow u really hate the books i never watched the show movie watever nor read the books. they dont really intrest me
Haha. A lot of these are true, and 53 and 56 made me laugh. Yes, they are really badly written (Mary Sue red alert!) and they are complete trash, but…I liked them. A couple of things annoyed me, like the “no sex before marriage” thing when neither of the characters are religious, and the convenience of Bella’s amazing self control in Breaking Dawn etc. etc. but they’re good when you have nothing else to do and can’t be bothered to think about what you’re reading.
You’d never tell I’m a literature student…I should be ashamed!
ummm i do have to agree with like maybe 2 reasons but this “95 reasons” suck big gorills ones!!! most of your reasons repeat themselves over and over and over… and you siad the book was predictable….pshh please
Ok my friend was looking this up and I have something 2 say, YOU ALL must be ppl with NO life if your going 2 waste ALL ur time reading and writing this. *NEWS FLASH* – everything this retard wrote is NOT TRUE!So u all r just WASTING UR TIME ON THIS HORRIBLE SITE! So all u life-wasters reading this crap, just 2 let u no AGAIN its NOT TRUE! Im a fan of Twilight, and im sticking up 4 it because all this crap is fake and stupid.
TO: HORRIBLE RETARDED SITE
Uhh ive never read Twilight, but I hate it because it justannoys me
And to everyone who is attacking this page, why? 2 Questions
1. She only wrote this to voice her opinion, so if someone hated your opinion, how would feel?
2. Why are you even SEARCHING I hate twilight XD Just and ideaa.
you now what!!!!!!!!!!!WHY DID THEY EVEN MADE TWILIGHT IF NO ONE LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!UGH!!!!!!!IM GOING TO KILL THAT PERSON WHO DID THIS….WELL ILL BE IN TRUBLEH ….BUT IT IS WORTH IT!!!
Although I myself thoroughly enjoyed the Twilight saga, I find your list extremely amusing and will not proceed to make childish threats because you insulted something I like. As you said in your list, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It would be ridiculous to think by threatening or insulting someone in return that it’s going to make any difference to anyone’s opinion (well only their opinion of yourself, because afterwards, everyone’s going to think you’re just some Twilight-obsessed teenie without an actual life or properly functioning mind.)
Twlight is a digusting book and a terrible movie. Even people who haven’t read the book wouldn’t understand what in the hell is happening in the movie. The author has to get some writing skills because she clearly, sucks. Bella, weak and scrawny. Edward, gay and just plain stupid. “Night in shining armor” type of crap. Twlight sucks and so do the fans.
i like reading the book and adore the characters but the 95 reasons is just hilarious XD fans shouldn’t take this seriously since taste in book is a matter of opinion XD lolz. good work, mate.
Billy Mays approves of this message
I keep wanting to clobber the Twilight fangirls with my leatherbound copy of Stoker’s /Dracula/, shouting “THIS IS HOW YOU DO VAMIPRES!” Then I want to shove a copy of Charlaine Harris’ /Dead Until Dark/ into their hands – THAT’S how you do vamps and weres in the same book!
Crazy fen make me all stabbity…
SMeyer SAYS her Mormonism has nothing to do with the books – but her protagonist is a completely subservient female who has met her “fated” soulmate. Sounds Mormon to me.
Why is Edward a nice vampire?
I think the series would be a heck of a lot better if the cullens were evil. And junkies. That’d be hilarious.
Stephanie Meyer isn’t a very good writer. She only lobs in the occasional unpronouncable word.
THis book was so stupid.
The second you say “Twilight sucks” you have a angry mob of Edwars loving freaks at your feet saying “DONT MAKE ME SEND THE VOTURI ON YOU!”, who the hell is the volturi???
AshleighTheWolfchild: vampire enforcers, roughly.
I respect you for voicing your opinion, but I really liked this series while I agree with some of your views.
(by the way: I do know that there will never be a real life Edward)
Okay, so I’m not some die hard Twilight fan. But, I do love the books. I think that Meyer did a great job. Besides, no matter what you say, Meyer is still getting rich and still has fans. Half of your “points” dont even makes sense. Half of them contradict eachother. And I spell very well and use correct grammar. And whats with the sex thing? You must be one of those mindless morons that thinks that sex makes everything better. That’s why movies always have so many sex scenes, because of idiots like you. This is why there are so many pregnant girls, people think that sex is just a parkt of life. The book didn’t have sex in it, DEAL WITH IT. And Edward and Bella do eventually have sex, Meyer just doesnt elaborate on it.
its stupid to get so worked up over opinions.
funny.
i was all but peeing myself the whole time i read this.
its obvious she isn’t serious, people. good lord.
I LOVED Twilight. But reading through this was semi entertaining. You did however, use the same points multiple times and some were quite ludicrous.
These things basically appear on the internet for any series that becomes a movie. I believe there was a few about Harry Potter somewhere. I’m sure these lists will dwindle shortly, just like the HP ones did. Also, trying to say that the world is going to end for those waiting for their Edward, the same thing happens for girls with their prince charming. Yet, they will grow up and move on.
For those people that love Twilight and are upset about this, move on. As goes for those who hate Twilight. Like someone said before, it’s the internet. If you don’t like the oppinions expressed, close it.
LOL i loved it
Haha. I loved this! It was hilarious. I actually like the series [ dont ask me why. ]amd i agree with all of this. ALL OF IT. Especially 84. So true. And the one about Harry Potter being much better. I have countless discussions a day about that with crazy Twilighters.
… … ….. shut up. =/
what happened to your imagination?
stephenie meyer is an amazing writer and storyteller, so just get over it. jealous much?
Loved this!!! I haven’t read the books YET, I guess I will just to have an informed opinion, BUT if the movie is the reflection of the greatness of the book… well…
If we talk about vampire stories written within the las 5 years, I would rather watch True Blood ^^
I love how all these people are getting mad at you for voicing your opinion. Honestly Dracula could kick edwards butt any day should also be on there. And people chill dont tell this person they need to grow up, when your the ones getting mad and yelling at them for having an opinion.
Also if i had the time i would do the same thing, they just didn’t like the book and they gave 95 reasons why, there’s those people who love it why dont you come up with 95 reasons why you love it instead of hatting on this person
kthanksbye
You know what, I still can’t believe you guys thought of all those reasons! Because you know what? TWILIGHT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!! AND THOSE OTHERS WHO SAY THAT EDWARD IS THE MOST PERFECT GUY ON EARTH, YOU’RE WRONG ‘CAUSE HE’S FICTIONAL!!!!
