I am inspired by English writer Julie Myerson. She is not as well known as say Jackie Collins, Nora Roberts or V.C Andrews nor is she as prolific as the likes of Toni Morrison or Amy Tan but, she is a somewhat popular with a certain segment of the population. This is not a critique on her ability as a writer for she has established herself as an accomplished writer and has receive, from what I have ascertained her share of accolades and awards in recognition of her work. Recently, she has become more popular for the subject of her latest book than for her occupation. She wrote a book called Lost Child where she goes into detail about her then 17 year old sons alleged addiction to the drug known as Skunk.

The story sky-rocketed when her son Jake, the alleged skunk addict gave an exclusive interview to the Daily Mail stating, in fact that this book was written without his consent. He also said that while he did enjoy the recreational use of skunk that he was most certainly not the addicted, violent psychopath that sold drugs to his younger brother that his mother had written him to be. He sounded like a clear thinking young man with his wits about him and clever to boot. He gave an account of what was going on in his household in the time period that his mother had written about. He could have behaved as his parents had and laid bare the secrets of the troubled relationship that his parents had that was a contributing factor to him going of the rails to begin with.

The Myerson’s insist that the reason for this book being published was to help other families out there that may be suffering through the great Skunk epidemic or Emergency that they claim is sweeping the country. My question is since when did the public interest become of more value than familial interest and security? I am not defending drug use as I do not use any drugs recreationally and only for the occasional headache or when I have cramps. I am also not calling into question an authors right to expression when they are writing about events in their lives that include others. What I am questioning is rather it is wise to write without regard to the consequence about someone close to you. In the Myerson case Jake, if he decided that he wanted to pursue a career in parliament, as a solicitor or even a police officer and maybe a few other occupations his chances are very badly damaged because of the contents of this book. Many young people have had their dalliances with drugs and always have. Most people lie when they say that they have never tried drugs recreationally because they know that it will be held against them in the future. I mean the few politicians that came forth and admitted to have tried drugs in their youth have been met with scorn by many unrealistic and naive conservatives. So for this young man with so many hope and promise for a bright future to have his life placed on display because of his mother book rather than his being exposed because of his own indiscretion to the police is a betrayal on the part of his parents.

The Myerson’s have written their son off as lost and that is very unfortunate. They seem to be resigned to this as though this is a fact and give the appearance of treating him as though he’s dead. Countless families live with regret when they face the fact that when their loved one needed them most that not only were they abandoned, but treated with contempt and ridicule in their hour of need. Young Jake is not dead but very much alive. There is every opportunity that this family breakdown can be repaired though at this rate things seem to be deteriorating at a rapid rate because the parents cannot take responsibility for the fact that they are at least partially responsible for this spiraling out of control the way that it has.

Being a parent is the most difficult yet rewarding job that one can have and should not be taken lightly but all to often is by so many people. Babies are adorable and you can dress them in cute clothes. You get a warm fuzzy feeling inside when you see this little miniature you that you created and they say the darnedest things. As they grow and start to exert their independence this can be tough for many parents as you have your ideals and ideas about your children’s lives and how they should go. It is hard for many parents not to see is that their children are not an extension of themselves. It doesn’t occur them that these individuals that you share your genetic make-up with are not an extension of you and belong to themselves. They are their own person with their own views that often times differ greatly from yours.

The teenage years are as fragile in their own way as when they are toddlers for they are learning how to go out into the world as adults. They’re bodies are changing as well as their minds and it is hard for parents to accept the fact that though you view this person as the baby that you carried for nine months, gave birth to, went through teething with, potty training and their terrible twos, is growing into a young woman or man all their own. It is our job as parents from the time that we bring them into this world to be the best example that we can possibly be because we shape and mold the person that they will become. You are everything to your children, a GOD (though it may not seem that way when they are throwing a tantrum), you are their living and breathing introduction to life. Rearing them is not just about what you tell them to do or how to behave, but how you demonstrate in your own life.

While I am in no doubt that Julie and Jonathan Myerson are a very intellectual couple, I must question their wisdom. There are many people who are accomplished, educated and highly functioning individuals who are lacking in the wisdom department. They do not understand that if their son is lost it is they who have lost him. They need to be as honest as Jake is about the true intention for the release of this book. Have they considered their other children and how this is effecting them? Surely, they must live in fear of being the topic of their mothers next book? One of the things that bothers me most about Myerson’s behavior is that she said that she has not paid her son any cash for the use of his poetry in her book. She said that they bought him clothes. Jake is practically homeless and from what I read in the paper in need of new shoes. She refers to the practice of using his poetry in her book and profiting from it as tough love. She seems to believe that her family is not in crisis that though Jake is angry at her and though she agrees with everything that he has said, and admits that he is telling the truth, she believes that Jake will come back to her and thank her for writing a book and destroying many of his opportunities in life leaving him exposed to poverty.

There are so very many families that received faulty advice on how to deal with their loved ones drugs problems that live every single day with regret because they have either lost them in death or they never want to see them again. It is convenient to blame family problems on drug use. The drug abuser becomes a convenient scape-goat. When the abusers behavior is under the microscope it becomes easier to feel like and state that everything that is wrong in our relationship is down to the drug abuser placing them at fault for everything. I am not saying that the Myerson’s should have suffered Jake’s abuse. I think that had I been in their situation that perhaps I might have come to a similar conclusion but I would not have cast a 17 year old out to sleep on the streets and then profiting from it by publishing it is another matter all together. They had the money to pay for a bed-sit at least. They could have had him sent to a drug rehabilitation center.

They could have avoided this whole situation had they simply acted and not reacted to the situation. Had they not been so absorbed in their own lives, and treated their children as accessories instead of people there would be no story because most of this simply would not have come into being. Jake would have been like many of the young men and women that experimented with skunk but who outgrew it like the hundreds of thousands before him.