I’m not going to presume that I speak for all women with regard to the content of this entry, but as I journey deeper into the realm of singlehood, I’m experiencing all kinds of revelations. Of all the woes and worries of the dating world, one fact becomes all too clear:

I read way too many romance novels.

I know a great many women who indulge in these mindless fantasies that project a multitude of impossible happily ever after scenarios. I’m one of them. It’s one thing to lose yourself in an epic tale of adventure and romance, it’s quite another to get so caught up in the the intricate web of a beautiful story that you look for its elements in everyday life.

Every woman dreams of finding that perfect man. The one that fits us so perfectly that we can’t imagine breathing without him. We all want the tall, hunky Scotsman with that scintillating accent or that avenging Viking who would do anything to keep us at his side. The out-of-time highlander, oozing with ethereal sexuality, gorgeous beyond words and he’s only got eyes for you… and just for the record, vampires do not exist.

As you might be able to tell, I’ve got a thing for the highlander/Scotsman scenario. There are a myriad of heroes to choose from in the realm of romance novel characters. Preferences are all relative to an individual but the damage impact is the same.

Yes, I said damage. I’ve come to the conclusion that there are far too many women who get so caught up in the desire to live out their own romance novel that they will never find happiness. I mean, what man on earth can compete with a fictional character in a romance novel? Let’s be real here, ladies. We’re only hurting ourselves with this behavior.

Women have been reading romance novels for centuries. I’m sure most of us have read at least one book from authors like Jane Austin or Emily Bronte. Is it possible that the concept of romance novels have been ruining realistic potential in a relationship for just as long?

Allowing fiction like this cloud our hopes of finding the perfect man will result in the opposite reality. The perfect man does not exist anywhere but in our dreams. The sooner we put such detrimental expectations aside and learn that true love will present itself to us when we are ready for it, the better off we will be.

We need to remember that these archetype heroes have been created by the minds of women. Women, just like us. These men do not exist and you are never going to find that dreamy swashbuckling pirate waiting for you in some distant harbor. You’re never going to stumble over that sleep-enchanted highlander in a stone-circle ruin. Romance the likes of which these books exhibit does not exist. Books like these are what they are: an escape.

I believe there is magic in this world and that love can be the stuff of romance novels. I’m actually not contradicting myself with this statement. The moment that we abandon the tendency we all have to flood our life with the things we think we want and just relax and allow love to actually happen to us, we can then experience what it is to live out our very own romance novel. The difference is that this story is written in our words and not inundated with a well-written author’s perspective on what romance should be.

***addendum***

I received some constructive criticism based on the content of this blog and I’d like to clear something up…

I agree that not all women actually end up holding out for the alpha male romance novel hero. (I think that I have been one of those rare few and am myself guilty of the following…)

I believe that more often than not, women hold onto these ideals and grab up the first schmuck that comes along and later try to inflict those ideals upon him. For instance, I can imagine a scene where a woman finishes a romance novel and then gazes upon her man with a spark of disappointment in her eyes and says something like, “why can’t you be more like…”

Remember ladies, the average man is not given to reading romance novels and has absolutely no idea why you think he should be anything more than he is.