WAKE UP!! I seriously love this list. Am I allowed to put it into my newest fan fiction?
I actually enjoyed reading the book, but after a few times I agree with a lot of the items there. And I HATE how now it’s this huge media frenzy and girls are all obsessed over Edward Cullen. GET OVER IT LADIES, the man you fall for with not be a vampire and he will NOT be “perfect”. Everyone has flaws, and I feel bad for the man the obsessed twilight fans fall for because they’re gonna have a huge standard to meet. Oh, and Bella is an annoying, selfish brat who doesn’t even enjoy the fact that she has a sexy vampire and a pretty damn cool life. But I like the way it was written and I do love the story line, but I wish it was a little better
HAHAHAHAHAHA
I COMPLETELY agree. I made a few lists myself of specific reasons WHY Twilight sucks. Just so I had something else to do while every other stupid teenage girl was gushing about how “amazing” it is.
To all you fans that Love this book Screw you i never read this book but watched the movie there is nothing bad about vampires and they sparkle in the sun they cant die unless you rip their heads out… and pretty much the Movie gives it all away nothing really else… and WE HAVE A LIFE WE DONT DRESS UP AS DOUCHE BAG VAMPIRES WANNA-BE’S and act all cool id rather Read something like Spiderwick Chronicals that has more Action(really) than twilight and why would you even look at this if you love The book?
who cares?
hahahahaah
everybody has a edward cullen!
I’m not a big fan of the books either, but really this list could’ve been 15 things. Your reasons were often redundant or completely insubstantial. If you want to criticize something, try to sound more intelligent than what you’re criticizing.
I love this list. ^_^
This entire list was an epic win, and I agree 100%.
I couldn’t stand the series. I read the first two books when they came out and never bothered touching the other two… though I hear Meyer saved all the particularly lolful stuff for the latter installments. As a writer, I’m kind of insulted that something so badly written was published, let alone fawned over.
I am a reader of Twilight and while I do enjoy the books of the series. I TOTALLY give you kudos on the ability to nitpick TWILIGHT’s every flaw. That was dire sarcasm by the way.
Every book has it’s flaws.
Even though Twilight produces a newly-dressed but common plot, it does not mean it is not enjoyable for other people. Every author has their style and every person has their reading level. If you are a person of a higher level of reading and are into complex plots and literary works, then yes, I would not recommend Twilight as a read. But simplicity has it’s own beauty in my opinion. I’ll admit it is a nice, simple book that pleases me and I don’t mind taking a break from more advanced literary works to chill out and read it.
Despite everything, I laughed a lot with this list as it pointed out things I didn’t notice before. I frowned at some and laughed at others. For that I do give you real kudos. Haha, keep up the good work but keep in mind that while you are entitled to your opinions, we are also entitled to ours.
I like to think that Twilight fans should be able to laugh at ourselves a little bit because, all in all, Twilight is just catering to our every fangirl wish and I don’t see why we should be ashamed to indulge like that. Lighten up everyone, there’s a little humour in everything we do.
I forgot to add one last thing onto my post. Whoops!
There are some people who, I admit, do take it in all too seriously, but there are a few people like myself that like to indulge a little bit and laugh at the book’s and our own expense because really? What else would we do?
Keep writing lists in anycase, I need my laughs in the morning.
hahas, i love this and i actually finished all 95, considering i am not very persistant when it comes to such things, and am quoting it (:
to #380, Lindy, u r awesome lol! i read this page, and i was like…this person has either not read the books, or didnt pay attention to them.
some things i would like to say:
4. She doesnt commit suicide actually, she cliff dives. completely different.
21. Real sex, errmm, last time i checked this was a teenage fantasy/romance, not a porn magazine from a top shelf!
26. Her vampires sparkle, it was this she had in a dream that she actually came up with the story.
32. obviously they can get them pregnant. It nice for someone to have a different view about something. just like Tolkien’s elves.
37. this is silly, looks like u r running out of things to say. people refer His Dark materials as Northern Lights.
39. drug reference to 10 year olds, since when has a 10 year old been a teen? plus i think everyone who reads this will know what it is anyway. o wait….i see some kids taking drugs around the corner, reason? twilight. suuuuuree…
51. u gonna mention sparkling anymore??
52. yes they do like it.
55. they dont fall in love too quickly, they dont actually say it to each other till 2nd book.
60. i think u r distrubing to even think anything of carlisle changing teenagers. i mean, i didnt even think about it, u have a strange mind. plus, he made them his family, i dont think a 40yr old would do well as a son. plus, they were dying before he changed them, Esme isnt a teenager.
67. since when does he hit on school faculty?
70. yea, think everyone in the world at least has a crush on a fictional character at some point, if it be from a book, film, anime…so on.
79. and u must be obsessed with pedophilia, how many times have u mentioned this?? if u read properly, u will read that jacob imprinting on renesmee means that they r soul mates. it does not mean that he is having sex with her when she is that age. it doesnt mean that he looks at her in a sexy way, or imagines himself doing things to her. she tells this in the book. seriously, if its such an easy book to read, why dont u read it properly.
if u hate it so much, ignore it. she may not be the best author in the entire world, buther books are a nice break from the real world, and is quite fun to read.
Prinze–she mentions sparkling so much and pedophilia because it’s a big deal. Real vampires don’t sparkle and aren’t the perfect bf/gf, they’re SCARY. And, pedophilia is wrong.
21. Yes, true. However, in the way that Meyer writes, it may as well be softcore porn anyway even if there is no sex in the first three books.
26. Real vampires don’t sparkle.
32. That is the PROBLEM. Meyer didn’t abide by the rules of her own universe that she created–which she should have, for everything to make more sense. She said that vampires couldn’t get pregnant and then, suddenly, they can! A little convenient, dontcha think? It’s not just a different view, they aren’t vampires at all–they’re vegetarians and they sparkle. Like I said above, ‘real’ vampires are very, very scary and they DRINK YOUR BLOOD. Take away that and add sparkles, they aren’t frightening at all and shouldn’t be called vampires.
39. I can definitely see this, and it isn’t a joke. Little kids have gone around biting people because of this book and leaving their windows open for Edward. Hooked on drugs won’t be that much of a stretch. People have been hit over the head with these books, verbally attacked, info has been deleted off their laptop, and so much more, just because they don’t like these books. I highly doubt that YOU realize how serious it is, how many crazy fangirls (and some fanboys) these books create.
51. Yeah–she mentions it so much because REAL VAMPIRES DON’T SPARKLE.
55. They ‘fall in love’ quite quickly, just because they didn’t say it ’til the second book doesn’t mean that it wasn’t so. And may I mention it isn’t love but an abusive relationship?
70. Well, duh–but we don’t run around buying everything and anything that has to do with our ‘crush’ and jumping and beating people up if they don’t like the book/anime/movie that has our ‘crush’ in it. And, we know how to spell. ^_^
79. See, this is what these books do to you if you start worshipping them–since when is imprinting on a little baby ‘okay’ because they’re ’soul mates’? So what if he doesn’t view her ‘that way’ YET the whole thing about imprinting is that it WILL happen so yeah, it’s disgusting.
It really gets on my nerves that when someone actually hits the nail on the head (of why these books are horrible, and of course she would repeat herself, it’s like ranting and when you want to really drive a point home, you deliver it well or you repeat it) people throw that “you must have not read them thoroughly enough” fudge around.
Can you REALLY that easily ignore something you hate, especially if so much of the world practically worships it?
I have read somewhere before that reading about the other vampire’s pasts would have been better than the romance- I just think that writing in first person isn’t the done thing anymore.
If the series was written in 3rd person we wouldn’t have to put up with Bella saying how many holes she has and how beautiful Edward is, every other paragraph- we would read the action and have a slight insight into all of the character’s heads instead of just one main. The fact that we would only here Bella’s thoughts in first person, is sort of tried to be made up for with Edward reading minds, and the werewolf pack too.
Other than that, it’s too dialoguey in between Bella’s whinging and aweing of Edward, to try to compensate for long periods of thought.
I read it fort he sake of reading it- when you reread a BOOK, you’re supposed to find something else new in it. doesn’t happen with Twilight- oh actually, I stand corrected! You find another reason to add onto the list above!
the themes are thrown in for dramatic purposes that are never fulfilled- there’s superficial use of suicide and drugs
at least harry potter series uses these properly- like potions as substance abuse and calling someone mudblood as racism etc
who ever hate twilight are freaks twilight is the best !!! edward is very hot and bella is cool,erm me and my sis had a very emotional cry at this so all you haters are freaks
Well, you are living up to your name–’mad Twilight fan.’
Just because someone hates/dislikes something does not make them freaks. I’m sorry you and your sister are so sensitive, but I have to remind you–anything you like, there is someone out there who hates it. It’s a fact of life.
A book is not good simply because its characters are ‘hot.’ That, to be frank, is quite shallow and means you honestly do not know what a good book is, if that is how you judge a ‘good’ book from a ‘bad’ book.
To be honest, I love the books. That may be though, because I recognize and appreciate them for the nonsense that they are and am old enough to know that a sparkly stalker is not fantasy material, even if Edward is totally a VILF. I don’t Bella was quite as one dimensional as you made out but point taken, and I wish characters like Jasper and Alice had been developed more, they did seem very interesting.
I did love the classic chick lit style and cut and dry happy endings – isn’t that what it was written for? Definitely not Kundera or even Kinsella, but cute enough
Not all Twifans are abusive, violent or ignorant!!! But we apologise for those who are
really, u lot are sad sad people. u lot want to hate twilight becos it was a big success and there were lots of fans but u just wanna be different just to be cool, or i dunno, maybe u want to think you are better than most people. but well, watever what makes u happy haters!
Smileyface … you are a typical fangirl (horrible spelling, accusing us of hating Twilight just because of its success, fudge like that) and it makes me very sad. I don’t care one iota that it was a big success or that it has a lot of fans. I care about the horrible writing style, the ’sparklepires’ (they are not real vampires) the bad messages it is giving teenage girls-and they are believing-and such.
OMG HOW DO YOU HATE TWILIGHT IT IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE THE NEXT MOVIE…SO WHAT IF THEY MAKE BELLA CLUMSY IT DOES NOT MATTER!!!!!!!!!! LIKE COME ON!!! AND WOULN’T YOU KNOW…NO DUA THAT THEY ARE NOT REAL VANPIRERS!!!!!!!! IT DORS NOT MATTER!!! WHAT MATTERS IN THAT MOVIE IS THE LOVE BETWEEN BELLA AND EDWARD!!!!!!!!! SO DO NOT EVER SAY THAT TWILIGHT IS A BAD MOVIE!!!!!!!!!!! EVERRRRRRR!!!!!!!
Twilight is a bad movie.
Last time I checked, vampire and sex weren’t synonyms.
It definitely makes sense how you say he has no flaws in 11. and then point one out in 19.
You forgot the most important point- Twilight is essentally Buffy The Vampire Slayer for brainless pre-teen girls who feel threatened by strong females and want non-sexually threatening guys to drool over.
Please kids; watch Buffy, read LJ Smith’s novels and stop dreaming about ‘White Knights’… Why should you wait for a guy to come into your life to ’save you’ from boredom?
Some of these posts are incredibly immature. No one is going to take Twitards seriously. They can’t even form a proper sentence, and their arguments are all the same. ” You’re just jealous!” Blah blah.
The Twilight series is terrible. We all have our opinions, and you don’t need to go rabid over a badly written book.
Butthurt fan girls, lol.
IMMATURE.
Clearly EVERYBODY has their own opinions. I am not a ” twilight ” fan , but i did enjoy the books. Just cause it was a good read ” to pass time ” !! tough some of things written on the list is true and very CORRECT. I still enjoyed the book , though i know IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN , MEYER has quite an imagination. CLEARLY if she was a ” BAD ” author as you say. The books would not have been published and she wouldn’t be “RICH” off such “HORRIBLE BOOKS” ..
one i don’t know, what there is to be JEALOUS of, many people can become creative and create such books like the TWILIGHT SERIES.
i find it very funny for those ” unforuntiate Girls ” who are madly INLOVE with such a false “FLAWLESS CHARACTER” who will never exist in this generation , or ANY generation to be EXACT! ..
Sorry TWIFANS. on that part.
But. overall, i still enjoyed the read (Y)
well ok. some are true.
and some are COMPLETELY STUPID
and some are REPEATS
so technically there isnt really 95 reasons why to hate it, because repeating doesnt count (y)
I’m 18 years old. I’m female. I’m sick of Twilight. I’m sick of Edward Bloody Cullen. I’m sick of screaming fan girls. I’m sick of screaming fan girls who are in love with a fictional vampire who SPARKLES (???) and resort to death threats when people tell them the truth about the “works of art” that these books supposedly are.
The books, put simply, SUCK. There really is no other way to say it.
Thank you for writing this. I agree with you 100%. I just wish more people did.
First of all, i’ve never read the books but i do have a rather hostile outlook on them due to the fact half the girls i know are frakking twilight-junkies…it’s scary, but anyways if this person wants to put down 95 resons it sucks in their opinion shouldn’t you let them say their opinion because you have said your’s? It’s just someone putting their opinion up so if you hate it why not make a diffrent 95 reasons why it’s good?
i totaly agree with everything u said. with one exception. Martin Luther was an antisemite (jew hater), so i dont take his oppinions to heart very often. i know, i know, he lead the protestant reformation and stuff, but he was still a racist.
and TWILIGT SUCKS!!!! no plot whatsoever!
Um I AGREE COMPLETELY!
The books were completely pointless and the biggest waste of my time.
LOL. super powers from reading.
the book was OKAY. but i noticed it did get annoying, and yes, some guys read twilight lol
Could YOU write a best selling novel?
yes i could izzy, if i had powers like alice, see, i knew you were gonna write that.
lol. stupid book
the difference between fiction and reality, is that fiction has to make sense. Some one should tell that to S. Meyer……
i only read the first book….and it wasn’t terrible…but a fluffy teen romance novel should be limited to under 300 pages.
I was “Agree, Agree, Agree” the whole way though! That was great =]
I especially liked “People say that Twilight is better than Harry Potter. Guess what? WRONG.” – I am a big Harry Potter fan!
Twilight = Epic Fail!
*Sorry, I meant to write ‘the whole way through’. I am getting my grammar wrong – please don’t blame me, I don’t feel well!
bull
this sux
you guys are dumb
crappy poo
little twits
thisisbull, come on! just because we don’t like twilight doesn’t mean we’re twits!
first of all
its tru
you are
argggghhhhh
if you guys love harry potter soo much go watch gossip girl
its 10 times better
yeah
go gossip girl
What’s Gossip Girl got to with Harry Potter or Twilight? Not every Anti-Twilighter here loves Harry Potter, I’m sure. Come to think of it, Harry Potter didn’t really have much to do with that list in the first place – but seriously!
GOSSIP GIRL IS THE BEST
people
loook inside your brains
we are meant to be talking about gossip girl
not some stupid twilight crap and litter
where are your brains?
oh, i know
down the toilet
and soon to be your face down there as well
if we dont change this gossip into gossip girls
people
WAKE UP!!!!
AHAHAHA
omigod, these made me laugh so hard. What’s sad is that I am a Twilight fan, and I’m mostly just laughing at my stupidity after reading these. You have several valid points though, my personal favorite being:
“If the firs 200 pages of your book relies on the mystery of a character’s identity, don’t slap ‘First, Edward was a vampire’ on the back cover.”
ROFL thank you for these. Twilight fans shouldn’t be so hardcore, laugh at the books and love em, I’ve learned to do both XDD
Twilight is the My Chemical Romance of fiction!!!
only you could think of these reasons not to like this book. Its a book and girls aren’t going to wait for ever to find their Edward Cullen. Have you found your Edward?
haha. i personally am a fan of the series but this is funny. and you guys have a few good points. like
“If the first 200 pages of your book relies on the mystery of a character’s identity, don’t slap ‘First, Edward was a vampire’ on the back cover.”
haha. people shouldnt get so damn serious about it.
so..good job!
=))
“Vampires can’t get people pregnant. SPOILER!”
Yes they can.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blade_(film)
Hahahaha! I doubt anyone will read mine since it’s at the very bottom.
Yeah, I agree with the whole Bella depending too much on Edward but I guess you get that when you read literature from a Mormon. I actually liked Twilight when I first read it, even though I found some of the lines really cheesy.I always wanted to read the next page because of the conversations yet I couldn’t stand how she went on and on about describing every little detail of Edwards stone face to every little tree trunk covered in moss (We don’t actually care) The plot went no where though and I really started to hate Twilight when all the teenage girl fans arrived and had nothing else to talk about at lunch time.
What really angers me is WHY THE HELL do they have to turn every damn book into a damn movie now a days. Why can’t people apply their imaginations? That’s what makes novels so precious or there’s actually no reason in reading them if you going to ruin it all and watch the movie instead.
Nice list. Mostly spot on. And while I know that some of you will disagree, I personally found Twilight rather twisted. I mean, since when has blood that smells like it would taste nice been the basis of any relationship? And stalker much, in essence telling Bella sleeps pretty? The premise would have worked better if it was meant to be messed up. The almost religious fanaticisim that this book instils in its fans is demonstrated by one of my fried’s ex. She told him that she wanted to have two kids; a boy named Edward and a girl named Bella, named after a chronically depressed emo and her sparkly vampire boyfriend… I rest my case
EPIC WIN! Hahaha. Have you read this: http://twilightsucks.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=fangirls&action=display&thread=5175
That would give you more reasons to hate Twilight.
I couldn’t stop laughing, all of it true.
The whole vampire falls for human girl and saves her and has a baby (or so I’ve heard, no clue is the baby is true) is so… 7th grade-9th grade teen girl angst late night writings of their long desires.
I completely agree!
Read Anne Rice, THOSE are vampires.
The Twilight vampires are a laughing stock…
what sort of vampire doesn’t DRINK BLOOD, LUST OBSESSIVELY, and HAVE MALICIOUS INTENT?!
seriously, people.
I have enjoyed reading the books and agree with a select few of the things tha thave been said (for instance, the ‘baby’ writting and bad use of adjectives). And I am also very happy that, once readng through the entire list, I came across “You are allowed to have your own opinion, just like we are allowed to have ours. Get over it. Twilight fans don’t seem to understand that though and attack at the mention of flaw in the book.”
I agree. We are all allowed to have and state our opinions. My opinion is that it is a good book in the fact that it has attracted so many people and fans. It was a page turner, though you may say only because you wanted to hear more ‘lameness’.
The major problem I have with the book is that it was written for intelligent people. Don’t get me wrong here. It was poorly written, but the plot was meant for people with developed brains. The fan girls who have come to love Edward should do just that. If they want to waste their life waiting for him… well that just tells me that they were mentally unprepared to read Twilight.
Some other things I don’t like are the sequels. Twilight was a fairly good book until the Baseball scene. I didn’t care for the James/Victoria nonsense. New Moon was annoying becuase she was sulking throughout the entire book. Eclipse and Breaking Dawn were quite revolting. Yet I read them. And from what you have said, so did you. That is the power of the series. Though you may not have realised it, it drew you in, if only barely. You kept reading becuase some aprt of you wanted to know what would happen. Of course, you might have wanted to know just so you could write this. But it did it’s job.
I enjoyed reading your list, though I would like to point out that there are quite a few times where you repeat yourself (if I were writing this, I would have done that to emulate the repetitivness of the series itself). There are also a few comments that have nothing to do with why you shouldn’t read Twilight. As a whole, I think you SHOULD read Twilight, not becuase it is compleling (which it isn’t at all times) or becuase it is written well (which it isn’t) or becuase everyone else is doing it. No, you should read it becuase it will allow you to view the style of many authors. You can take what you read and apply it to your own writing, and even your conversation and beliefs. You learn what you hate about certain books, and what you like.
On that note, I leave one question that bothered me the entire time I read the book: What happens when Bella is having her period? If Edward can’t resist her blood, then they have a problem.
FINALLY!! Someone who hates the book as much as I do…
I wasn’t even able to finish the first book, I hated Bella way to much…she’s a disgrace to women everywhere!! I hate her and her guts..
It amazes me how the girls at my school die over this series…ugh everywhere I turn I see another stupid cover/title which by the way never has anything to do with the book..
You’re right, Stephanie Myer does right like an amateur and it sickens me…
Furthermore you’re right…this also led to me hating the book… In the book.. did Stephanie Myer not say that Bella was plain, clumsy and ugly? Well… that’s what I remembered or maybe that’s just what I interpreted whatever she said as… but anyway if this is so… why were all the guys dying over her? Edward Jacob…the other dude from school? Really? Be realistic here..
I think its funny that you kept talking about how Meyers isn’t original, and kept repeating herself, when you did the same exact thing writing this list. If you are going to write a list, at least make valid points, other than that girls will stop liking boys because they aren’t Edward. I liked the books, and oddly enough I am not waiting for a sexy vampire to come sweep me off my feet. I also think its funny that you had to go to random people on the street just to make a longer list, to make it seem more impressive.
i love twilight, but you are so right….
oh my god you really dont have a life dont you?? jajajaja 95 excuses why you dont like twilight? LAME and by the way twilight is the best book ever! and stephenie is an awesome writer too , who the heck is steph king??? jaja i gotta admit some excuses are right but who cares?? twilight is so good!
by! love twilight !!
You could have written more!
Seriously…
…Okay, to the Twitard with the name ‘love twilight’…you seriously have no idea who Stephen King is? Wow, have you been living in a little bubble your entire life? Seriously?
I think the people criticizing you for having “stupid” reasons are stupid themselves. Most of the reasons you mentioned were purely meant to be looked act as satire, but several others can be seen as absolute truth. I’m sick of people getting butthurt because people are expressing their dislike for Twilight; even if it’s “just a book”, we still have the right to express our feelings on it, regardless if it’s not that serious or not. And fans, grow up. Not everyone was brainwashed into believing that Twilight is a wonderful series. (And by the way: TWILIGHT IS NOT A SAGA, IT IS A SERIES. GET IT RIGHT PEOPLE.)
most of the reasons are totally nonsense. there’s no book that’s good for everyone. each one has their own likes and dislikes. it’s just a book, if you don’t like it then read another one. there’s no need to make a very long list of why you hate it and telling others that they shouldn’t read it. please…not everyone hates it as much as you do!
if she used the word “fangs” in the story then it’s like saying “sleeping in coffins”. it was mentioned several times in ms. meyer’s interviews that her vampires are not like the legendary one’s. apparently it means that they are different from the vampires you think.
Just to make my pint absolutley clear if she writes that her vvampires are differetn to “the legendary ones” first of all does that mean she thinks these aren’t legendary then does that mean she thinks they are real? And secondly don’t call them vampires then!
I hate this book
SO DO I!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Smiling Silently…I couldn’t have said it better myself!
i hate twlight!
shhhhffeeet!
i love twilight its anwesome book and most of the peolple that posted commenst on this website havent even read it so how can u hate something u havnt even read???
i think that everyone that hates twilight so much needs to get a LIFE!
52. Do any guys actually like Twilight?
I do, actually (and I’m a guy). Unfortunately, that means nothing. I’ve trained myself to ignore terrible plots and bad grammar in order to enjoy a terrible story that gets embellished in my own brain. Hell, I read fanfiction. Like, bad fanfiction. Yeah. I agree with this post, even though I love Twlight.
Bella/Edward forever.
Also, disputing #27 : Supposedly Meyer never uses the word ‘said’ in the entire first book, instead using breath.
“I’m glad you like it,” Charlie _said_ gruffly, embarrassed again.” (bottom of page 8, if you’re interested)
Just a blatant lie. Good job.
I agree with you that this book is horrid and a bane to human kind, but if you are giving reason not to read the book you can’t use the same reason multiple times. Just like you argued that we know Edward is perfect after the 4th time being told you can’t use that argument 2 or 3 times, it is the same with the argument that he sparkles.
All written is spot on. Stephenie Meyer is a terrible story teller. Sparkling vampires? C’mon. But I’m positive she knew this will be a teeny hit. Never mind the characters will dull personalities, and excruciating predictable bad plot as long as it will titillate every teenage girls fantasies. Obviously, she just wants to get rich.
Agreed! I wrote exactly like Meyer when I was 12. As for the “love,” it took me a lot of years to realize that my marriage was not a Sweet Dreams romance and that sometimes my hubby can be a total dickface. Like any real man in any real relationship. This kind of crap just further warps our Disney-fed girls into unrealistic expectations. That’s my real fear here.
http://www.yudu.com/embed/library_item/56242
See the investigational report above on why Twilight needs to be banished!
Now, see, I agree with all your reasons, but I disagree with your conclusion. Your conclusion is that Twilight is bad. Nothing is objectively bad. Actually, you know what, by that logic, you’re right. Twilight is bad. It’s also good. It’s also horrible, great, average, and anything else a book could ever be, because book quality is a subjective variable that cannot be irrefutably determined. Twilight’s quality, and, for that matter, any quality, is a metaphorical superposition caused by multitudes of opinions. But it’s not objectively bad; it’s SUBjectively bad, and that’s why it can also be good without contradiction. So essentially, if these reasons denote a bad book to you, then don’t read Twilight, because it sucks. If you like the sound of these reasons, go ahead and read it, because it’s amazing.
first of all twilight SUCKS and if the 95 reasons obove aren’t enugh to prove it to u, just follow this link to my
bloghttp://www.classblogmeister.com/blog.php?blogger_id=225819&new_display_count=1000
(u might need to copy and paste)
and HARRY POTTER FOR THE WIN!!
if u want to ask me why hp rulz, ill tell u. it has one of the most intricit web of charicters i have ever seen. not only that but you could tell all sorts of things about the plot. like severus snape re-written looks like “pursues evens” (spoiler) and voldemorts wand is yew, which in mythology represents imortality. and malfoy means bad faith in french. and on and on and on….
does twilight have that? NO!!!!
twilight is one of the worst books ever written i agree with all of the reasons to hate twilight from 1-95.
ummm if you hate “The Twilight Saga” so much why would you write 95 reasons about the book??????
i am a twilight fan,
although i am not one of the crazy,
stupid ones.
but i am agreeing with nearly
everything you are saying.
but i also think that people who hate twilight
with such a passion don’t truly hate the books
as much as they say,
they may just not enjoy them and are annoyed
by the fact that all this hype has come from
these books when other, more skilled litriture is
not as famous as this.
ha ha This is so hilarious…I really liked the book until I read this and now I notice all the things you said and your totally right!! ha ha
OMG, I absolutely love these reasons xD I agree with almost everything. Good job!
And yeah…I’m a Twilight fan LOL xD.
SHOOT YOU!!!!twilight is the best book and movie!!!!!
umm to the person named love twilight….
tell me where you live so i can kill you…
you have no reason to live talking about this nonsense. Twilight is crap. The twilight movie is also… crap. And you my friend..
are the cousin of… you guessed it! CRAP!
I agree on almost all of the reasons, especially #10 and #65.
In my point of view, there are a lot of fans of Twilight and EDWARD because (1)everyone seems to be into it and others don’t want to be out-dated or behind; (2)Robert Pattinson, an eye-catcher guy, played Edward’s part; and (3)it’s made for teens and teens don’t really mind reading between the lines, all they care about is the “ROMANCE” part of the book.
I don’t really like Twilight. :/
i posted this in a bulletin on myspace and everyone told me to send it to you, so I am. It wasn’t ment to start anything at all. I like hearing what people think. I’m not one of the freaks who will try to kill you, promise. I liked twilight when I read it, just don’t really like the hype that comes with it. It’s gotten just a little out of hand. Just remember that when and if you read it(:
Okay so my sister sent me this website, and I thought it was quite funny, so Know myself I decided to defend the people who actually like twilight. The top will be this girl’s opinion, and the bottom will be mine(: if you’d like to read it.. go ahead, if not… I really don’t care. Have fun
Why I Hate Twilight
by Sarah Rebecca, Mar 19, 2009
95 reasons why you shouldn’t read Twilight, one of the worst pieces of literature ever written.
Bella is a perfect character (“Mary Sue”), which Meyer hides by calling her clumsy.
“Perfect Character” There is no such thing.
Being clumsy is not a flaw if Edward always catches her.
Edward doesn’t always catch her, must we go back to the scene in the movie where he drops her at the end? yepp, I’m gunna be a smartass.
She can’t do anything without Edward.
She lasted almost a whole book without him…. I’m pretty sure she did anything a normal person would do… Eat, breath, sleep, bathe, think.
And when he leaves she attempts to commit suicide.
Plenty of people, have done that, and Plenty of “good” novels have wrote about that, even movies, try wristcutters. AMAZING (:
Meyer is living out her own fantasies by writing about Bella, who is clearly herself.
And what is the crime here? Writers do that all the time. People who agree with this are just to sad to imagine doing anything but living their normal lives… how boring.
The books aren’t well written, just because every other word is a fancy adjective doesn’t make it good writing.
Well, then what is a good written book persay. There isnt a rubric to decide the perfect style of writiing, that’s why every freakin book is different. &It’s called well written because she uses very good imagry.
All the rules Meyer sets for being a vampire are broken by the end of the series.
Like what? I didn’t even know at the beginning there was a whole chapter titled “Thel rules of being a vampire, which also may never be broken”
Rules are broken all the time, so do even try that one. It happens constantly in those fariytales you were probably oh so fond of when you were a child, like Cinderella for example. She was not nobility and in the middle ages it was a great crime to even talk to someone outside you class.
Not only that, she breaks rules set by more esteemed authors.
Hahaha, this one is funny. Once again, there are no rules to writing books.
Seriously, if there were, we’d all know how a book would end if they all had the same “rules”
The world population will come to an end because all girls who read this book will think they are Bella and will wait for their Edward to come until they are old. And he’ll never come.
Females or males who believe that they will find Edward Cullen or a Vampire, I’m sorry, but get over yourselves and just think clearly. You’d be quite dumb to believe that, and I highly doubt that’d happen though.
Bella almost dies fifty thousand times, but Edward always saves her. This is
boring.
Actually it’s interesting, cause you never know if she’s actually gunna die one time.
Edward is too perfect and has no flaws either. Even vampires should have flaws besides wanting to suck human blood because it’s natural to them.
He has flaws with the way he sees himself. He thinks he is, a killer, and an awful being that has no soul, and just dies when he dies. His flaw would be his low self esteem.
The reason the books became so popular is because Bella has no personality and any loser can put themselves in her shoes.
Not true, it’s cause it is a love story that every girl dreams of. Most best selling books among females are novels written about love.
If Bella is so ‘plain’, why do so many guys fall for her within the first two chapters?
Quite possibly, because it is a small town, they’ve dated all the girls or their friends have, and have heard all the storys of the girls. Meaning that they want something new and unknown. I.e. Bella. Also, getting her, would mean that the guy to get her, would have status, that’s way they all try to get to her first.
Bella teaches women to let the man handle everything, which pretty much is a huge step backward for women everywhere, who have fought for equality.
Not truely, there are women out there that see, that the men should do everything, while the female worries about him. it’s not abnormal you know.
Isn’t it convenient that her father always leaves her alone and doesn’t question her? Real parents aren’t that way.
Hahaha, really. Real parents aren’t that way?! Bahahaha, wow, this person knows nothing of society. Do you not notice how many kids are into drugs, drinking, partying, sex and pregnant. It’s cause parents leave them alone, and don’t question them.
Lack of character development.
Uhh, actually many of the characters realize flaws within themselves or change throught the whole series…
Bella is a useless, whining, doll that suddenly has become the idol for girls everywhere.
Bella, an idol? No, I’d think not. Many girls veiw her as ugly.
People say that Twilight is better than Harry Potter. Guess what? WRONG.
Uhhh, I gotta agree with this one. Harry Potter is the shizz [:
Edward is extremely possessive, border-line abusive, and boring as anything.
It’s too cliché.
Boring? no you never know if he's like gunna get so pissed, not be able to control the possessiveness and anger issues he's got and just lose it, and kill bella. It could happen in all those vampire books you say set "rules". &wouldn't these also be flaws?
This book contains no real sex, so it’s not really a vampire novel.
This book was geared towards young readers. You wanna read or see a good sex seen got get penthouse or something, but don't complain about a book that is advertised towards the young ones. Parents are constantly complaining how their children know to much about that kind of stuff at a young age.
Read Anne Rice - those are vampires, not the girly men that Meyer has created.
Yeaaa, don't know Rice, but that was her version of vampires. &just because the Rice version of vampires came out 1st doesn't mean that if there were vampires they'd be just like the way they are written about in Rice.
You don’t have to describe the character every two pages, we know all about Edward’s ‘perfectly toned chest’ the fourth time she mentions it.
You said you wanted some sex appeal to the book. That's as close as you can get when it's for, oh yea, YOUNG READERS!
Bella reflects upon herself through the entire novel to tell important plot developments. Hey Meyer, ever heard of "Show, don’t tell"?
It's a book first of all, so she'd be telling it either way. She just chose Bella to tell it.
She never uses the word fangs in the entire book series, and it’s supposedly about vampire.
Just like I said, if vampires are real, how do you know what they'd look like. I could be one at this very moment, and I don't have fangs. There aren't real rules so stop comparing the books. They are two different veiws.
Her vampires sparkle. Enough said.
How do you know.... don't even gotta finish.
Supposedly Meyer never uses the word ‘said’ in the entire first book, instead using breath.
And you hate this cause?? It's that better writting thing you were talking about.
There is too much face touching.
&You don't touch peoples face and real life. Would you rather her not build up the tension by describing the kiss slowly and piece by piece and instead say, Edward leaned forward grab her boob, and made out with Bella. there.
It’s predictable, and childish.
So predictable, did you know she was going to have a kid? When Meyer had said it's not possible by one of her rules that you are suposed to go by.
We read the entire series just to laugh at the stupidity of it.
Well, it was entertaining wasn't it?? &that is the point of a book. &I bet you bought them, which ment Meyer got your money... now let's see who's the dumb one, & you doing this thing, just made her popularity go up, because for the people who haven't read it, they'll want to read it to see if what you say is true. You are quite intellegent, ya know that? [;
Meyer can’t think of original names. The only original name she used was Rennesme, which is combination of two names and doesn’t count.
Go read any book about the 1800's, there is atleast one person named Elizabeth, and a male named Henry. Go complain about that.
Vampires can’t get people pregnant. SPOILER!
Uhhh, it made the book more interesting thought didn't it. Bet ya didn't see that comeing? Which made it UNpredictable.
Vampire baseball was just a disgrace.
A disgrace?!?! No if they ran the bases just like any other baseball team, that would be a disgrace, cause wouldn't that be like.... "Oh, Vampires don't play baseball like a normal human being. They have super strength, and run with amazing grace and quickness. That goes against the rules" sounds about what you'd say.
People think Meyer is the best writer ever.
This is false. People that think this have never read another book. But then again, it is their opinion, and they may see her as the best writer they ever read stuff from.
The plot drags on forever, when it really could have been completed in two books.
Uhh, Harry Potter? Lemony Snicket series of unforunate events? Star Wars?? Movies and T.v. shows are like that too. I can summarize stuff like that in two sentences.
Wow, yet another ‘original’ plot of forbidden love.
Yet you want her to follow the "rules" set by past vampire novels and go off the things they say, which would be UNoriginal. You're not making anysense.
Why is it called the Twilight Series if only one book is titled Twilight?
It's called the Twilight Saga. &It's because the series begins at twilight. It's the time that Edward loves most in a day. It's when vampires can be themselves. It's just like the Luxe Series, Only one book is called Luxe. Or even the Clique Series. Only one is called The Clique. Go write 95 things about those books.
It’s too easy to mock. Go on Youtube, how many mocks on Twilight do you see?
Anything is easy to mock if you have an imagination. People mock Harry Potter all the time. Harry Pothead.. come on now. &I am also mocking you right now. So what, is that a reason to hate you or your opinion? [which I don't I actually love because I can argue] (:
They use a drug reference in a book written for ten-year-olds.
Once again, and you want to put a graphic sex scene in it?! I’d let my child here about drugs before sex.
Stephanie Meyer creates some interesting characters ie: Jasper and Alice. She then ignores them, and gives them no development.Every Other Facebook bumper sticker is about Twilight/Edward. EVERY OTHER ONE.
This isn’t true either. Many people say that Alice is there favorite character, and I’d have to say Jasper is my favorite out of the whole book. Even if he isn’t in it much. I bet you love Neville in Harry Potter or even Draco, and it doesn’t revolve around them.
Fangirls are so blinded by their love for Edward that they don’t realize the book is terrible.
Your opinion. &So, I’m pretty sure you have a band that has a guy in it that you adore, yet they are awful. Especially if it is Anthony Green. [don't get me started on that one] lol
Stephen King agrees that Stephanie Meyer can’t write ‘worth a darn’.
It’s stupid.
Stephen King’s mind is screwed up. he may think that because she’s getting all the attention instead of his freakish mind and sadistic books. He writes of crazy clowns, houses that live, cell phones and cats, I bet you want a ten year old to read that too.
Bella.
uhhhh, you can hate characters because you want to be them… it happens often, don’t worry.
Bella is Edward’s beard.
Yeaaaa?
Meyer wrote four books about nothing, really.
Well, it’s four more best selling books than you’ll ever write (:
Straight men sparkle?
Well, you see, I bet if a vampire were gay… it’d be breaking the rules of vampire writting.
It’s teeming with grammatical errors.
So are like ten other books I’ve read this year. It happens all the time. Go read a Jane Austin book… It’ll make your head spin with all the errors.
Bella Swan means beautiful swan, which is horribly cheesy.
Okay… there are plenty of oxymorons that are cheesy.
Edward Cullen is sparkly; crows like sparkly things.
&You hate the book because you wish even atleast a crow would pay attention to you?
Do any guys actually like Twilight?
Uhhh, actually I happen to know that all my guy friends that have read it enjoy it. and you know, even those gay boys like it to read about Edwards sparkly body.
If the first 200 pages of your book rely on the mystery of a character’s identity, don’t slap “First, Edward was a vampire” on the back cover.
It wasn’t a mystery though. If you didn’t freakin know, going off the “esteemed writers” previous “rules” on being a vampire, then your a moron. not even gunna apologize either.
There’s far too little actual conflict in the story. But this probably stems from having a flawless main character.
The whole actual conflict is that unoriginal forbiden love. We all know about those stories. &there are many conflicts in the story. Such as the volturi, the fact that she lies to her dad, the bestfriend begins to like her, her bestfriend and boyfriend cant stand each other, someone is freakin trying to kill her in one. but no, that’s totally not a conflict if some crazy chick ever trys to take my live from me.
They fall in love way too quickly and it seems fake because no one falls in love instantly, especially teenagers.
Oooooooo, well obviously someone should take a class in psychology. Once people are teens, we have the same thought process as an adult. Which means we have all the same feelings as and Adult, meaning we can be in love. The reason love doesn’t work so well when you are a teen though, is because we are going through so many changes of our own.
They only love each other because she smells good and he’s hot. There’s no other given reason why.
Goodness, they explain in the book how at first Edward didn’t even smell her, he realize she was the only person whose thoughts he couldn’t hear. &yes of course she is attracted to him because he’s gorgeous, that’s how everyone is on first impressions. We base it of physical appearence. But then later on, they go one and tell other reasons why they do love eachother. Just like anyone else.
It’s just not healthy to teach young girls that True Love involves the guy watching you while you sleep.
When you get older and live with someone you “Love” or you are married to, there are times when you loved one watches you while you sleep. I mean when I first read it I was thinking freak, and don’t really plan on having my boyfriend come in to my room at night to watch me sleep. Besides he never slept, it gave him something to do ;p
Edward is HOT. We get it.
Not everyone thinks that. &People in the paper and tabloids always talk about how hot a guy or girl is for that week. Go complain about that, while your at it.
She had only been in Forks for a month when Edward had been watching her sleep for two months.
Where did we get this bit of information? &If you really looked into it that hard, you have no life.
There’s something disturbing about Carlisle turning only teenagers into vampires.
He didn’t turn only teenagers into vampires. He’s got his wife who is what, 23? & he only turned Edward and Rosalie into vampires. Edward because he promised his mother he’d watch over him, and Rosalie as a mate for Edward. Rosalie found Emette and turned him. &Alice and Jasper found Carlisle together, while they were already vampires.
All Twilight fans are insane, proved by several responses to criticism such as…
“What is your name, address and phone number, just so that i can track you down ank kill You with my super awesom vampire powers THAT I AQUIRED FROM READING THE SERIES!!!!!!!!!!”
That is acutally quite funny.
And this…
“do you WANT a cult of angry twilight luvers like mysef at your doorstep at night trying to behead you????? you shouldnt voice an absurd oppinion like this on the internet.”
It’s your fault for posting stuff like this.
And this…
“you must have not read much good litterature in youre life, because if you cannot appreciate the quality of this art…..YOU ARE MENTALLY UNSOUND!!!!!!!”
Post anything like you did about Twilight, but instead for Harry Potter, X-MEN, Star wars… you’ll get the same replys.
Isn’t funny how Twilight fans can’t spell and use proper capitalization? By the way, 61, 62, and 63 are real quotes.
They are just so enraged. they’re insane… what can you say.
The reason Edward can’t read Bella’s mind is because she doesn’t have one.
Not true, if you get to the end, you find it’s a gift of hers.
T. Pain would totally win Bella’s heart and beat up Edward because he’s on a boat.
Hahahaha, WOW this is true xp
Edward hits on the school faculty to get out of classes.
Well, ya gotta do, what ya gotta do. that’s all I can tell ya.
We applaud Stephanie Meyer, as she’s got to be a rich woman by now, having found her forte in the insane cult of teenage girls who go rabid over her writings.
Like I said, she’s smart, while you were the dumb one who funded her cult (:
Vampires vs. werewolves (isn’t that a Facebook application and such a original idea?)
A face book app that prolly came from the Underworld or even this series. &Once again you get on to her for not following the typical stereotype, and the turn around and scold her for do that exact thing.
There’s nothing worse than a fan girl going insane over a fictional guy. It’s rather pathetic actually, so, um, yeah, get a life and keep reading those books, chickies.
You read Harry Potter, and you prolly obbsessed over him at a time to when you were young. You’ve prolly had fantasy about that one guy from that one movie you really love. So let’s really try not to be hypacritical.
This book was not worth the paper on which it was printed.
Yet once again, you helped fund once upon a time, and are now. You’re not making people not want to read it, your forceing them the other way.
Bella has no goals and no future, her life revolves around Edward.
Her goal actually was to become a vampire. & there are plenty of people yet again who’s lives revolve around other people. it’s not some new witchcraft.
WWJTFD: What Would a Judgmental Twilight Fan Do? Answer: attempt to attack with the ‘cool vampire powers’ they gained from reading the series. Awesome!
Hahaha, that’s funny, but not a reason to hate twilight. Just a reason to mock other people.
Even if you like the book, it doesn’t live up to its hype.
No, the movie didn’t live up to it’s hype. the book does. Unless you don’t like books about vampires that hate wolves, and fall in love with a plain jane girl. Then of course it wouldn’t live up to its hype for you. DONT FREAKIN WASTE TIME AND MONEY READING IT.
Edward is a good VILF, that’s it.
Yeaaaa?
“And I cried numerous times upon realising there would never be an Edward in this world.” – quoted from Almuvira Anona on Yahoo Answers.
Okayy, that’s just rediculous.
A hundred years difference = pedophile.
Yet seventeen, so legally, he’s not one.
It’s a co-dependent relationship stripped down to the bare essentials. Girl: “I can’t live without you. I want to change myself to be with you.” Boy: “If you leave me, I will kill myself.”
Okayyy, that is how many teenagers veiw their love life. That’s one way that they connect with the book better than you. You’ve probably never had a love so you take it out on a book that gets more action then you.
Stephanie Meyer must really be into pedophilia: first Edward and Bella, now Jacob and Renesseme? SPOILER.
Jacob doesn’t like Renesseme like that yet. He just wants to be like a big brother to her. There is nothing wrong with that. It happens in everyday life. &Soon she’ll catch up to his age at the rate she grows.
New hot couple name for Bella and Edward = Bedward
&this pretains to you hating the book how?
You may think Edward Cullen is smart and fast, but Chuck Norris could take him.
Once again??
Bella’s only deep thoughts are, ‘Edward is so perfect. I love him.’
She has deeper thoughts then that. She thinks of the conflict of her bestfriend that she has love for and how it entertwines with her love for Edward in New Moon. just an example.
The only reason I kept reading was to see if Bella could redeem herself by getting over him.
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